Children

Biologically, a child (plural: children) is a human being between the stages of birth and puberty, or between the developmental period of infancy and puberty. The legal definition of child generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority.

108991

Wife . Children . Divorce

I understand that Islam forbids any unnecessary contact between a divorced couple. Is it allowed for an ex-wife to be invited to family events in your presence for the sake of the children from the earlier marriage?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

There is no Islamic ruling that forbids contact between an ex husband and wife. Yes, they become non-mahram to each other, but their parent-in-laws do stay mahram to them. This means that although he is divorced, his mother-in-law still stays mahram. And the same for the ex-wife as well.

It would be the best thing for ex-partners to stay civil and have good conduct towards each other. It does not need to be hostile and a battle. The ex might be uncomfortable in the presence of their ex, that is understandable, but it is not forbidden or haram to have common interaction, like between any other non-mahram, along with observing the correct shar'i boundaries as well.

However, if there are children from that relationship, it would be necessary to have a positive and healthy relationship, or at least neutral and not hostile in any way. If there is a certain event that would bring both together, or a family gathering, or something of that kind, then it is absolutely fine to be there. You have a choice of attending, or excusing yourself. Whether you wish to interact or not, that is completely up to you.

It could be the case that there was violence in the relationship, for example, and therefore the ex-wife would not be comfortable at all in being in the same place as the ex-husband.

In any case, to answer your specific question, yes, it is allowed for her to accept the invitation, bearing in mind everything else I have mentioned.

And Allah knows best.

109173

Parents . Children . Disability . Divine Justice

Why does Allah (SWT) bestow on some parents children with a disability? What does it mean for a child who will have this mental handicap throughout their life?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

1. Life includes tests. Different persons have different tests. Having a child with disability is a test for the parents just like other tests for other persons.

2. Those who are born with disability are also been tested but Allah compensates them with great gifts in this life and mainly hereafter.

Wassalam.

109114

Husband . Man . Profanity . Children

My husband, although a good man, uses a lot swear words. I don’t want my kids to be like him. What should I do?

1. Always try to cool him down and never cause him to be angry.

2. Talk to him frankly about the his thoughts on the effect of swear words on your kids.
3. He might need an advice from experts in anger control.

4. His near friends and relatives might be able to advise him on the damaging effect of swear words in the children.

5. Remind him if you feel that he might listen about what the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) said about anger and swear words and the fact that every word from us is recorded on us.

Wassalam.

108763

Love . Wife . Children . Spirituality . Dunya

I have heard that for a spiritual warefarer to cut off the love of the world it includes cutting off the love of one's wife and children. How would one understand this as Imam Ali (as) loved his wife very greatly and he was the epitome of spirituality?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 month ago

I agree with the viewpoint that you said regarding Imam Ali (A) loving his wife greatly, and it seems that the Prophet (S) and his family had very open hearts, and also that love for their families was part of their spirituality and perfection. So I would not say that, in the tradition ascribed to them (A), there is an ideal of cutting of love for one's wife and children.

As I am sure you know, there some clear narrations on this topic attributed to the Prophet (S) such as "I was made to love three things - perfume, women, and prayer", and as related from Imam Kazim (A) "whenever a man's faith increases, his love of women increases." Of course this should not be a haraam love whereby one does illict acts in the name of love, but, rather, the capacity for love and connection with and appreciation of the opposite gender increases, perhaps as part of spiritual growth. It is not a sign of spiritual growth to be cold and standoffish with one's lawful spouse (unless there are serious marital or personal problems that cause that, unrelated to this subject).

Of course, there are many approaches to mysticism and gnosis, and sometimes people prescribe other approaches according to their understanding for their own reasons even if the are somewhat different from the above.

However, perhaps one can glean from the Qur'an and hadith that (a) although it is good to be open to one's spouse and children and love them, one should not grow overattached to them to the point where they place them above Allah, whatever that means to a person in practice, (b) one should not be attached to the worldly life, although one can take comfort in the knowledge that human relationships can outlast the worldly life, and (c) sometimes we are tested by these things, and we are also tested by what we love most. For some people, their greatest tests in life relate to their family or children. Inshallah you will be protected from this.

In my view - and this is just my view, it may irk others - in some Muslim spiritual circles there is a sort of cynicism when it comes to human love, and an emphasis that this world is just for tasting the delights of Allah or the hereafter, and we should not dwell on these things or expect to have them. I have often suspected that this may be rooted in some of the social restrictions and disappointments relating to worldly life that some people have had, especially in the older generations - for instance, feeling compelled to marry someone who one didn't really want to be with, or other such problems. And to some degree, a way to deal with this is to look to what is beyond this world spiritually and not focus on it. I am not saying this is the situation with everyone but perhaps it is a factor.

107544

Children . Employment . Non-Muslims

Is it permissible to work at a non-Muslim household as a child caregiver for their children?

Bismihi ta'ala

There would be no shar'i problem with this, as long as it does not entail anything haram in the process.

And Allah knows best.

107475

Money . Khums . Father . Children

Will a teenage child be held accountable for eating and spending from money on which Khums has not been paid by their father?

No, as the responsibility of paying the Khums is not on him but on his father.

All family members who eat and utilize money are not responsible to pay its Khums because they are not the owners and Khums is obligatory on the owner only.

Wassalam.

107532

Baligh . Sunni . Children . Salat al-Jama’at

Is it allowed for a non-Baligh child to lead adults in Wajib prayers, as this practice is seen in the Sunni community? Will my prayer be accepted if I happened to participate in such a congregation?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 1 month ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. One of the conditions for a prayer leader according to the School of Ahl al-Bayt (as) is that they are baligh. If they are not baligh, that prayer cannot be lead by them and so if someone participated in that prayer they will need to repeat it.

May you always be successful

107007

Husband . Mother . Wife . Children

Can the husband and his mother force the wife to agree to have children?

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective.

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life.

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband.

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this.

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do.

With prayers for your success.

106772

Domestic violence . Children

I understand that it is impermissible to hit my child if it leaves a mark. However, what is the Islamic ruling regarding a light smack if the child continues to be disobedient?

We always advise the parents to avoid hitting their children because of the big harm of insult on the soul and mind of the child.Hitting any one including your children is not permissible if it leaves a mark. There is a penalty (Diyah) to be paid to the child if the mark is reddish, and more penalty if the mark is blueish.

Parents should look for other ways to deal with their children's disobedience which should be away from insulting or violence.

'Wassalam.

105498

Narrations . Wealth . Saving . Family . Children . Death

We see through different narrations that encourage us to give away our wealth during our lifetime rather than saving it up. How much wealth should we save for our family and children for when we die?

We Beed to look after selves as well as our family and children. We need good deeds for our future as much as we can. We also should for our family and children Whatever they need to have a respectable livelihood till they are able to earn for themselves. Obviously, we believe that Allah (SWT) will never leave them as He never left us.

Wassalam.

105435

Responsibility . Baligh . Children . Parents

Is there a responsibility on Baligh children to do Amr bil Maruf and Nahi Anil Munkar on their parents with the intention to tell them about the Nafs, teachings of the Ahlul Bayt (as) and connection with their Lord?

Baligh person is no more a child in Islam. Once the child reaches the Bolough, he/she is no more a child even if the society calls them children. Baligh person has the responsibility to perform every obligatory act or worship according to his abilities. Baligh young person is responsible to do Amr bil Ma'roof and Naahi 'Anil Munkar according to his knowledge and abilities and the possibility of effect.

Dealing with parents must be with full respect even if they do what you think it wrong. You must avoid any word or behaviour which can cause hurting their feelings. Hurting the feelings of your parents or any of them is a major sin.

Wasalam.

105053

Wife . Husband . Sunni-Shi'a . Faith (Iman) . Children

If a wife is Shia and husband is not Shia and she cannot practice her faith in front of him and is unable to teach Shia faith to her kids, will she be held accountable on the day of Judgment for not teaching her kids the correct path? What can she do?

Every Muslim is responsible to teach his/her children the True Faith in Allah, the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). Shia wife must do whatever she can to teach her kids the Truth about Islam of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). Allah knows her abilities and she must use all her abilities in this regard.

'Wassalam.