Wife

Bismihi ta'ala

If a married couple, in their early stages of their marriage do not define how they are going to live their lives, especially with their interaction with each other's families, then there will be many ongoing problems. 

Defining your relationship with your family, and your in-laws, is very easy, even if they might be difficult to deal with. 

Your primary position is your obedience and loyalty to your parents. This is the Islamic principle, and that's how you live as a Muslim. Even if it means you are uncomfortable, or it isnt really what you want, but if it makes your parents happy, then that's what you should do. 

As for your parent-in-laws, they are now like your parents, so you treat them as you would treat your own parents. 

This is applicable to the husband and to the wife, equally. 

Let's be less sensative, and more accomodating to them as elders, from a different generation, from a different mindset. And all for the greater good, of keeping peace and harmony. 

Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (a.s.) says: Do good and obey your parents so that your children will do good and obey you.

I've also come across a tradition about how cursed a spouse may be if they were to force their spouse to choose between them and their parents. 

Of course parents are more important. Not just more important that our spouse, but more important than ourselves. 

What if the husband/wife has no consideration, and cannot combine between their family and their parents. This is why it is so important for us to learn Akhlaq. 

You should never allow yourself to be in the situation where you have to choose between your spouse or your parents. You should also never put someone else in such a situation. 

Balance happens when you respect boundaries, and as I said, you have defined your relationship. You pay utmost attention to your husband/wife, and at the same time to accommodate to the needs of your parents and family members. You also never discriminate, and treat your in-laws the same. 

You have your own life now, and you are trying to build that, but you wont be able to create a loving caring atmosphere at home if you break bridges with others. That's why we shouldnt think that way, who is more important you or your parent, or who do you love more, your son or your daughter and so on.

We accomodate to each person around us in the befitting way, based on shar' and akhlaq.

With prayers for your success.

Bismihi ta'ala

From a fiqhi perspective, a wife is able to petition for divorce, and she can forfeit her mahr and request that her husband divorces her. 

However, in this specific case of the husband not able to make his wife pregnant, are there other underlying problems, or is it only this issue. If it is only this issue, what if it was the other way around, where the wife was not able to fall pregnant, would it be nice for the husband to divorce her on such grounds alone? 

There might be alternative options to take, and some patience as well. Of course, if there are other problems that contribute to the wife making such a decision, then that is something else, and she should consult her family and wise people.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

We know that the one wajib thing a wife must observe towards her husband is "tamkīn", which means sexual availability. 

Of course, this does not mean the husband can "force" himself onto his wife, or what is known in today's society as "marital rape". If this was the case, and the husband forces himself on the wife, then in reality their marriage has already failed and fallen apart. 

A healthy husband/wife relationship also depends on their physical attraction towards each other and sexually satisfying each other. This is why the wife should aim towards sexually satisfying her husband, and the husband should also cater to his wife's needs. 

Both also need to be considerate of the physical, mental and emotional state of each other. If she or is sick, or not in the mood, or upset for some reason, or tired, or anything else, and it's not an ongoing excuse, then they should be considerate and respect their spouse. Be patient, be understanding, think beyond just sexual satisfaction, and build the relationship between you and your spouse. 

Of course, it should never be to humiliate or extract revenge or get back at the spouse. This would be sinful and haram. 

Intimacy has its value when both sides are enjoying, and hence both the husband and wife should aim towards living together with a healthy intimate life and also adhere to what our Islamic akhlaq and laws wants from us.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

No, there is no "necessity" for the husband to work outside. The husband can work from home, or maybe due to circumstances be unemployed. 

In regards to your question, there are two important points:

1. In Islam, it is wajib for the husband to cover expenses, as nafaqah is the husband's duty. If the wife wishes to pay for things, it is not her shar'i duty, and it is out of her goodness. 

2. For the long term, it will not be good or mentally healthy for the husband to be at home all the time, with no work, or future ambitions, or being occupied with at least something useful for himself, his family or for the community. Therefore, it would be advisable that the husband somehow keeps himself busy in this case.

With prayers for your success.