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The evidence of age of Bolugh (puberty) has come from the The Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him and His Holy Progeny) and after him from The Infallible Imams (AS). We have number of most authentic Hadeeths in this regard stating that the girl becomes Baligh when she completes nine Lunar years and the boy becomes Baligh by certain signs on his body and if no signs happen in his body than on completing 15 Lunar years. In Kitab Al-Kaafi Volume-7 Page-198 narration from Imam Mohammad Al-Baqir (A.S.) “The girl when she completes 9 year she does not remain orphan anymore and she can be married and she will be responsible of all the obligatories on her and rights for her. In Kitab Al-Kaafi also Volume-7 Page-197 narration from Hamraan who said that I asked Aba Jafar (A.S.) : When does the boy or the girl becomes responsible? Imam replied that the girl (becomes responsible) when she completes nine years; she will not remain orphan anymore and she will be responsible for her and on her. |
You should not invite them to your house as Islamic law strongly discourages or condemns the situation where a woman and a non-mahram male are alone together. (Whether you would be alone in the house or alone in a room.) There is no need for them to be at your house. This will prevent any sort of problems. Also remember that your intentions are only your own, and you don't have any guarantee about what the other person is intending or experiencing. |
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Bismihi ta'ala In regards to marriage and having a befitting suitor proposing to you, this is something that will hopefully happen in the right time and by the right person. All you need to do is keep with your dua, positivity, patience and good principles and standards. We have so many ahadith that condemn people who go after looks in marriage, or wealth. You do not want a shallow person who's understanding of life is just outer appearance of people. If you have high akhlaq and you are a person of values and you are religious, then they are missing out, not you. As for your family members, I am sure they are not serious with these comments, and you should not take things to heart. Do not let sarcasm or negative comments affect you or get under your skin. Brush them off, and smile or laugh back. The less you react to their comments, the less they will say these kind of things that could hurt you. Try speaking to somebody you trust, who could also have a serious conversation with your family about these comments. In shaa Allah my fellow colleagues will also have some advice for you as well. With prayers for your success. |
The previous answer is complete; I just wanted to add that "not being mentally ready" could mean a number of different things. My first impression when reading that was that it could mean she is not mentally ready to wear the hijab in a minority society (or a Muslim area where hijab is uncommon) - for instance, at a school where there are no other girls who wear hijab, and she might be under pressure to explain herself (but not be able to do so yet), or be teased, ostracized, or bullied, especially if she is shy or sensitive and does not have an assertive personality or a strong ability to stand up for herself. In some places, Islamophobic harassment might also be a concern. Not that it necessarily has anything to do with her personal sexuality. I just wanted to add that because sometimes there is a tendency to discuss the hijab wholly in the context of sexuality or modesty, wheres in minority societies, the main challenges and pressures regarding hijab are usually social and relate to things like Islamophobia. In any case, it is good to acknowledge, respect, and nurture the inherent maturity of young people. Even if they are still maturing in many ways, throughout much of history, young people have taken on many lifelong commitments at a young age, such as apprenticing to a profession, training in sports or the arts, or a religious conversion. Of course it is also good to acknowledge the limits of a child's maturity, since one doesn't expect someone who is 9 to be mature in every way. Still, in this day and age, in some societies, everyone who is under 18 is treated as a child which does not benefit them either; it is good to have a balance. |