Yes, you can go to mixed weddings, as long as the gatherings are appropriate and decent. You can use your good judgment about what is appropriate and decent.
We must refrain from any sinful act even if family and friends insist in it. You must refuse any sinful act. No one is more important to obey more than Allah (SWT). We disobey every one but never disobey Allah (SWT).
If they are mahram to each other then holding hands is permitted. So if they are 'engaged' meaning that they have either conducted a temporary or permanent aqd which has been read for them, then it's ok. If neither have been read for them yet, then they aren't allowed to physically touch each other regardless of what the parents say.
May Allah grant you success
I am sure you know to what extent our religion stresses on obedience and respect to our parents, no matter how old we may be. The necessary actions you must take should in no way wait for your wedding, or be connected with anything else. It should be something immediate and straight away.
Let's say your circumstance is very difficult, like having an abusive parent, or a parent that was never in your life, or other scenarios that unfortunately could occur, it still does not mean you sever your ties with your parent. Maintaining the relationship is very important, and in the worst of cases, doing dua for them is the least you can do.
Always remember the hadiths that say our path to God is through our parents, and we will never enter Heaven if we are disobedient to our parents.
In your spare time, read the hadiths that are on this link:
With prayers for your success.
This is a difficult, but unfortunately common situation. As young adults wish to commence their married life, their main focus is stability and building a relationship with their new partner.
Sadly, with some parents of different generations and incorrect mindsets, their focus is more on gaining social status, trying to please those around them, showing off wealth, etc.
Of course, at times parents might think that having a lavish wedding is their method of expressing their happiness and love, but indeed this is the wrong and un-Islamic way of doing so.
Alhamdullilah, the groom is conscious of these things, and his focus is on more important matters. The groom does not need to "donate" the money to the needy. Yes, giving sadaqah is good, but at the same time, this money that the parents want to use to spend of extravagent wedding can be used to invest in their future. For example, as a down-payment for their house, and so on.
I discuss these things in detail on a FB page I have. Please visit it:
With prayers for your success.
Thank you for your question. Enjoining the good and forbidden the evil is dependent on the effectiveness of your actions or words, not on whether the person will feel bad for a time, even if that be your own parents. Rather, what is important is to maintain respect and gentleness if you think your message will reach open ears.
As for playing haram music at your wedding you can state quite clearly that you would be opposed to that.
May you always be successful
Wasting money is forbidden in Islam and considered as one of the major sins, but if money is been thrown in the air then collected by children or participants in the wedding as a gift for them to make them happy, it will not be wasting money but gifting it to the children or participants. Gifting money should be within the moderate levels and not over the limits, otherwise if the amounts were over the moderate limits, or just for show, it will be then not permissible. If you know any part of the thrown money will be wasted, then it will be not permissible to waste any money.
You have the choice to go to the wedding or to not go to the wedding. It is not required to observe days of mourning for days of wafat or shahadat (death/martyrdom), it is only recommended. Weddings are also optional.
In my view, if you have a good relationship with your family, or if you will regret missing the wedding, then you should go. Allah knows that your intention in your heart is not to disrespect the Prophet (S) and to maintain family ties, and maintaining family ties is also good. The Prophet (S) was compassionate and merciful and would be unlikely to criticise you for this!
However, you also have the choice not to go, and it isn't necessary to go.
This is as long as it doesn't involve disrespect to the religion. Most Muslims don't know that the 28th Safar is the death anniversary of the Prophet (S), and don't commemorate this, so they aren't intentionally being disrespectful when they schedule a wedding. However, for instance, if someone schedules a wedding on Ashura, and they know some Muslims commemorate Ashura, then maybe attending the wedding would convey disrespect to Ashura or give them the idea that you don't take your faith seriously.
The biggest emphasis in our tradition is on avoiding celebrations on Ashura. It is also good to avoid celebrations on other sad days, but the biggest emphasis is on Ashura.
There are a lot of shahadat/wafat days that are commemorated, so, sometimes, in an environment where not everyone shares the same religious traditions, it can be difficult to observe all of them!
Because the marriage was consummated, you would need to observe 'iddah of divorce. As for informing elders, that would be at your discretion.
And Allah knows best.
The aim of Mut'ah marriage is to save both man and woman who are not able to get married from falling in sexual sinful thoughts and acts. There is a Hadeeth from Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (AS): In fact, Mut'ah marriage was ordained for the benefit and protection of the women who have no husbands. Married men should not indulge in Mut'ah marriage in a way which makes their wives angry and blame Shariat which allowed Mut'ah. (Al-Kaafi, V. 5, P. 453 narrated from Abul Hasan (AS)).
It is compulsory to abide to Islamic rule in every circumstance. Attending a party of close relatives which included sinful acts is not permissible.
Obeying Allah is above pleasing any one else.
Yes it is allowed keeping in mind and abiding all rules of Islam e.g. Hijab and Halal food.