Family

77035

I have recently realized that I have anger issues and am always losing my temper with my family. How should I act when I am in the heat of anger and pain? How can I avoid getting angry in the first place?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 weeks ago

This is a big question - many people have challenges in their personalities or temperaments that are long-term projects to work on. However, here is something that you could consider and see if it has any helpful advice ("Imam Ali and Islamic Anger Management by Shaykh Mohamed Ali Ismail")

(I recall he did a workshop some years ago at an Islamic event on practical tips for anger management but I don't know if it is available online; you could try to find it)

Also if you haven't already, you could look through books such as this: https://www.al-islam.org/jami-al-saadat-collector-felicities-muhammad-mahdi-naraqi

73141

Family . God (Allah) . Dunya

On what basis does Allah decide that some people be born in a Muslim or non-Muslim family? Did we earn what we are now in another world before this one?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 2 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. The ultimate wisdom behind God's actions is unknown and simply being born into a non-Muslim family does not mean that a person is unduly disadvantaged, because God judgement of people is not linear. His Justice will prevail and be accorded to people according to their situations and what He has blessed them with. He does what is in the best interest of His servants and it is His creation that is unjust to their loving all-Merciful Creator. There are some traditions to indicate that there was a level of test prior to our creation in this world and that determined certain variables in this world. But ultimately the capacity of each creature is known by God, so even if these traditions are not accepted, the issue of who is born into what family, at what time, and all the other innumerable factors surrounding an individual's existence all come back to the Knowledge and Wisdom of God.

May you always be successful.

69699

Sexual . Knowledge . Family

Can a Muslim discuss anything regarding sexual knowledge with his family members and relatives?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 months ago

Yes of course. It is good to discuss such matters with trusted person like your family members because they will guide you to the right facts and try to protect you from misleading information.

We should encourage our young ones to be more frank with their trusted family members in such matters.

Wassalam.

65269

Family . Akhlaq

If a person harms me and my family through her behaviour and yet prays five times a day is she to be considered a good Muslim?

Real Muslim is the person who believes in Islam and behaves in peaceful way with people (المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده))

Every Muslim is required to practice Islamic teachings in his life especially when dealing with people. Those Muslims who do not practice fairness and justice with others are blames in Quran ( O, Those who believed, why do you say what you do not practice? (Sura Al-Saff, Verse 2).

As being nice to people is one of the best deeds in Islam, being bad and harming people is very bad and it can lead tp punishment in this life and hereafter. When harming an animal is forbidden in Islam (e.g. The Hadeeth about a Muslim woman who will be in hellfire because she tortured a cat), so what about harming a human being?

No one from us can judge who is good Muslim and who is not as Allah (SWT) knows what all creatures did and ae doing and will be doing in the future and He judges who is good and who is not. But Allah (SWT) said clearly (The most honorable of you with Allah is the most practicing Taqwa (piousness). Sura Al-Hujuraat, verse 13.

Those who pray and fast and worship Allah (SWT) but misbehave and harm others will loose their worship reward to their victims, and might be forced to take the sins of their victims.

The Hadeeth says ( Best of people are those who benefit people) and another Hadeeth says (Worst of people are those who harm people).

This shows that the spirit of Islam is to be good to others.

Wassalam.

Family . Akhlaq

If a person harms me and my family through her behaviour and yet prays five times a day is she to be considered a good Muslim?

There is really no such thing as a "good Muslim" and a "bad Muslim", these are labels we have invented. A person is a Muslim if they profess the shahadatayn. However, a Muslim will be judged in the next life like anyone else and a person who has harmful behaviour or bad ethics will be held responsible for that.

There are a number of hadith saying not to look at someone's outward signs of religiosity (such as praying or fasting) to judge their character but rather to look at how they act with other people. This is because acts of worship can become habitual, be feigned, done with a dead heart, done out of custom or to please one's family or community, etc.

However, acts of worship are there for a reason, and can elevate a person; whereas leaving them aside can make them more vulnerable to wrongdoing. Perhaps, inshallah, her prayers will help her become a better person.

64162

Family . Marriage

What should I do if my family won't let me marry a guy for at least a year because we are too young, 17 and 21, even though they have accepted us both to be together?

Being together with out any type of marriage whether permanent or temporary is sinful act. You both can recite a temporary marriage agreement if the father of the girl agrees that you be together. This temporary marriage can be recited between you with out publicity if her father does not object, and will save you both from falling in sinful acts. When you both get elder, then you can go for permanent marriage (Nikah) though you are now not too young for marriage as your parents think.

Wassalam.

63687

Zakat . Family . Poor

Is it counted as Zakat if we helped a family member who had financial problems or was poor?

Yes, it is allowed to help any family member from Zakat if he is: 1) Really poor.

2) Abiding to Islamic rules.

3) He should not be a parent or a spouse or a sibling, because it is compulsory to look after the needs of your parents and spouse and siblings from your own money not from Zakat or Khums.

You don't need to inform him if he is entitled to Zakat that it is from Zakat.

It is highly recommended to help the needy relatives as the Hadeeth says: There is no charity when a relative is in need. لا صدقة وذو رحم محتاج.

Wassalam.

62794

Islam . Family . Dog . Pet . Conversion to Islam

I am 13 years old and I converted to Islam when I was 12. What should I do if my family has a dog as a pet?

According to Islam, it is not ideal to have a pet dog, and it is better in terms of Islamic etiquette not to have a dog in the house, but it is not forbidden to have one.

However, if you have a dog in the house, you should be sure to observe Islamic rules of cleanliness for prayer. For instance, before praying salat, wash any area of yourself that the dog might have been licking or if the dog came into contact you while it was wet. When praying salat, avoid praying directly on the floor and instead pray on top of something (like a prayer rug or, if you do not have one, a towel or mat or something similar), and put it away when you are not using it so the dog cannot get to it. Also, be sure your clothes do not have dog hair on them and have not been licked by the dog or touched by a wet dog; if your dog is very affectionate, you may wish to have a separate pair of clothes that you only wear for salat (if this is possible). Also, if your family is very casual about dishes and where the dog goes, be sure the dishes you use have not been, ahem, slobbered on, licked, etc. (Some people are very strict about these things and some people are casual, that is why I am mentioning it)

Yes, this is inconvenient, which is one of the reasons it is better not to have a dog in the house! But you can still practice Islam and all aspects of Islam with or without a dog present.

62847

Woman . Home . Family . Employment

Can a woman work outside of her home for the welfare of the community and humanity such as in the role of a teacher, engineer, doctor, or lawyer? Or does she have to only live for her family and husband?

Muslim woman is not only allowed but also been encouraged to serve the community in every possible field , obviously with observing full Hijab. Pious ladies like Lady Fatimah, Lady Zainab , Lady Khadija hare best examples.

Wassalam.

62635

Family . Christians . Wife . Conversion to Islam

I am married to a Muslim convert whose father is an atheist and the rest of the family are non-practicing Christians who try to influence my wife. To what extent should I keep a relationship with them?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 6 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

You have a great responsibility on your shoulders, in not only honouring your revert wife in the best way you can, but also showing the highest standards of Islamic Akhlaq to your in-laws. You represent Islam, and they see Islam through you. Even though they might be atheists, or followers of a religion, for you it is of utmost importance to conduct yourself in the best way possible.

Your wife also has an important duty in trying to maintain the relationship between the two families as civil as possible. Along with her studying about religion and deepening her understanding of Islam, she can also engage in polite and productive discussions with them.

When she does this, there will be no concern from your side that she is being negatively influenced. If she is strong enough in her faith, then even if a discussion becomes heated, it will not effect her.

Yes, it might be frustrating from your side, and all you want to do is just socialise with your in-laws, but they bring up topics that might aggravate you.

The extent of the relationship is that you honour them, as your in-laws, and that you avoid arguments or anything that would tension things between you and them.

You should maintain patience, and think of the bigger responsibility you have. Always do dua for them, and pray for their hidayah.

With prayers for your success.

62392

Cat . Death . Family

My cat died a sudden death and someone suggested this may have averted some calamity for my family. Is this idea supported in the Qur'an or Hadith?

I am sorry to hear about your loss.

It is narrated that the Prophet (S) said: “Keep many domestic animals (al-dawajin) in your houses so that the shayatin (demons) are occupied with them instead of with your children.” (See Tibb al-A'immah)

I think there is some truth to this.

Of course, maybe your cat just died and there was no other reason for it. The lifespan of animals is also in the hands of Allah, and this life is transitory for all of us.

At least you got to enjoy some time together, and one thing I have always admired about animals is that they handle death with grace and acceptance.

With salaams and du'as

60845

Sunni . Family . Death . Ghusl . Shi'a

I am the only Shiah male in my Sunni family. In the event of my death, will their act of Ghusl and Kafan for me be considered correct and sufficient?

Yes, the Ghusl and Kafan of any Muslim is considered as sufficient.

Wassalam.