Husband must maintain practical justice between his wives. Practical justice is in treating them and spending time with each of them equally like he spends time with his other wives. It also requires spending on each of them equally.
Wassalam.
We read in our books of Hadeeth that we should use Kuniya when we talk to others. Kiniya is a respected way to address others who are in front of you. It is like Abu Ahmed, Abu Ali, Abu Husain etc.
In some societies, calling an older person by his first name is considered an act of disrespect. We must avoid any thing which can be taken by people as disrespect.
Saying vulgar words to or about others which is an insult to them is not permissible. Any act of insult to others is not allowed. Muslim should avoid vulgar language because every word is written on us in our book of deeds.
It's interesting that you have awareness of your usual manner. Have you been told that by someone else, or this is your own awareness? Being around others who are compassionate can help you to learn in a practical sense how to be more compassionate. Sometimes our behaviour patterns have been inculcated in us from childhood by the general dynamics and accepted codes of behaviour in the family, and they are hard to break. If you want to change your own patterns, you can try to do so in small ways where you feel comfortable and not awkward. You don't have to do big gestures that make you feel as if you are not your self. Once you get used to small changes, you can then work on other small changes, step by step.
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