The heart is a muscular organ in most animals, which pumps blood through the blood vessels of the circulatory system. Blood provides the body with oxygen and nutrients, as well as assisting in the removal of metabolic wastes. In humans, the heart is located between the lungs, in the middle compartment of the chest.In humans, other mammals, and birds, the heart is divided into four chambers: upper left and right atria and lower left and right ventricles.
Bismillah, one of the most difficult things for human beings to obtain is clarity. Clarity can especially be difficult to obtain if you were raised in a family that gas-lighted you, or emotionally manipulated you. This kind of behaviour violates the normal boundaries of your dignity and respect, and can cause you to become confused and doubt what is right and what is wrong. Clarity is obtained through coming to understand your worth as a human being. Phobias may arise as a natural part of the human being's survival instinct, but can be wrongly applied if the person has not overcome past traumas. Thus, if the mind rationally knows that something is OK, the heart of the person may still carry a phobia. Closely studying psychology and human behaviour for maybe five years, through books and online lectures and videos, can help you to understand yourself more.
Actually 'reason' is not infallible. The line between reason, intuition, the heart and self-interest is not clear-cut. Working towards clarity can take ten or twenty years of a lot of deep reflection and study. Do not be upset if it doesn't come just within months.
Thank you for your question. Supplication from and with the heart is perfectly fine. Indeed, our very poverty is an existential supplication to the Almighty.
May you always be successful
The Hadeeth says: Eyes will not be dry but because of hard hearts, and hearts will not be hard but because of sinful acts.
We always need to seek forgiveness and remember and repent our sins and beg for forgiveness.
It is mentioned in the Hadeeths to put you hand on the head of an orphan so that your heart will be more soft and sympathetic.
It is also very good to visit the grave yard especially the graves of your parents or relatives or friends. Seeking your needs in a Du'a near your parents is very useful.
Seeking forgiveness is compulsory to avoid the dangerous consequences of the sin. Beside its necessity to repair the damage of the sin, it gives a feeling of relief and comfort to the sinner because it is part of remembering Allah which is the only source of peace of mind (Sura 13, Verse 28).
Nevertheless, it does not mean definitely that Allah (SWT) Has forgiven the sin. Allah forgives our sins if we sincerely seek forgiveness and decide not to do it again, and give back the rights of others, but He knows when?
We need always to remember our previous sinful acts and keep on seeking forgiveness.
It depends on the state of the heart and the love of Allah in the heart. There are faithful persons living the love of Allah in their hearts more than loving anything or anyone else, so they enjoy this love and get ample of blessings and bounties from the love of Allah. Love of Allah makes them always remember Him, obey Him and be with Him.
On the other hand, there are persons who forget Allah and ultimately forget themselves as we read in Quran about the sinners: They forgot Allah, so He let them forget themselves, those are the disobedient) (Sura 59, verse 19).
Faith in the heart can be healthy and it can be ill. Healthy faith can be more healthy (Allah grants more guidance for the guided believers)(Sura 47, verse 17). Unhealthily hearts in faith are caused from wrong thinking, following the evil desires and following Satan. Those who opt to ignore remembering Allah, and insist on turning their face from Allah will be joined by Satan to make them more blind and make their life more miserable.(Whosoever turns his face from remembering Me, his life will difficult and We will raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection) (Sura 20, verse 124).
Remembering Allah and thinking about His countless bounties on us help us a lot to have a better life with strength and peace of mind. Repeating Estighfaar (Seeking forgiveness) and repeating Salawaat is very useful in gaining peace of mind and spirit.
Sinful acts leave blots on the heart which can be removed by sincere seeking forgiveness, but those who don't seek forgiveness will lose the light in their heart as they commit more sins till their heart can be blotted by their sins.
'We always need to seek from Allah to keep us on the right path and never let us deviate.(Our Lord, Let not our hearts deviate after You Have guided us, and grant us mercy from You, truly You are The Bestower) (Sura 3, verse 8).
We have addressed this issue a few times, discussing coerced marriage being Islamically invalid and the worst kind of oppression.
The nikah would not be valid, because you are not willingly getting married.
Please see the other answers given on this topic of forced-marriage.
With prayers for your success.
This requires a special understanding and cognition of the reality and continuous presence and grace of God in our lives and the nature of our connection with Him as well as our utter dependence on Him.
You may find useful to watch this recently concluded series of lectures by Sh. Javad Shomali.
In addition to praying for assistance in learning, I would suggest that perhaps you can try different techniques for learning. For instance, some people memorize well if they memorize to a fixed set of sounds (such as copying someone's recitation from a recording and always reciting it the same way until it is fully memorized). Others memorize well if they visualize the contents of the text well. Some people even use hand gestures with meanings to help with memorizing.
Personally, I find that knowing more about the tafsir of ayat helps me to remember them better, since I am able to put them in place better and understand how they relate to each other.
I heard of someone once who memorized the whole Qur'an during advertisements on TV. He used to sit and watch the news and then, every day during the advertisements, memorize an ayah or two. So sometimes having small habits during the day to practice can also be helpful, in addition to longer sessions.
I also find that if I wish to remember something, repeating it while I am doing something else (walking, cooking, etc) helps me to review it in such a way that it is remembered better, because it needs to come out while I am distracted and not focusing on it. Inshallah this is not disrespectful to the Qur'an, but just suggesting it as a possibility.
I am sure there are also other techniques.
I am sure you will get more suggestions from others, but I just thought I would share those.
Also to repeat what you already know daily or as often as possible helps.
Sometimes the challenge with remembering is just due to age, since children are blessed to remember almost everything they see and hear, alas, this capacity sometimes wanes with age while at the same time we grow more busy and our minds full of many other things. So this is another reason to try new techniques. Inshallah Allah will help.
Evil thoughts especially when they are not within a person's control are not considered sins. The best way to rid yourself of these thoughts is to absolutely ignore them. They will become less and less until they fade away completely. They are not really what you think but something that just crosses your mind and they should be treated as such. If it has reached the stage when you cannot help making yourself think these things then again the best remedy is not to punish yourself at all, but to completely ignore them as if they did not even occur. Over time it will pass.
May you always be successful
Maybe it is good to talk to someone wise and trustworthy since the believers are encouraged to take advice from each other, so that this can help you make the best decision and figure out why your heart and mind are having different opinions.
If it is possible to explore or further investigate the option you are thinking about, without committing anything haraam or causing any harm to yourself or others, perhaps that might also shed some light on it.
For some things in life of course we don't know about them until we do them.
Tanzeel is the gradual revelation of the Quranic verses according to the different situations.
Inzaal is revealing the whole Quraan in one time.
Inzaal on the heart of The Prophet happened on Laylatul Qadr.
Tanzeel on The Prophet took about 23 years gradually.
Tanzeel which is the gradual revelation of Quraan on the Prophet (SAWA) is the explanation of your question.
Every situation which required revelation the Tanzeel (the gradual revelation) was responding to it which comes accordingly. Prophet was sad because of the evil acts of the enemies of Allah and was a happy when seeing the victory of the religion of Allah and the followers of Islam . It is according to the Tanzeel (the gradual revelation).
If you repeated the wrong words of others with out intention of its meanings of Shirk, you are not a Mushrik. Your faith is what is in your heart. Still you need to repeat Estighfaar for saying something wrong.