1. Islam does not allow any one to him other person. Husband is not allowed to hit his wife. What has been mentioned in Quran (4:34) has been misunderstood by translators. Our leading scholars have explained the meaning of it according to authentic Hadeeths from the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). We have authentic Hadeeths blaming and attacking the person who hits his wife and state that beside the sin that he has committed, he must pay a penalty to her which depends on the effect of the hit on her body.
2. She is free to give charity with out her husband's permission or even knowledge if she gives from her own money or money given to her by him for her, but if she wants to give from his own money, then he should approve that. This rule is general in Islam in all cases of using or dealing or giving the money of any one. The owner of the money must allow or approve that.