Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 hours ago

Nothing wrong in wishing to work as a doctor especially when thousands of our females need female doctors to treat them. Even if you get married after medical graduation, you can work as a doctor and there is no contradiction between marriage and working as far as you organise it with your husband.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Knowledge precedes everything, especially if it is Ilahi knowledge, studying about your religion and learning the 'Ulum of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). 

Studying Hawzah is free of charge, and if for whatever reason a certain institute that offers Hawzah studies charge a fee, they are usually a bare minimum which any person would generally be able to pay.

Should your plan be to travel to Qom or Najaf to study Hawzah, you will only need to pay for the air ticket, and basic expenses to establish yourself there. The Hawzah will then give you some monthly wages. 

This could eat into your budget you have allocated for marriage, but if you have become acquainted with Islam, you will know that the process of getting married should also be cheap and reasonable. By avoiding excessive things, you will also be able to get happily married.

Therefore, I do not see any of the two to be an obstacle, or affect the other, as long as you are making the correct choices. You do not have to choose one over the other, but rather pursue both at once.

With your tawakkul on Allah ta'ala, and sincere intentions, and dua, you will successfully accomplish both, in shaa Allah.

With prayers for your success.

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

It isn't wajib for one's parents to live with them. Yes, one can live with the in-laws however in many cases it has caused issues in marriages. It is your right upon your husband to have a comfortable home and your own privacy. Yes, he can perhaps get his mother to move closer if he wants to have a good relationship with her but it wouldn't be recommend for her to move in if this would cause you discomfort. This should be voiced to your husband that it isn't obliged for you to accept this if it may cause issues. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If you wish to marry someone, and you know they have experienced an unfortunate traumatic event, then you must be equipped with dealing with whatever situation or issue that arises. 

It would not be fair for you, or for her, that you are deprived of your sexual needs, and also unfair that you have some kind of "trial" with her before committing to marriage. 

If your question is a fiqhi question, should you and her meet the requirements of having a legitimate temporary marriage contract, then it would be valid for you to do so, but it would not solve the main issue for the future. 

Most important is understanding how to deal and interact with someone who has gone through a trauma and how it could affect the marital relationship, and whether or not both of you are able to handle it. 

This young lady you want to marry deserves to be treated right and fair, and not pressured into anything, and her situation must be observed. God forbid, you do not want to aggravate her trauma or make her issues worse. 

I would advice seeking guidance in getting professional counselling, for both of you, prior to making any decision, as long as you are genuine in wanting to marry her and will patiently assist her, not further harming her or making her life any more difficult. 

With prayers for your success

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

No, being separated for numerous years does not nullify the marriage, so in your case you are still considered husband and wife, until the Islamic divorce is conducted. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 month ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

A non-virgin woman who is divorced doesn't need a wali's permission to marry again but may do so out of respect. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 month ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Either way is permissible as long as one doesn't do so in a non-Islamic way. One could for example message a sister directly and ask her to speak to her family. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

If you need to get married to save yourself from sinful acts or temptations , you should try every thing possible to get married. Your parents should be told about your need either directly by you (very politely), or by persons whom they respect and trust from your family or friends.

Temporary marriage is another way to save yourself from sinning but you should be sure that it is according to the rules of Sharia. Permission of your parents is not compulsory if you are a male. 

Meanwhile, it is advised to fast as many days as you can as it is mentioned in the Prophetic advice for the unmarried youth as a protection from sexual temptations.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

No. The main condition for a man to have more than one wife is the practical justice between them. Those men who are unable to have and keep this condition are not allowed but one wife.

'Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 months ago

It is mentioned in La'ali al-Akhbar (vol 3, p 413) and attributed to Imam al-Baqir (A) that the angel Jibra'il told the Prophet (S) that the planet Venus (the evening star) would descend on Friday night on the house of the person whom Fatima (A) should marry. The people waited to see who it was, and it was the house of Ali (A).

This narration is provided as part of the explanation of the origins of the tasbih of Fatima al-Zahra (A).

I am personally not aware of any chain of narration for this and therefore, without a chain of narration, it would not be classified as authentic.

Allah knows best.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 months ago

It is not required to have a shaykh to perform an Islamic marriage ('aqd, nikah). 

However, in most cultures, a religious, spiritual, or community leader customarily performs a marriage. This lends a certain sanctity to it, and also gives it a social and communal recognition and situates it into the tapestry of the community, moving it from merely a private relationship to a communal one.

It also adds an extra security or safety network in case there are, later, questions or difficulties about the marriage. 

In my observation, Islamic marriages which are conducted privately by the bride and groom, or informally (say, by the bride and groom's friend) and which are done outside of a social structure often do not seem to have the longevity of marriages which are done by a third party who is recognized by the community.  Or, sometimes there is something about the situation that is not quite right. 

Exceptions  apply of course. This is not a matter of halal or haram, merely an observation.

If one is planning to get married without a shaykh or religious leader involved, a good question is why - is there a genuine reason why this is being done, and is all well? Or is there something not quite right about the situation that they don't want someone to know about, that might later resurface and cause problems in the marriage? 

Just some thoughts. Wishing everyone the best in their marriage life!

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 months ago

Engagement is declaring the intention of marriage between a man and a woman who both are agreeable. Virgin girl marriage requires her father's approval or approval from her paternal grand father. It is the first step leading to Islamic contract of marriage which is called A'qd in Arabic or Nikah in Urdu. Agreement in engagement by itself does have any effect on man ir woman as far as rules of Mahram and non Mahram are concerned. Both remain non Mahram and must apply rules of full Hijab, until the A'qd or Nikah is recited between them. Engagement does put on man to spend on the engaged woman, nor puts on the woman any obligations or duty of married wife. Breaking the engagement remains in the hands of any of them if they found that they can not continue with it. Engagement can be terminated by both or by any one from them and it does not need any recitation like Talaq, nor any Mahr is to be paid after termination of engagement. Engagement does not make the woman a Mahram to the father of the man, nor man become a Mahram to her mother.

Some persons think that after the engagement they are allowed to shake hands or talk intimately or go out together for shopping or dining etc. This is wrong and sinful because there is no A'qd yet.

'We read in our history the engagement was immediately followed by reciting the A'qd or Nikah with no gap. If there a gap of time, both man and woman need to wait and control over themselves till A'qd or Nikah is properly recited.

Wassalam.