Marriage

Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity.

64246

You do not need permission from any one for such operation, but you need to be sure that it is reversible vasectomy.

Wassalam.

64202

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

Yes, it is permissible if there is compatibility in Fath and Akhlaq.

Wassalam.

64162

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

Being together with out any type of marriage whether permanent or temporary is sinful act. You both can recite a temporary marriage agreement if the father of the girl agrees that you be together. This temporary marriage can be recited between you with out publicity if her father does not object, and will save you both from falling in sinful acts. When you both get elder, then you can go for permanent marriage (Nikah) though you are now not too young for marriage as your parents think.

Wassalam.

63446

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

If the virgin Muslim girl does not know her father or has no way to know
about him to seek his permission for her marriage, then she will be
allowed to get married to a suitable Mo’min who is compatible to her.

Wassalam.

63785

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

You need to keep the respect of your grand parents in every possible way, provided that your marriage choice is according to Islamic teachings. The objection of your grand parents does not invalidate the marriage if there is no valid reason for their objection.

Wassalam.

63588

Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 2 weeks ago

Your male friend asking you to marry him and you saying 'yes' sounds like the proper phrasing for marriage has not been done, since it consists of the woman proposing to the man, saying 'zawwajtuka nafsi 'ala sidaq al-ma'lum', meaning 'I marry myself to you with an agreed mahr'. The man then says 'qabiltu al-tazwij 'ala sidaq al-ma'lum', meaning 'I accept the marriage with the agreed mahr'. Prior to this, you should have both agreed what mahr [marriage gift] he should give you. According to Wikishia: "The Marriage formula should be recited in correct manner. If even one letter is changed in the formula which changes the meaning, the contract will be void."

If this has been fulfilled, then your marriage would technically be valid, but a word should be said about the issue of 'technically fulfilling the law' while not fulfilling its spirit. Marriages can often be contracted that do not in practice honour the respect of either party. Being technically married Islamically does not guarantee that the situation itself supports that respect. It is wise to be wary of being exploited or manipulated, or coerced into a situation that is not beneficial or appropriate for you in the long term. Being asked over the phone raises doubts about whether you are being given the proper respect, even if it were a long distance proposal.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 3 weeks ago

Possibly. Reciting nikah over the phone with the intention to conduct a marriage in and of itself is valid, insofar as it is done properly and seriously and there are no factors that would invalidate the marriage. In Shi'i law, witnesses are not required to solemnize a marriage. 

However, there are a lot of questions here. Were you both serious about marrying each other, or was it just a sort of joke? Were you able to understand what he said and confirm that he actually recited the marriage formula on your behalf correctly? (If you don't speak Arabic, or if he was mumbling, for all you know he could have been reciting a grocery list.) Was it a first marriage for you, which would generally require the consent of your father or grandfather? What about serious matters, such as mahr and maintenance? Do you even want to be bound to him, or are you trying to find a way out of this? 

Might I suggest that this wasn't the best plan. Given that there are so many uncertainties, it would be good to ask a specialist in Islamic law (such as a local alim) to intervene and sort it out. 

In the future, might I suggest that if you want to contract an Islamic marriage on the spur of the moment over the phone, it might be wiser to stick with temporary marriage, which leaves you with far fewer complications. 

63448

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 3 weeks ago

People approach relationships in different ways. Often, we replicate what we saw growing up. Perhaps, he grew up in an environment where emotional manipulation was how people interacted with each other. Some people are also just like that in terms of personality. It doesn't necessarily mean he does not love you, it could just be that this is the only way he knows how to interact with people. 

My experience is that the best way to deal with emotional games, emotional manipulation, and emotional blackmail is just to take a deep breath, distance one's self slightly, and call it out for what it is (either internally or in conversation). It is also helpful to separate the issues (again, either internally or in conversation) and say that taking a second wife is a different issue from whatever you are disagreeing about, and if he is serious about taking a second wife, it is a big decision and you should talk about it at some other time when no one is upset. Then, refuse to play the emotional games and deal with the issue at hand. I know this is easier said than done, this is just my experience!

Most likely, if you do not react emotionally to the threat of taking a second wife, he will stop making it. This is unless he is genuinely serious about taking a second wife, at which time you should still discuss it at a time when everyone is calmer. 

There is also the possibility that he already has a second wife and, rather than being a brave manly man and telling you directly, he is looking for a way to make it seem like it is your fault and drop it on you. I don't think this is the case here and I certainly don't want to make you paranoid or suspicious, but I just thought I'd put it out there! 
 

63421

Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answered 3 weeks ago

as salam alaikum

there is no relation between a Sayyid girl marrying a non-Sayyid man and the sadaqah that is not allowed on Sayyids. So it doesn't make any difference that a Sayyid girl is from the progeny of Muhammad, peace be upon him and his family, in this regard. In Islam, Muslims are encouraged to marry a pious and religious people, committed to the Din in order to please Allah Almighty, be they Sayyids or not.

With prayers for your success.

53884

Vinay Khetia, Shaikh Vinay Khetia has studied at various traditional Islamic seminaries in London, Iraq and Syria. He has an undergraduate degree in Religious and Near Eastern Studies from the University of... Answered 1 month ago

Salaamun Alaykum,

Bismihi Ta'ala

Thoughts in and of themselves are not sins. But they however can easily lead to sin. The idea of thought control is very important in Islam and it begins with being attuned to our ideas and the images , sounds, and casual mixed gender interactions that effect our heart-whether it be in real life or online/social media.

For example if someone was to see an image that was sexually exciting that can lead him or her to have certain thoughts or imaginations of for example committing adultery or obsessing over another man or woman which in could  effect harmony of the marriage. We should pay close attention to our daily salaat, give in charity, read Qur'an/Du'a, and try our level best to control our glances. Also and perhaps most importantly, beseech Allah in du'a swt for his divine assistance ins seeking refuge from Shaytan and Satanic whispers while attempting to root out the causes of impure thoughts as mentioned in the question. Thus it requires a deeper investigation into the self to understand what triggers such ideas.

wa Allahu al-'Alim

wa salaam

Sh.Vinay

62304

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

Witnessing the marriage is recommended but not compulsory, but if the girl is virgin,her father or paternal grand father must permit or approve the marriage.

Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In our Shi'ah fiqh, it is not obligatory nor a condition for there to be any witnesses during a marriage contract.

However, it is advisable and recommended for marriage to be conducted in the presence of others, and for the Nikah to be publicised and announced. 

And Allah knows best.