Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 days ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If you have your family's blessings, and she has her family's blessings, then you can commence with communicating with her, within the shar'i boundaries of course. That would be something positive, to get the know the person prior to the marriage ceremony. 

However, if it is away from parents knowing, and without any correct guidance, then you should not do that. A male/female going behind their parents' and secretly communicating with another person, wanting to supposedly marry them, is not at all advisable. 

Parents should never be the last to know. That is a very disloyal trait, and in most cases ends very bad. First step is to have family involved, and then everything will fall in place, in shaa Allah.

With prayers for your success.  

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This is a very important question, and relevant to all of us, as we all somehow socially interact with others. In today's society, the boundaries of non-mahram interaction are also weaker than before, which makes it even more challenging for us Muslims. 

Please watch this presentation I gave in the holy month on this very topic, with detail explanation. It starts from the 1:38 hour mark:

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 weeks ago

Inshallah you will find someone. As they say, there is somebody for everybody.

Attraction is somewhat different from conventional standards of beauty or handsomeness; sometimes two people like each other even if they don't fit society's definition of what is attractive. And, of course, different people have different ideas of what they find attractive in a mate. So, I am sure you have some features or qualities which are appealing!

And, of course, not everyone is looking primarily at physical appearance; some people value inner qualities such as compassion, helpfulness, reliability, and other things; or they admire other skills such as artistic skill, intellect, sports skill, charitable work, good conversation, or whatever. This is, of course, apart from religiosity.

If you really feel you are not physically appealing, then maybe it is good to focus on demonstrating the other personal qualities you have to offer, and this could make you look good in the other person's eyes. Most people would much prefer to be with someone who genuinely demonstrates they will look after them and be there for them or other demonstrations of good character (such as helping others) rather than someone who just looks good. 

If you are male, you could consider that a lot of women don't look primarily at physical appearance especially if they are looking to settle down and have a stable life. If you need to convince the family, certainly most women's families couldn't care less what the man looks like. At the end of the day, physical appearance waxes and wanes, but a person's character remains. 

As for career, do your best (and these are difficult times). But also remember that, these days, depending on where you live, there isn't always a social expectation that the man will be the sole provider (even if he is obliged to be by shariah). Also, as women get older, if they are single, they are more likely to have a career and income. So, this might become less important if you look to marry someone in a slightly older age bracket. Inshallah Allah will enrich you upon marriage, as the Qur'an says. 

In my observation, the main factors for people getting married and staying married are not handsomeness/beauty and wealth, but, rather, having a good set of family values and a strong sense of commitment, as well as maintaining strong social ties with others. (This is somewhat counter to what people think.)

Put differently, most people who genuinely want to get married, do get married.

Often, when people don't get married, there is sometimes some underlying reason; for instance, they aren't really wanting commitment, they are unable to make up their mind, or there is something else pushing a potential spouse away (apart from financial reasons). So if you know someone who has good insight into human beings, you could ask the if there is anything that you might change in how you are looking for a spouse or how you are interacting with potential spouses or their families.  

Of course, there could be nothing for them to say and it could simply be a matter of circumstances or simply not being the right time for you.

Anyway, inshallah, will do duas for your finding a good spouse. Continue to ask Allah especially on laylat al qadr and Allah is shy to reject duas! 

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

You should try your best to get married with a suitable believer as soon as possible. Outer looking is not important nor financial situation as far as faith and morals are nice.

Marriage itself opens gates of income as we read in the Hadeeth: Get married for more income, surely marriage brings blessings in income. تزوّجوا للرزق فإن فيهن بركة.

Keep on repeating Salawaat and Istighfaar and reciting the verse: إنّ هذا لَرِزقُنا ما له مِن نَفاد Sura 38, verse 54.

Wassalam .

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In our Shari'ah, we do not have any prohibition or censuring of marriage of a Seyid/Seyidah to a non-Seyid/Seyidah. This is a cultural practice and personal preference of a parent. 

One must bear in mind though that if one is to marry a Seyid/Seyidah, they must stress on a higher level of honouring and respecting them, due to their lineage to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). 

As this is a frequently asked question, please refer to other answers given on this:

Zaid Alsalami's response to Is a female Sayed allowed to marry a non-Sayed male? (al-islam.org)

And:

Zaid Alsalami's response to Is it true that Imam Khomeini's daughters are married to non-syed Muslims? (al-islam.org)

And Allah knows best.

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Bismihi ta'ala

As important as your husband's career may be, it cannot be more important than obeying Almighty God or having children. I am sure he is somehow able to adjust his working schedule during the holy month to be able to see you, and try to work around your ovulation time. He can get some time off work during the night, for whatever reason, even if it's unpaid leave. 

However, you must both know that it will be haram and sinful for him or you to break your fast for this purpose, and the worst case scenario is for him is to either take a night off, or wait until after the ending of the holy month. 

You are certainly a noble believer, and hence you ask this question, but if you break your fast for such an invalid reason, this guilt will always be with you, so it is always best to abide by the shar'i requirements and always have hope in Allah ta'ala who will accommodate for all our needs, all in due time.

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

Your father's brother's son or grandson are non Mahram for you and marriage between you and him is permissible.

'Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

If her father is non Muslim and she is a Muslim, then no authority for her non Muslim father on her and she will be able to decide her marriage with suitable believer.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

Yes it is allowed to get married during the month of Shawwaal. We don't have any date when marriage is forbidden except the days of the tragedy of Ahlul Bayt (AS) when the Momin should avoid celebrating.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If your husband pursues extra-marital affairs, either in the halal way (mut'ah or seeking a second wife), then you have the choice of either staying with him, or getting divorced from him. 

Of course, such issues must be directly addressed, and his and your family be involved as well. 

Your husband might be going through a phase, and needs a wakeup call for him to return back and focus on his marriage. If so, forgive him, and try to strengthen the relationship.

However, if after intervention he still pursues the new relationship, then you decide what you wish to do. To divorce him, or continue to live with him. Just know that you are not obliged to live under such circumstances. 

Also, this short clip could be of benefit as well:

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

Yes it is permissible to delay legal registration of marriage for legal requirements although real marriage is the Islamic marriage and all the rights and duties start from the Islamic marriage.

Civil marriage after Islamic marriage has no value as far as Islamic rules are concerned. It just confirms the marriage in front of the government offices.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

It is not allowed at all to force a girl or boy to marry someone whom they don't want, and forced marriage is invalid in Islam.

Wassalam.