Brother

A brother is a man or boy who shares one or more parents with another. Although the term typically refers to a familial relationship, it is sometimes used endearingly to refer to non-familial relationships. A full brother is a first degree relative.

190211

Marriage . Divorce . Children . Mother . Brother . Time . Domestic violence . Guilt . Hell

After enduring 20 years in an abusive marriage, that ended in divorce, and raising my children alone, why do I still feel guilty and fear hell, especially when my mother and brother don't accept me and consistently make me feel bad whenever we interact?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 year ago

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

This is probably due to the psychology of being in an abusive marriage; possibly the abuser always said directly or indirectly that whatever happens is your fault. (Unfortunately, other people in society will also blame the woman, even if the husband is responsible for his choices.)

Also, in life, we internalize an internal judgmental voice (like a "parent") which judges us based on the social norms that we absorb from other people. This inner voice will continue to judge us even if those people are no longer around (and, in this case, it sounds like there are people who may still be actively reinforcing these ideas).

Many Muslim women, especially in our generation and above, internalized a voice that said that being a good Muslim woman means being married and having children, and a woman who gets divorced is bad. This idea is more about social expectations (or wanting the security of a marriage for a daughter) rather than Allah or faith.

However, it is common for Muslim women who grew up around these ideas to deal with guilt after divorce, and it can take time to revise one's ideas about what is genuinely important before Allah and in the next life and offload social expectations that no longer serve us.

Sometimes this is also a way of processing trauma as well.

In all these cases, probably the best way to handle it is through qualified psychological counselling/therapy as well as reflection on what is really important in matters of faith. Sometimes, just identifying the issue is a step forward.

Wishing you the best!

187231

Brother . Daughter . Marriage . Grandparents

Can a boy marry his grandfather's brother's daughter according to Islamic law?

Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb, Sayyed Muhammad Husaini Ragheb has a BA in Law from Guilan University, Iran and has also undertaken Hawzah studies in Qom. He used to be a Cultural Affairs director of Ethics Group of Al-Mustafa... Answered 1 year ago

Salam
Yes

178217

Sunni . Brother . Sunni-Shi'a

How should one respond if someone emphasizes unity in Islam by saying "No Sunni, no Shia, just Muslim"?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 years ago

Real Islam sent by Allah (SWT) through the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) as the last message for all the mankind till the Day of Judgement is one religion and this fact is clear in Quranic verses. (Verily, the religion by Allah is the Islam)(Sura 3, verse 19).

The Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) never allowed following different sects. He always ordered Muslims to follow the Quran and Ahlul Bayt (AS) to remain in the Rught Path. Those sincere companions who followed that original Islam which was preached and practiced by the Prophet (SAWA) and his Progeny (AS) were named by him as Shia of Ali and he praised them in many Hadeeths narrated un Sunni books as well as Shia books.e,g, of Sunni books Shawaahid Al-Tanzeel by Al-Haakim Al-Hasakani, V.2, P.356, Kifayah Al-Talib by Al-Kanji al-Shafi'ee, P. 244, Lisaan Al-Milan by Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani , V.6, P. 243 Hayderabad Dkkin edition.

'Sunni sects never existed during the time of the Prophet (SAWA) but were created and printed by political leaders who wanted to drive Muslims away from Ahlul Bayt (AS).

Following Real Islam can never happen with out following the real Sunnah of the Prophet (SAWA) which is impossible with out following Ahlul Bayt (AS) who narrated the most authentic Hadeeths from the Prophet (SAWA).

The Shia Muslims are the real followers of the Sunnah of the Prophet as many leading Sunni scholars admit and Dr Tijani Smawi has written a full book on this fact. You can see it on the internet (Shia are the real followers of the Sunnah) الشيعة هم أهل السنة.

'Wassalam.

176648

Sunni . Brother . Hadith . Salam alaikum

A Sunni brother asked me about a discussion by the author of Bihar al-Anwar, in volume 26 page 82, where he suggests it is very difficult for our intellect to distinguish between Nubuwwah and Imamah. Can you confirm and explain further?

There is no doubt that Nubuwwah is only for the prophets, and it was ended by the Last Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) as it is stated in Quran (Sura Al-Ahzab, verse 40) and the very clear and authentic Hadeeth : O Ali, you are from me like Haroun was from Musa, but there is prophet after me. (Saheeh Muslim, Hadeeth 2404), Saheeh Al-Bukhari , Hadeeth 225).

All the twelve Imams from Ahlul Bayt (AS) who are the real successors of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) are having the great status from his great status (A Progeny who are from him. Sura 3, verse 34) but not prophets at all.

We are able to distinguish between Nubuwwah and Imamah, although both of them are from Allah (SWT) and we are absolutely ordered to obey the Infallible Imams as we are been ordered to obey the Prophet (SAWA) because of the fact that every order from the Ibfallible Imams is from the Prophet (SAWA) which is from Allah (SWT).

'We respect our pious Ulama but never claim infallibility to any Aalim.

Wassalam.

166084

Brother . Mahram . Sister

Is it Islamically allowed for me and my younger sister, who are not joining our parents and siblings on an Umrah trip, to be left alone at home for around 10-15 days?

Your parents are responsible to look after you and your younger sister and be sure that you are safe. If their leaving you alone can cause insecurity or danger in you, your parents should make full arrangements to protect you and ensure you full safety. You should your parents to consider your safety before they travel and leave you alone.

'Wassalam,

152995

Responsibility . Mother . Brother . Children

Is it my responsibility to live near my mother, even though she and my brother dislike my religion and pressure me to abandon it, despite the fact that I have two children and it would require moving to a non-Islamic country?

It sounds like there are a lot of factors to take into consideration (including what country you want to raise your children in and their educational opportunities in each place).

I can understand not wanting yourself or your children to be around negativity towards your religion, especially if they are living in a country where Muslims are the minority, and it is already difficult to be a practising Muslim/raise children as practising Muslims. From that angle, since you would not be receiving religious support from your family, it is good to consider whether there is a supportive, healthy, and welcoming Muslim community there to offer support for yourself and your children, especially in teaching children about Islam in a positive and appealing manner.

Probably there are pros and cons to staying where you are, or moving. There may be some hidden blessings to moving there but also some challenges. So it is good to consider all aspects (financial, religious, educational, social, emotional, etc) and make the best decision.

Possibly this may be situational, for instance, if your mother is at an old age and if you are concerned that she will pass away while you are not present and you would regret that, that might be a factor.

There is probably no rush to make a decision and sometimes when we give something time, Allah decides for us by changing the circumstances of our life to go one direction or the other. When unsure, it is good to pray for guidance, as it often comes clearly.

In any case, silat al-rahm can be done regardless of where you live and does not require living nearby especially these days when travel and communications are much easier.

Responsibility . Mother . Brother . Children

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

It is your wajib duty to obey your mother, as long as she is not encouraging or forcing you to commit sin. She wanting you to live near her could mean she is still caring for you and loves you. It is just a matter of accommodating to her, compromising where you can, controlling your emotions, and also creating boundaries.

With all the sacrifices you make for your mother, Allah ta'ala will certainly compensate in the best of ways.

And Allah knows best.

126182

Family . Brother . Handshake

There is a guy who lives with us such that he is now like a family member to us. We treat him like our brother and, as females, we even shake hands with him. Is this allowed in Islam?

It is not allowed to deal with him as a real physical brother. Hijab is must on you in front of him if he is Baaligh and it is Haraam to shake hands with him because he is not your real physical brother.

Wassalam.

113028

Brother . Marriage . Alcohol . Illegitimacy . Friendship

What should you do if you find out that your brother is having illegitimate relations outside of marriage with a non-Muslim and that they may also be consuming alcohol with friends?

Bismihi ta'ala

The most important thing a person must do in life is be very cautious about the circle of friends he/she has, and who they associate with.

We need to be extremely picky and sensitive towards this.

You need to advice your brother about the direction he is going, and how all this will affect his spirit and religious faith. Try to show him the bad effects of these people he is associating with, and how damaging something like an illegitimate relationship will be, and also alcohol.

If your advice does not have any effect, try to ask someone he respects to intervene, inform your parents to calmly advice him, and just try your best to dissuade him. Seek advice from people around you as well, who know him.

Dua is also very important. Hopefully, he will come to his conscience and realise the wrong direction he is heading. Just never give up.

With prayers for your success.

110785

Brother . Family . Mother . Silat al-Rahm

I have a toxic brother who has disrespected every member of my family multiple times including spitting on our mother. Am I allowed to cut ties with him?

Not at all. No matter how bad is your brother or relative, you should never cut ties with him but you should avoid endorsing his wrong acts.

You must keep a link with him through any suitable way of communication and keep advising and guiding him as and when you have a chance.

Wassalam.

99280

Brother . Money . Father . Loan

My brother entrusted me with his money and my dad asked that I should lend him some money from it. Am I allowed to do that?

Bismihi ta'ala

If you know that your brother would be ok with you using his amanah in a wise and responsible way, and that you would return it back to your brother once he asks for it, then you are allowed to lend that money to your father.

And Allah knows best.

96565

Brother . Homosexuality

I just found out that my brother is homosexual. His view is that it is not a choice and if he could help it he would not be gay. We are a Syed Shia family and are very concerned about this matter. What should we do?

Allah, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate never created a human being forced to do something which is clearly forbidden by Him. He mentioned in Quran and previous holy texts the sever punishment of people of Sodom when they insisted on their evil practice despite the teaching of their Prophet Lut (AS).

It is false and wrong to claim that this act is not a choice. It is in fact a desire like the desire of fornication or adultery or any sinful sexual desire. There are people who have sexual desires towards married women or to their own real sisters or even towards animals. It is simply an evil desire which can never be justified.

If your brother believes in Allah, then how can he understand the sever punishment mentioned in Quran ( Sura Hood, verse 82) and ( Sura al-Hijr, verse 74) on those who used to do similar acts.

You need to talk to your brother and remind him about the facts mentioned in Quran and by the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). You may take him to trusted scholars who can explain to him that desire is not a destiny especially when it goes against the clear and essential facts of Islam and morals.

If he applies his intellect and think properly, he should then realise the truth, but if he refuses the truth and insists on evil desires, then you can not help him as he is not willing to help himself. Nevertheless, you should not lose hope any way. Keep on trying to explain to him, as well as praying to Allah (SWT) to guide him.

Wassalam.

Brother

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