Mother

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 6 days ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

It is not allowed for one to completely cut ties with those who it is wajib to keep ties with. Yes, one may not have a good relationship with a certain family member and may not want to see them face to face, however there are a number of actions to still keep minimum contact which would not be considered cutting them off entirely. This could be through the phone, email or messaging apps which society would consider still keeping a relationship. 

With parents one should try as much as possible to keep a good relationship and the son ignoring his mother would be doing qat al rahm. 

May Allah swt grant you success

107007

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on. 

However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore. 

It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging. 

By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings. 

The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on. 

You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.

These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well. 

In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.

With prayers for your success. 

100638

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 5 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Assuming that your mother has passed, besides whether it is wajib for you or not, it would be the most noble and most loyal thing for you to do. Your mother might have forgotten, or unintentionally neglected, or gone through some difficulties, and did not perform her acts of worship. 

You, the loyal son, are able to compensate that and the reward and blessings will not only go to her, but to you as well. In some hadiths it says there are some children who are loyal to their parents while alive, and not loyal when they die. Being not loyal is not doing dua or prayers or good deeds for them. 

If you cannot roughly estimate, or have no idea, you have two options:

1. Pray what you can, as long as you are healthy and have time. The bonus is it's extra 'ibadah for you, which is a wonderful thing. 

2. You can hire someone to do the 'ibadaat on behalf of your mother. There are many poor mu'mineen/mu'minaat who live off doing 'ibaadaat hire. Pay for whatever you are financially capable of. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 6 months ago

Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife. 
'Your mother-in-law must observe Hijab from your father but not from you. Obviously, when they are non-Mahram to each other, marriage between them is permissible.

Wassalam.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 6 months ago

It's fine as long as there is no secondary reason why they can't marry (for instance, they have a blood relationship that prevents it, etc.).

Anyway I think it is rather sweet. I hope they are all happy!

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 8 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If the father or grandfather are still alive, they are still her shar'i guardian, whether they play a role in her life or not. Unless of course she reaches out to them, and for an unjustifiable reason refuse to give their consent, in such a circumstance the case would be different. 

However, assuming that they are still alive, she must obtain their consent. 

If they have passed, for marriage to be legitimate, she does not need to seek consent, however from a social/moral perspective, she should aim at having family involved, and not pursue an ongoing relationship through a permanent marriage, and not temporary.

And Allah knows best. 

In the case that her father grandfather and If we were to answer jurisprudentially, if her father and grandfather 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

You must avoid hurting the feelings of your mother. She does not want for you but the best,so, you should consider her wish even if it seems to you now against your wish, but be sure that success can never achieved through hurting the feelings of your parents.

Listen to your mother and keep her respect, and be sure that Allah (SWT) will look after you and grant you success from unexpected sources, and protect you from unseen dangers.

Wassalam. 

80129

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

It is not permissible for a Muslim to give his or her child to non Muslim to raise even to your own mother if she is still non Muslim. Raising the child includes many things which must be from Muslim and never allowed from non Muslim, e.g. Halal food, Faith in Allah, practicing religious obligatory acts, etc.

Wassalam.

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Seyed Saied Alavi, Seyed Saied Alavi is a researcher based in Qom who has studied from the Howzah of Qom and also completed a Pastoral studies program. He is currently a university lecturer in the fields of Shia... Answer updated 1 year ago

In the name of Allah

The answer is Yes.

When You breastfeed someone else's child (with all the conditions that will be mentioned below) That child is basically like a child of Your own. So he/she will be Mahram to:

  • You (Breastfeeding mother), your parents, your grandparents and so on, your siblings, your aunts and uncles.
  • Your husband (Breastfeeding Father), his parents, his grandparents and so on, his siblings, his aunts and uncles.
  • Your Children (current and future), your grandchildren and so on.

But what are the conditions for breastfeeding to result in Mharamiyyat?

1. The child should suck the milk from the breast. So if the milk is poured into the child's mouth, it doesn't count.

2. The child should be under two years of age.

3. The milk should be the result of a Halal relationship.

4. The Child should not throw up the milk. If so, it doesn't count.

5. The quantity or duration of breastfeeding should be either of these:

  • Enough so that his/her body would grow due to that milk.
    (Grow: muscles/meat are created or bones will be strengthened)
  • 15 times in a row. (without any other food or milk from another woman)
  • 24 hours straight. (without any other food or milk from another woman)
     

WasSalaam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Yes it is allowed. She is like his cousin, so marriage is permissible between them.

Wassalam.

71401

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

I am sorry to hear you have to go through that. I am sure that is very upsetting.

Well, it is not as if God is going to punish you or send you to hell because your mother is cursing you while she is drunk. However, it isn't healthy to have that kind of negativity directed towards you, so if there is anything you can do to provide a more positive and spiritually/personally uplifting environment around yourself (for instance, listening to Qur'an on headphones), it might help deal with some of the negativity.

Also if possible it might be good to find people who have life experience and who can offer good advice (such as a relative or school/university counselor, if you are at an age where you are going to school/university) to discuss your future with, since it is easy to internalize negative ideas, particularly if our parents are telling them to us, and it might be healthy to be hearing a more positive voice about what you can do and how to aim for it.