Ask A Question About Islam And Muslims
My father is physically and verbally abusive to my mother and siblings despite them never cursing or harming him. What should I do as a daughter?
I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on.
However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore.
It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging.
By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings.
The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on.
You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.
These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well.
In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.
With prayers for your success.
My mother didn't pray her Wajib prayers for many years. As her son, and being the only child, do I have to perform her Qada prayers? If so, how should I get started given that I do not know how many prayers she had missed?
Assuming that your mother has passed, besides whether it is wajib for you or not, it would be the most noble and most loyal thing for you to do. Your mother might have forgotten, or unintentionally neglected, or gone through some difficulties, and did not perform her acts of worship.
You, the loyal son, are able to compensate that and the reward and blessings will not only go to her, but to you as well. In some hadiths it says there are some children who are loyal to their parents while alive, and not loyal when they die. Being not loyal is not doing dua or prayers or good deeds for them.
If you cannot roughly estimate, or have no idea, you have two options:
1. Pray what you can, as long as you are healthy and have time. The bonus is it's extra 'ibadah for you, which is a wonderful thing.
2. You can hire someone to do the 'ibadaat on behalf of your mother. There are many poor mu'mineen/mu'minaat who live off doing 'ibaadaat hire. Pay for whatever you are financially capable of.
With prayers for your success.
Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife.
It's fine as long as there is no secondary reason why they can't marry (for instance, they have a blood relationship that prevents it, etc.).
Anyway I think it is rather sweet. I hope they are all happy!