Family

105020

Is it required in Islam that I stay with my husband's family?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 week ago

Bismillah,

Asalamu Alaykom,

If you mean by 'stay' to live with your husband's family then no, this isn't required. In fact it is obligatory upon the husband to provide a suitable accommodation for his wife in order for her to feel safe and comfortable.

Living with in-laws can be an option for the newly married couple who have just gotten on their feet, however it has been shown many times that that long term living with in-laws can cause many problems as well as a lack of privacy for the couple. Therefore it is recommended that the couple try to eventually find their own place.

May Allah grant you success

105412

Family . God (Allah)

How can we respond to a non-Muslim who says that the family we get born in is not in our control, and so had Allah wished him to be a Muslim he would have placed him in a Muslim household?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 1 week ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. While it is true that there are some things out of our control, the choice to believe is within our control. Being born in a Muslim family or not is not the sole determining factor in the attainment of belief. If that was the case the early Arabs who were mainly born into polytheistic households would not have converted to Islam. Similarly, there would be no hypocrites or apostates from Muslim families, if the family you are born in is the sole determinant. Rather, God has given each individual the intellect and intuition to find the correct path, no matter what situation they start with. And everyone is rewarded according to their effort.

May you always be successful

105498

Narrations . Wealth . Saving . Family . Children . Death

We see through different narrations that encourage us to give away our wealth during our lifetime rather than saving it up. How much wealth should we save for our family and children for when we die?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

We Beed to look after selves as well as our family and children. We need good deeds for our future as much as we can. We also should for our family and children Whatever they need to have a respectable livelihood till they are able to earn for themselves. Obviously, we believe that Allah (SWT) will never leave them as He never left us.

Wassalam.

105759

Family . Clothing . Death . Sadaqa (Charity)

Should the clothes of the deceased be given to charity or can they be kept and used by the family?

It can be kep and used by the family or friends or given to charity if the inheritors want to give it to charity. It is owned by the inheritors and they can donate or gift or use it.

Wassalam.

105742

Girl . Family . Marriage

As a girl who wants to get married I am not getting any proposals presumably because I am not good looking. I keep getting hurt as my family keeps passing sarcastic remarks about my inability to find a suitor. What should I do?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In regards to marriage and having a befitting suitor proposing to you, this is something that will hopefully happen in the right time and by the right person. All you need to do is keep with your dua, positivity, patience and good principles and standards.

We have so many ahadith that condemn people who go after looks in marriage, or wealth. You do not want a shallow person who's understanding of life is just outer appearance of people. If you have high akhlaq and you are a person of values and you are religious, then they are missing out, not you.

As for your family members, I am sure they are not serious with these comments, and you should not take things to heart. Do not let sarcasm or negative comments affect you or get under your skin. Brush them off, and smile or laugh back. The less you react to their comments, the less they will say these kind of things that could hurt you.

Try speaking to somebody you trust, who could also have a serious conversation with your family about these comments.

In shaa Allah my fellow colleagues will also have some advice for you as well.

With prayers for your success.

103532

Husband . Family

Can I stop speaking to my husband's side of the family, his mum and sisters, if I feel they do not have good intentions towards me?

No. Islam does not allow stopping speaking with any Muslim whom you know more than three days, leave alone your husband's relatives. Stopping speaking to them can hurt the feelings of your husband and this is a Haraam (sinful act).

Wassalam.

100539

Family . Marriage

If a family of a girl, after her strong and firm opposition to being married against her will, makes her accept the marriage under their influence, will that marriage be considered valid?

Bismihi ta'ala

It is indeed very sad and also scary that in this day and age we still have such things happening.

Her family cannot in anyway for her to accept to get married with someone she does not want to marry. In my opinion this abusive, cruel and evil.

From a shar'i perspective, the marriage is batil and has no validity.

And Allah knows best.

100549

Family . Conversion to Islam . Salah (Prayers)

I am a revert and I do not want my family members to know that I am praying. Will my prayers still be valid if I recite everything in Salat quietly including the Bismilla?

Bismihi ta'ala

Numerous reverts I have interacted with did face similar issues, where they feared backlash, and had to conceal their Islam. They would pray in secret, and so on.

In answering your question, in your circumstances, your prayer will indeed be valid.

What I would like to recommend is that you correspond with other fellow reverts from your same background, and find feasable ways in how you are able to overcome some of the struggles and difficulties you might be facing.

May the Almighty give you strength, and bless you for your accomplishments.

97812

Wife . Family . Dog . Home

Is it allowed to let my wife's family visit us with their dog as they cannot leave it behind alone in their home?

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. The impurity that transfers from a dog needs to be purified from your clothes and place of prayer before you pray. The presence of a dog in itself is not a problem from a jurisprudential perspective. Perhaps you can confine it in an area in your house which you can purify afterwards if there are any places that you are sure impurities have transferred.

May you always be successful

96168

Love . Parents . Family . Meaning . God (Allah) . Friendship

What does it mean to be in love with Allah? Can the love of Allah be understood in the same way as being in love with our parents or friends or family? And how can one fall in love with Allah?

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. To love Allah is to prefer Him to all else in your life and to be attached to him more than your attachment to other things. Love is a connection that matters to you and as such the love of God can be compared to other types of love. Indeed, Allah compares His love to other types of love in the Qur'an (see 9:24 for example). We are naturally in love with God, but that is sometimes confused by our attachments to other types of love. To develop the love of God, some sacrifice is required. The ordinances of our religion help develop that love and among those ordinances is reflecting on the bounties that Allah has bestowed on us, both continually and at various points in our life. It is natural to love those who are good to us, then what about He who is the source of every good in our lives?

May you always be successful

94625

Wife . Family . Responsibility . Salah (Prayers) . God (Allah)

My wife hasn't prayed for the last 5 years. When I ask her, she and her family tell me that this is not my responsibility and it is between her and Allah. How should I deal with this situation?

Mateen Charbonneau, Sheikh Mateen Joshua Charbonneau achieved a certificate from Harvard University in Islamic Studies. He undertook Howza classes under esteemed scholars since 2013 and has been teaching at Imam Mahdi... Answered 8 months ago

You should not abandon hope for her. Continue to encourage her, while not being forceful or pushy. Pray where she sees you and perhaps she will feel remorse that she is not praying.

A scholar in Najaf told me about being persistent, "I remember there was one of the youth who followed my father in taqlid and at some point he became a communist and left Islam. My father would pass by this youths shop on his way to salat everyday. My father would always say salam to the youth, but the young man would ignore him and never reply. My father kept saying salam to him everyday for one year then the youth finally replied to his salam and ended up repenting and coming back to Islam."

91115

Family . Wedding . Sunni-Shi'a

I am a Shia convert in my family and they are celebrating a wedding on 28th Safar, the death anniversary of RasoolAllah (S). What should I do in this situation?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 9 months ago

You have the choice to go to the wedding or to not go to the wedding. It is not required to observe days of mourning for days of wafat or shahadat (death/martyrdom), it is only recommended. Weddings are also optional.

In my view, if you have a good relationship with your family, or if you will regret missing the wedding, then you should go. Allah knows that your intention in your heart is not to disrespect the Prophet (S) and to maintain family ties, and maintaining family ties is also good. The Prophet (S) was compassionate and merciful and would be unlikely to criticise you for this!

However, you also have the choice not to go, and it isn't necessary to go.

This is as long as it doesn't involve disrespect to the religion. Most Muslims don't know that the 28th Safar is the death anniversary of the Prophet (S), and don't commemorate this, so they aren't intentionally being disrespectful when they schedule a wedding. However, for instance, if someone schedules a wedding on Ashura, and they know some Muslims commemorate Ashura, then maybe attending the wedding would convey disrespect to Ashura or give them the idea that you don't take your faith seriously.

The biggest emphasis in our tradition is on avoiding celebrations on Ashura. It is also good to avoid celebrations on other sad days, but the biggest emphasis is on Ashura.

There are a lot of shahadat/wafat days that are commemorated, so, sometimes, in an environment where not everyone shares the same religious traditions, it can be difficult to observe all of them!