Conversion to Islam
Conversion to Islam is the adoption of the set of beliefs identified with the Islamic faith to the exclusion of others.
Yes she can, as she has become a Muslim.
Muslim unmarried female can marry Muslim male.
As both of you are Muslims, Alhamdulillah, marriage is very simple and
easy according to the Islamic rules. Both of you should agree an
amount which is called Mahr which is the right of the female. If she
is a virgin, means if it is her first marriage, then she needs the
permission of her father. But if her father refuses for any reason
which is not valid in Islam to object on the marriage, then she is
allowed to get marriage to a suitable Muslim believer to save herself
from sinful acts. After agreeing the Mahr, you need a person who knows
Arabic language properly to recite the marriage agreement which is
called Nikah or Aqd of marriage. In this marriage agreement she, or
anyone on her behalf, says in Arabic, that she agrees to become your
wife for the agreed Mahr (ZAWWAJTUKA NAFSI ALAL MAHR AL MA'LOM) and you or someone on your behalf, say in
Arabic “I accept the marriage for the said Mahr”(QABILTU AL TAZWEEJ ALAL MAHR AL MA'LOOM). Witness of two pious men is recommend
but not compulsory in marriage.
May Allah SWT grant you both the best
and keep you blessed with more Imaan and prosperity.
Congratulations! I am happy to hear that you found each other.
It is permissible for you to recite the marriage contract yourselves. However, it is often nice to have a third party do it for you. I recommend that you call or e-mail a mosque (if there is not one near you, then one further away) and ask them to assist in conducting the marriage.
It is not unheard of for a religious marriage to be performed during a community gathering (such as Du'a Kumayl or a celebration) at a mosque, and this might be a good choice if you do not have Muslim religious friends, so that others can share in the occasion. You can always have another celebration later for other friends/family.
It is compulsory on any new Muslim man to get himself circumcised.
Circumcision for him is an obligatory act (Wajib). If he does not
perform this obligatory act, his Tawaaf around the Ka’aba will be
invalid and if he slaughters any animal, that animal will be not be
As far as having children with his Muslim wife, it is permissible in principle, but
his Muslim wife should be sure that he is really a Muslim who does not object
to the rules of Islam.
The Muslim women should be sure about the future of her marriage future with him and should not, God-forbid, have to face unexpected situation that he rejects the rules of Islam.
There are all sorts of reasons why people convert to a religion, and sometimes the person doing the converting doesn't even know all of their own psychological motivations.
If he professes and accepts the shahadatayn (there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet) and the general beliefs of Islam that go with it, and appears to be sincere and honest about it, then he is considered a Muslim and she is allowed to marry him. Only Allah knows what it is in people's hearts, and it sounds like this guy may be rather complicated.
If he is openly telling her that the only reason he is practicing Islam is because he wants to marry her (and, for instance, he will apostasize if she rejects him), then it is inadvisable for her to marry him, especially if she intends to have Islam as part of the family environment and pass Islam on to the children. For instance, if he says he doesn't really believe that the Qur'an is divine revelation but is just saying it to her dad to marry her, that's more or less like saying he is not a Muslim anyway.
However I suspect that, after 7 years, the truth here is probably somewhere in the middle - that is, if there were no commitment or self-investment in the faith, he probably wouldn't still be practising it. From the little you have said, it sounds like his personal identity and sense of self may be caught up in her, such that he defines himself by her, including but not limited to religious identity. (As a side note, this isn't unheard of for converts to Islam, given that the often lose a sense of family or heritage, although in my experience it tends to happen more with women.) That doesn't make him a non-believer, but it isn't psychologically healthy especially in a marriage. (This may or may not be the case, just putting it out there.)
In any case, it is good for him to sort himself out. It may be that Allah will test him by preventing the marriage in order to see whether he is really dedicated to his faith. If he wouldn't continue the faith without her, he should question why he wants to commit to starting a Muslim family and living Islam for the rest of his life and having it live on in his children.
7 years is a rather long time to follow a religion solely for the sake of hoping for a marriage and, indeed, it is a rather long time to wait for someone. Yes it is somewhat romantic to think of someone waiting that long, but, also, when that happens, sometimes it is the case that the person is more in love with what they can't have rather than the actual person, or else they are in love with the ideal of the person instead of the actual person. It may be than an actual marriage wouldn't work out, even if it is what he thinks he wants. Also, if there has been no progress towards the marriage in 7 years, it is worth considering that it may never work out.
So I think it is better if he focuses on some self-reflection on deciding who he really is or believes and who he himself wants to be in life, rather than putting things on the shoulders of his beloved. It's not really fair to put all that on someone else anyway. Regardless of what the interfering issues with the marriage are (or what he thinks the interfering issues are, since, surprisingly often, in my experience, men do not understand the real reasons why women do not want to marry them), I also think he would benefit from setting a deadline for the marriage, say, 6 months, either they get married or he moves on.
If she believes in Allah as The One God, and in Muhammad (SAWA) as the last messenger from Allah, then she is a Muslim even if intends to seek financial support.
Yes, it is compulsory for you to get circumcised as the Hadeeth narrated from Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (AS) that Imam Ali (AS) said: When a man becomes a Muslim, he must get circumcised even if he reached the age of eighty.
( Was'il al-Shia by al-Hurr al-Aamili, vol. 21, page 440.)
It is not allowed for man to perform Tawaf ( around the Ka'bah) if he is not circumcised as it narrated from Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq ( AS): uncircumcised man is not allowed to do Tawaf around Ka'bah. ( Wasa'il al-Shia by al-Hurr al-Aamili, vol. 13, page 270).
If the virgin Muslim girl does not know her father or has no way to know
about him to seek his permission for her marriage, then she will be
allowed to get married to a suitable Mo’min who is compatible to her.
According to Islam, it is not ideal to have a pet dog, and it is better in terms of Islamic etiquette not to have a dog in the house, but it is not forbidden to have one.
However, if you have a dog in the house, you should be sure to observe Islamic rules of cleanliness for prayer. For instance, before praying salat, wash any area of yourself that the dog might have been licking or if the dog came into contact you while it was wet. When praying salat, avoid praying directly on the floor and instead pray on top of something (like a prayer rug or, if you do not have one, a towel or mat or something similar), and put it away when you are not using it so the dog cannot get to it. Also, be sure your clothes do not have dog hair on them and have not been licked by the dog or touched by a wet dog; if your dog is very affectionate, you may wish to have a separate pair of clothes that you only wear for salat (if this is possible). Also, if your family is very casual about dishes and where the dog goes, be sure the dishes you use have not been, ahem, slobbered on, licked, etc. (Some people are very strict about these things and some people are casual, that is why I am mentioning it)
Yes, this is inconvenient, which is one of the reasons it is better not to have a dog in the house! But you can still practice Islam and all aspects of Islam with or without a dog present.
You have a great responsibility on your shoulders, in not only honouring your revert wife in the best way you can, but also showing the highest standards of Islamic Akhlaq to your in-laws. You represent Islam, and they see Islam through you. Even though they might be atheists, or followers of a religion, for you it is of utmost importance to conduct yourself in the best way possible.
Your wife also has an important duty in trying to maintain the relationship between the two families as civil as possible. Along with her studying about religion and deepening her understanding of Islam, she can also engage in polite and productive discussions with them.
When she does this, there will be no concern from your side that she is being negatively influenced. If she is strong enough in her faith, then even if a discussion becomes heated, it will not effect her.
Yes, it might be frustrating from your side, and all you want to do is just socialise with your in-laws, but they bring up topics that might aggravate you.
The extent of the relationship is that you honour them, as your in-laws, and that you avoid arguments or anything that would tension things between you and them.
You should maintain patience, and think of the bigger responsibility you have. Always do dua for them, and pray for their hidayah.
With prayers for your success.
as salam alaikum
perhaps a good teacher of Qur'an may help you in your situation. Sometimes when we are faced with learning without proper support we get frustrated as we are not moving the way we are aiming for.
You may also consider to learn Qur'an directly from Arabic language without transliteration or latinized versions. The Arabic Qur'an is the word of Allah and it purifies you, even if initially you don't understand the meaning. By being aware that Allah is speaking to you, peace and serenity should fill the heart.
So initially it is good to learn to recite with proper tajwid and memorize what you can; but you need a good teacher for that, especially at the beginning stage. Nowadays there are courses available also online although the traditional way is always preferable in ordinary circumstances.
Never be frustrated for what it takes, for each person there is a path to follow and no one is better than the other except in taqwa. In other words it is the quality of your sincerity that counts the most, not the quantity of your actions or the apparent result.
With prayers for your success.
In this particular stage that you are in, while becoming acquainted with a religion, it is fundamentally important for you to put all your effort into understanding the foundations of the religion. While searching into Islam, it is not the branches or laws that you should be focusing on, but rather the very issues that define Islam.
What defines Islam is Monothesim, and that the foundation of Islam is a reason-based religion that accommodates to our intellectual and rational nature as human beings.
As for the jurisprudential matters, they are secondary matters that you look into not only through "reason", but through devotion. As you might know, Islam means to "submit" to the will and command of Almighty God, as a devout worshipper.
In the realm of Shari'ah and Islamic jurisprudence and law, there are many discussions that might exhaust you at this particular time.
However, that being said, yes, there are differences of jurispudential laws between the Sunni School of Thought and the Shia School of Thought. Furthermore, there is a difference within these schools themselves.
So, if you agree with the Sunni view on marriage, you must look into which school that is. And what is wrong with temporary marriage contracts? Should you read about it, you will understand that there are many substantial arguments that proof Mut'ah existed as a law during the time of the Prophet of Islam (s.a.w.).
In Sunni fiqh, due to the refusal of acknowledging this, they had to come up with alternatives that do not have a Shar'i basis, like misyar, and a few others.
Someone does not have to practice temporary marriage, and in reality most Shi'a do not. But, like many other laws, it is there to serve a purpose for those who require it.
As for Khums, again, what would your understanding of Khums be, so much that you "strongly disagree with it"?
If you look at religions, and sects, you will see that you are forced to give a percentage of your yearly wages and income. In Sunnism, you must give from your Zakat.
In Shi'ah law, you spend as you wish, and do as you wish, and IF you have some left over money at the end of your year, and you've placed that for savings, then you give 20% of that, not to the rich, but to support and help the Islamic community you live in.
I think this is something honourable and something we are proud of.
My advice, besides focusing on the foundations of Islam, is to stay away from being negatively influenced by bad propaganda, and look into these affairs from all angles, trying to find reliable sources as well.
With prayers for your success.