Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, forswears recompense from or punishment of the offender, however legally or morally justified it might be, and with an increased ability to wish the offender well. Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), pardoning (granted for an acknowledged offense by a representative of society, such as a judge), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship).
I can't quite figure out the Arabic text of these quotations in English, in order to discuss them, so it would be helpful if you could write the exact texts in Arabic, or give a reference.
The closest narrations that come to mind are:
* It is narrated that the best form of ibadah is love for the Ahl al-Bayt (A).
* There is a narration in the Sunni books that a man who is bodily injured by someone (such as in a fight) and forgives that has offered a form of charity to the person who injured him.
Anyway, there are a lot of hadith attributed to the Prophet (S) saying "the best form of worship is..." and "the best form of charity is...", and sometimes different things are mentioned.
From this, one gets the sense that the intent behind the text is often to say that "this is a good thing to do" and encourage people to do it, not that there is a hierarchy of different types of charity or worship, and only one of them is at the top.
(Except in a case where the text is very clear that this is the absolute best thing to do and specifies that it really is meant to be better than anything else.)
Of course, there are many hadith encouraging charity (whether it be material assistance, or other forms of generosity such as kindness or assistance), forgiveness, and love (apart from love towards the vicious or enemies of God).
(Note that someone else may recognize what texts are being discussed here and have a better answer!)
What you were told is not always correct. Allah's forgiveness is much greater than our imagination. Sincere repentance and seeking forgiveness can omit the sins totally as Allah says ( Verily, Allah forgives all the sins)(Sura 39, Verse 53). More than forgiveness, Allah changes the sins of very sincere believers who repent, believe and do good in to good deeds (Sura al-Furqan, verse 70).
Allah knows who is entitled to be forgiven according to the degree of his sincerity and real decision not to commit the sin again. Allah (SWT) said in Quran (Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves (in committing sins) : Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins, truly He is The Oft-Forgiving, The Most Merciful) Sura 39, verse 53.
We need to always seek forgiveness and repeat that whenever we remember our sins.
Muslim woman is not allowed to marry non Muslim man under any circumstance until and unless he becomes a Muslim.
We are allowed to pray to Allah for non Muslim to be guided and to see and follow the true religion of Islam.
Your late wife must have been a good lady for you to continue to remember her. Yes, of course you can do dua and pray for her forgiveness, as long as she was not hostile to Islam and she knew no better.
With prayers for your success.
It is not obligatory on non Baligh child to seek forgiveness for acts committed by him during his childhood. It is good to seek forgiveness from them if you can. It is also good to pray to Allah to forgive you and them as well.
Allah (SWT) is The Forgiver. The Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) taught us to supplicate to Allah: O Allah, who no one forgives sins but He يا من لا يغفر الذنب إلا هو
This part of Du'a Jawshan al-Kabeer which we recite during month of Ramadhan and other occasions.
We seek the Shafa'ah (intercession) from the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) to Allah (SWT) to forgive our sins.
If you did not tell them nor any one else about your bad thoughts, you don't need to tell them now but just to seek forgiveness from Allah to forgive you and them as well.
You need to seek forgiveness and pardon from them. If you are unable to do that then seek forgiveness from Allah to forgive you and them and keep praying for them.
Although you might have been young, but you must have known that talking ill about someone is a bad thing. If this person is still alive, and you do see him, greet him, and just say 'forgive me if I have wronged you', without going into details.
I am sure he wont comment on anything, and answer in a positive way, and your conscience will be clear, in shaa Allah.
With prayers for your success.
Thank you for your question. Even when we repeatedly promise and break our promises we can only keep seeking forgiveness from Allah, with renewed intention of not repeating that action. Sometimes it is hard to do something and we repeatedly fall back into the same mistakes. But just keep trying and begging for help and forgiveness. As long as we don't take our promises lightly and truly mean them, there is always a chance for us to not break them the next time.
May you always be successful
After you have repented to God, if you have somehow wronged them, intentionally or unintentionally, then pray for them with doing dua for their soul.
If you can, visit their grave, and read some Quran over their grave. Pay some sadaqah on their behalf, or do some good deeds, and gift it to their soul.
Recite fatiha for them, whenever you remember them. Give out some food on their behalf, and gift its reward to them.
Be kind to their family members who are alive.
These are some of the things that are recommended to do. As you are sincere, in shaa Allah, the Almighty and the marhoom/marhoomah will forgive you.
And Allah knows best.