Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 6 days ago

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I just wanted to add that even in this day and age when we think we control everything with technology, life and death are still in the hands of Allah. I have known several men and women who thought they were infertile (or even had surgery to prevent children) who later had children. Similarly, some people who are fertile never have children.

So unless there is an obvious genetic or anatomical reason why it is wholly impossible for you to father children, sometimes the possibility exists.

Of course you know your situation best, and perhaps it is not relevant to your specific situation. I just thought I would put it out there in general - there are no guarantees - although sometimes we can get a good idea of the probability of something happening, and it makes sense for someone who has a strong interest in having children to maximize the probability of it happening.

 

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

You should be very honest, frank and clear with her about such matter if you are medically proven unable to have children. Honesty is more important than a deal of marriage with out informing the girl about an issue which is usually crucial for every girl who accepts marriage with a hope to be a mother in the future. Keeping her in dark is not acceptable at all. If you tell her the truth and she accepts it, then it is good and she can not complain in the future that you cheated her.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 6 days ago

 Bismihi ta'ala

At first, we must understand the practice of istikharah, when/how/where and why it is done. If we do not correctly understand the purpose and usage of istikharah, we will face problems. 

Marriage itself and pursuing a case for marriage is not something that should be dependent on istikharah. If you take the correct avenues, with having family and elders involved, and investigating and asking about the life and behaviour of the prospect spouse, then you are going to reach a conclusion. 

If you have prioritised the correct requirements for a spouse, in being religious, and in having high akhlaq standards, then the investigation and consulting with others will give you your answer. There would be no need to resort to istikharah

Istikharah would only be applicable if after everything you are still two-minded, and you need to seek divine intervention. 

In any case, it is not haram to go against an istikharah. Of course, it's certainly better to not disregard the answer given to you by istikharah, or why else did you turn to do it in the first place. 

If you did an istikharah, and it turned out against what you deeply wanted, and you wish to pursue it, then pay some sadaqah, allow some time to pass, change the circumstances, and then decide whether you wish to pursue it, or do another istikharah.

Always bear in mind that just because istikharah came out good, does not mean your marriage will last. You still need to be all your effort in keeping a marriage, and maybe it is God's fate for you to go through whatever is destined for you. That's why the best thing is always to make sure your spouse selection is based on the solid criteria recommended by Islam. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. If there is an aspect in which your intention for the istekhara has changed you can take another istekhara with that modified intention.

May you always be successful 

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. Not having a fully worked out life plan worked out is not the same as lacking confidence in God that you will succeed. If your future spouse is happy with your stage in working things out then there is no problem in getting married.

May you always be successful 

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If he understands and accepts following Ahlul Bayt (AS) just like all the followers of Ahlul Bayt (AS), and you are sure that he will not leave the faith, then you can go ahead with your marriage plans with him, but if you or him are not sure then you should avoid such idea which can endanger your future.
Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

That is very good that you come from a religious family, and as a religious person you know what your obligations are. 

In our Shi'i fiqh, it is permissible to marry anyone from other Islamic sects, as long as you are free to keep your Shi'i identity and uphold your Shi'i practices. You do not necessarily need to convert him to becoming a Shi'i, as this is something that comes from within. 

It is his choice, if he is interested in learning about Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), and following the Imams (a.s.), or not, as long as he does not harbour hatred to the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.). 

Something that you must keep in mind is his surroundings, and those influencing him. In some cases, the husband/wife might be neutral, or compliant, but then get negatively influenced by an extremist, or a Wahhabi, or a takfiri, and then this starts to have an impact on the marriage. 

In early stages of life, he/she might not be that religious, but then after a while, they start to pick up on things, and condemn you for praying on soil, or mourning Imam Husain (a.s.), or wanting to go to Ziyarah, and so on. 

This does happen, and so it is very important that both sides clarify everything and make sure there will be no sort of mistreatment based on sect. 

Another thing that you must think of is because you are "in love", it might cloud your judgment as to whether you are making the right decision. 

It is absolutely necessary that you consult with your parents, and also discuss things with your elders and family members, to make sure you have their consent, and also the decision you are making is the right decision. This should always be the case, whether the prospect spouse be Sunni, or Shi'i, or anything else. 

So, if he has the positive requirements of a husband, and he meets all the conditions, along with your family's approval, then discuss that's a very good thing. 

You can discuss topics related to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), but it has to be his decision from within himself if he has the interest and wishes to learn more, or not. That must be his choice, and not something imposed on him. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Being separate from each other for a short or long time does not nullify the marriage. In the rulings related to marriage, a husband is not allowed to travel or be away from his wife for more than 4 months. In the case that he does, and the wife does not approve of it, he is sinning and if she does not approve, it will be grounds for divorce. 

So, if the husband abandons for more than 4 months, he is committing a sin and that is haram, unless the wife approves, or he has a valid excuse, or the husband had stipulated this in the marriage contract. 

But, in any case, the Nikah will still be valid, and it will not automatically become nullified, even if years pass. 

However, if the wife give consent, and approve of being distant from each other, then that is permissible and allowed. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Getting married should be completely independent on getting graduated or having a permanent job. As long as you are mature enough to take on the important responsibility of marriage, and stay committed to the relationship, regardless of the circumstances, then get married.  

Allah ta'ala is al-Razzāq, and by fulfilling half of your religion and pursuing marriage, many doors of barakah will open for you. Have tawakkul on God, and plan towards your marriage, and leave the rest for Him. 

You could have the most stable of jobs, and be married as well, and then it all falls apart. What will you do? If we have less expectations, and spend less on meaningless wedding ceremonies, and focus more on building a relationship, we would be successful in our marriages even if we were the poorest of people. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 weeks ago

Predestined matters are things which human beings have no option at all in it e.g. your parents, your place of birth, your skin color, your height etc. 

Marriage is not predestined because it must have your own option and approval not be valid. Man and woman choose and decide whom they marry and accordingly they meet the results of their own decision.

You can pray to Allah (SWT) to make a specific person good for being your spouse. Allah (SWT) knows everything including the unseen and the future, and He grants whatever is good according to the reality and not necessarily as we think and imagine. Many things we wish and seek from Allah, can be harmful in the future, that is we should always submit to the Will, Wisdom and Mercy of Allah in seeking from Him. We should seek from Him to grant us whatever He knows good for us, not what we think good.

Wassalam

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 weeks ago

Yes as far as they are Muslims.
Muslim sinner , no matter what type of sins, inherits from his Muslim parents. Non Muslim is not allowed to inherit from Muslim.

Wassalam..

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 weeks ago

Man does not need his parents permission for marriage, however, he needs to avoid hurting them or making them feel disrespected.

If you need to get married to save yourself from falling in sinful acts, you should go ahead and get married with a suitable believer female.

Wassalam.