Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims

13 Questions

Are you feeling nervous about committing? Are there any other difficulties that are not being addressed? Are you connecting to her emotionally? Maybe you are subconsciously seeking a connection that you might feel you are not getting in this partnership. You say you are 'satisfied with her deen and akhlaq', which sounds quite official and correct, but maybe there is something you have in your mind that you wish you still had. One way of remaining content is to remind yourself that, even if you were to be with one of the other women you are looking at, you would eventually confront the more challenging demands of marriage and commitment. Then the same subconscious fears would arise and you might once again start looking at other women. If you feel you are lacking an emotional connection with her, then it is good to discuss that with her. Maybe she feels the same and it is something that you can both work on. If you have had a childhood that involves parental conflict or divorce, you may also find it more difficult to connect emotionally. It may be good to seek out some therapy to try to understand what is going on in your mind at a deeper level, or to talk to someone about it. Do not keep silent about it, as it could continue after you get married.

It is wrong and harmful to compare what Allah (SWT) has given us with others. Comparing with others can make us less appreciative to the bounty of Allah on us, and even under estimating the bounty and ungrateful to Allah (SWT). Comparing with others make us lose the real taste of the bounty. Prophetic advice to Abu Thar: Never look in worldly matters to those who have more than you, as that can make you disrespect the bounty of Allah on you.

If your fiancée compare you with other men, will you like that?

We need to thank Allah (SWT) for every bounty He granted us and never look at others.


You must be more than careful when talking with or about your parents and must avoid uttering any word which can make them feel disrespected.

If your father is unwell and needs to be reminded, you should be very very polite and very nice in your attitude with him.


You would have to ask specific groups about their policies.

However, in general, it seems reasonable that a married couple might have more experience with the topic of marriage than a single person (unless it is a single person who was married for a long time and widowed, for example).

Of course, this is not always true, since a single person with a strong understanding of psychology and character, or who understands what makes two people compatible or incompatible, might also offer good suggestions for marriage. 

Also, the presence of a married couple might hopefully cut down on one of the main pitfalls in matchmaking, and that is when the matchmaker decides to get personally involved with the client in a way that is not in their best interest and which is ethically inappropriate. (For instance, a man decides he should act as a guardian of an unrelated female in marriage matters, then he uses that authority dynamic to pursue a relationship with her.)

Still, there isn't any specification about this and if anyone, single or married, can successfully help two compatible people get married, inshallah they would enjoy divine reward.