Girl

A girl is a young female, usually human, usually a child or an adolescent. When she becomes an adult, she is described as a woman. The term girl may also be used to mean a young woman, and is sometimes used as a synonym for daughter.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

The statement "emotionally unstable" is very broad, and so it could be difficult to say whether it needs to be disclosed prior to a marriage proposal or not. 

If she has a chronic illness that would affect her spousal relationship, and impede in what people would see to be a healthy marriage, then it is best for her to be upfront about everything so she is not left with a broken heart or an early divorce. 

In general, it is always better to be direct and clear about one's mental state of being, and to mention what would be for or against them. 

Everyone is entitled to get married, even if they have certain challenges they are facing, and of course she can get married if she is emotionally unstable, but honesty is always going to work to everyone's advantage. 

Hopefully, with therapy and support of her family and loved ones she can overcome these emotional difficulties, and maybe marriage will secure her mental stability, in shaa Allah.

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Loyalty and honouring one's word is the most valuable and most important of qualities a person can have. If your commitment to your word is weak, or you have no consideration to honouring your promise, what else is there? 

Both the female, and the male as well have a commitment to stay loyal and honour their agreement. Betraying this, and violating the promise or contract given is not only a major sin, but could also weaken the very relationship in the case they wish to pursue for marriage. It will always be hovering over them that they betrayed the amanah given to them. 

Yes, they can do what they are comfortable with, but stay within the permitter of the agreement.

If what you mean by "physical contact", as in no sexual intercourse, then they can have physical intimacy, but no penetration. This is a common condition fathers place, so this is left for consummation of marriage on wedding night. 

If what you mean by "physical contact" is no physical contact whatsoever, then I think this was an unfair condition, and they should speak to her father and explain that this is unrealistic. Or, they can decide if marriage is the best option for them, and hasten that. If, of course, they find each other to be compatible and happy with marriage. 

In any case, violating an agreement, especially if it is a condition in the contract is haram and sinful. 

Best thing to do is negotiate for a change. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If all other shar'i requirements are met, yes, she can marry that man.

The marriage proposal must take its normal procedure, primarily around the parents giving their consent and their blessings. This is the most important part. 

A second important step is to see the character traits of the person, their moral standards, their family, compatibility, etc.

A third step to take is seeking consultation and advice, trying to find out if this prospect marriage is a good idea, and the obstacles they might face. This is necessary for any case of marriage, Muslim born, or convert. 

Both of them should study this from all its angles, for the sake of making the right decision and having a successful marriage. 

With prayers for your success.  

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Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 1 month ago

Are you feeling nervous about committing? Are there any other difficulties that are not being addressed? Are you connecting to her emotionally? Maybe you are subconsciously seeking a connection that you might feel you are not getting in this partnership. You say you are 'satisfied with her deen and akhlaq', which sounds quite official and correct, but maybe there is something you have in your mind that you wish you still had. One way of remaining content is to remind yourself that, even if you were to be with one of the other women you are looking at, you would eventually confront the more challenging demands of marriage and commitment. Then the same subconscious fears would arise and you might once again start looking at other women. If you feel you are lacking an emotional connection with her, then it is good to discuss that with her. Maybe she feels the same and it is something that you can both work on. If you have had a childhood that involves parental conflict or divorce, you may also find it more difficult to connect emotionally. It may be good to seek out some therapy to try to understand what is going on in your mind at a deeper level, or to talk to someone about it. Do not keep silent about it, as it could continue after you get married.

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

It is wrong and harmful to compare what Allah (SWT) has given us with others. Comparing with others can make us less appreciative to the bounty of Allah on us, and even under estimating the bounty and ungrateful to Allah (SWT). Comparing with others make us lose the real taste of the bounty. Prophetic advice to Abu Thar: Never look in worldly matters to those who have more than you, as that can make you disrespect the bounty of Allah on you.

If your fiancée compare you with other men, will you like that?

We need to thank Allah (SWT) for every bounty He granted us and never look at others.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 month ago

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I just wanted to add that even in this day and age when we think we control everything with technology, life and death are still in the hands of Allah. I have known several men and women who thought they were infertile (or even had surgery to prevent children) who later had children. Similarly, some people who are fertile never have children.

So unless there is an obvious genetic or anatomical reason why it is wholly impossible for you to father children, sometimes the possibility exists.

Of course you know your situation best, and perhaps it is not relevant to your specific situation. I just thought I would put it out there in general - there are no guarantees - although sometimes we can get a good idea of the probability of something happening, and it makes sense for someone who has a strong interest in having children to maximize the probability of it happening.

 

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

You should be very honest, frank and clear with her about such matter if you are medically proven unable to have children. Honesty is more important than a deal of marriage with out informing the girl about an issue which is usually crucial for every girl who accepts marriage with a hope to be a mother in the future. Keeping her in dark is not acceptable at all. If you tell her the truth and she accepts it, then it is good and she can not complain in the future that you cheated her.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

Man does not need his parents permission for marriage, however, he needs to avoid hurting them or making them feel disrespected.

If you need to get married to save yourself from falling in sinful acts, you should go ahead and get married with a suitable believer female.

Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Unfortunately, many young adults face this same serious problem of certain parents with a wrong mindset preventing their son/daughter to get married, under the assumption that marriage will hinder their studies, or career prospects. 

We must invite people to adhere to our Islamic recommendations, and keep ourself immune from sin or engaging in illicit or secret relationships.

I would not advice you in any way to secretly get married, behind your parents. This is something that would not be to your benefit. Try to prove to your parents that you are ready for marriage. Show that you are mature, and you have the ability to combine between your college and having a partner. Even if it means your engagement period can be a bit long, but as long as you do not do something haram, or without your family's blessings.

With prayers for your success. 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 months ago

The main underlying purpose behind hijab seems to be discouraging harassment or misconduct from men and encouraging modest interactions. 

When it comes to protecting girls from sexual harassment or indecent conduct from men, I certainly don't think that a girl has to be mature enough to understand things that her parents tell her to do. For instance, parents might tell a child not to wear certain things in public, not to go certain places alone, not to talk to certain people, not to get into a car with a stranger, not to talk to strangers online, etc. 

The parents say these things because the child isn't usually old enough to understand them.

Of course boys should be protected too, but usually there is an extra concern about girls. 

Obviously the hijab does not wholly prevent harassment or misconduct, and it is wrong to say that it does, but since discouraging harassment and encouraging modest interactions seems to be the underlying purpose behind it, this is the angle I am responding from.

There are other things surrounding the hijab such as presenting one's identity as a Muslim. Most children who are nine years old are able to understand that and verbalize it to others (e.g. "I wear hijab because I am Muslim") if they have been raised in a religious family or environment. 

Of course, I understand that hijab can be stressful in a minority situation and there may be things that the child is not yet ready to handle, such as Islamophobia or bullying. This might be a different situation. However, these are more situation-related, not related to the main idea of hijab. 

 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

The fiqhi ruling for this is the same for any wali amr, and she would need the consent of her father, whether he is Muslim or not. This is in the case that she has not been married before and is not completely independent in everything she does (balighah/rashidah). 

And Allah knows best. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 3 months ago

The evidence of age of Bolugh (puberty) has come from the The Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings Be Upon Him and His Holy Progeny) and after him from The Infallible Imams (AS). We have number of most authentic Hadeeths in this regard stating that the girl becomes Baligh when she completes nine Lunar years and the boy becomes Baligh by certain signs on his body and if no signs happen in his body than on completing 15 Lunar years. In Kitab Al-Kaafi Volume-7 Page-198 narration from Imam Mohammad Al-Baqir (A.S.) “The girl when she completes 9 year she does not remain orphan anymore and she can be married and she will be responsible of all the obligatories on her and rights for her. In Kitab Al-Kaafi also Volume-7 Page-197 narration from Hamraan who said that I asked Aba Jafar (A.S.) : When does the boy or the girl becomes responsible?  Imam replied that the girl (becomes responsible) when she completes nine years; she will not remain orphan anymore and she will be responsible for her and on her. 
We have also also many authentic narrations about the age when the marriage is permissible means the sexual relationship between the husband and wife is not permissible until and unless the female completes nine lunar years. In Al-Kaafi narrated by Al-Halabi from Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (A.S.). Also in Al-Kaafi narrated from Zurarah from Imam Abi-Jafar al-Baqir (A.S.). Also in Kitab al-Kaafi another narration from Safwan ibne Yahya in the same meaning that marriage is not permissible to allow sexual intercourse before she completes nine lunar years. The details of the evidence are with those who are experts and every method of Shariath has got lot of details, we cannot take the opinions of the people, but people should always follow the verdict of the Maraaji of Taqleed who usually spend their lives in studying and understanding Quran and Hadeeth and understanding the evidence and coming out with the Islamic rule or verdict according to their research and understanding.
Wassalam.