Zina is a major sin which has sever punishment in hellfire. Committing such major sin does not oblige the person who committed it to marry the woman or girl with whom he has committed the Zina.
It is mustahab to conduct nikah publicly, with witnesses attending. Marriage should not be concealed and secret. If, for some reason, you want to do this, you must make sure you meet all the requirements, especially in that the bride needs consent from her father, if she has never been married.
If you both meet the conditions, you can do a temporary contract, to avoid haram, and keep that secret, and then have a public Nikah. Of course, if you do that, prior to the public nikah, you must nullify the temporary contract.
Yes, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You cannot force yourself onto someone, especially if it seems they are not interested. Your dua to Allah ta'ala should be in asking Him to do what is best for you, and for you to evaluate the situation using reason and common sense.
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