Wife

A wife is a female partner in a continuing marital relationship.
The term continues to be applied to a woman who has separated from her partner, and ceases to be applied to such a woman only when her marriage has come to an end, following a legally recognized divorce or the death of her spouse. On the death of her partner, a wife is referred to as a widow, but not after she is divorced from her partner.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 week ago

Bismihi ta'ala

There is no Islamic ruling that forbids contact between an ex husband and wife. Yes, they become non-mahram to each other, but their parent-in-laws do stay mahram to them. This means that although he is divorced, his mother-in-law still stays mahram. And the same for the ex-wife as well. 

It would be the best thing for ex-partners to stay civil and have good conduct towards each other. It does not need to be hostile and a battle. The ex might be uncomfortable in the presence of their ex, that is understandable, but it is not forbidden or haram to have common interaction, like between any other non-mahram, along with observing the correct shar'i boundaries as well. 

However, if there are children from that relationship, it would be necessary to have a positive and healthy relationship, or at least neutral and not hostile in any way. If there is a certain event that would bring both together, or a family gathering, or something of that kind, then it is absolutely fine to be there. You have a choice of attending, or excusing yourself. Whether you wish to interact or not, that is completely up to you. 

It could be the case that there was violence in the relationship, for example, and therefore the ex-wife would not be comfortable at all in being in the same place as the ex-husband. 

In any case, to answer your specific question, yes, it is allowed for her to accept the invitation, bearing in mind everything else I have mentioned. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

Human dignity of woman does not allow her to be with more than man at the same time. It is not only in Islam, but in all main religions that woman is allowed to marry one man at the same time. More than one man at the same time means destroying the dignity of the woman and shaking her self respect. Obviously, if a woman is allowed to marry more than one man at the same time, the society will lose trust in the belonging of the children to their father as no one will know who is the real father of the child. That itself is a big damage to the human sonciety.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is indeed a primary and very important part of it. Sexual incompetence is grounds for divorce. 

We have numerous narrations and rulings on this topic as well. A man asked Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) about a woman whose husband was incapable of intimacy, and whether she should leave him. The Imam (a.s.) answered, Yes, if she wants to leave him. [al-Tahdhib, vol. 7, p. 431]. 

That being said, in regards to this specific question that has been asked, if there was such a huge age difference between them, why did she get married to him in the first place? Did she or her family not think of these things when they first got married? Can the problem be solved through medication? 

In any case, the wife does have the right to request a divorce if she chooses to do so. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 weeks ago

If she left staying with her husband for an agreed terms between them, or if he travels for work or any other valid reason, she must get from him all her livelihood expenses according to the place where she is living in at present.

If she leaves her husband against his wish and for no valid Islamic reason, she will lose her right on him until she agrees with him on their mutual rights according to Islam.

Wassalam.

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I agree with the viewpoint that you said regarding Imam Ali (A) loving his wife greatly, and it seems that the Prophet (S) and his family had very open hearts, and also that love for their families was part of their spirituality and perfection. So I would not say that, in the tradition ascribed to them (A), there is an ideal of cutting of love for one's wife and children.

As I am sure you know, there some clear narrations on this topic attributed to the Prophet (S) such as "I was made to love three things - perfume, women, and prayer", and as related from Imam Kazim (A) "whenever a man's faith increases, his love of women increases." Of course this should not be a haraam love whereby one does illict acts in the name of love, but, rather, the capacity for love and connection with and appreciation of the opposite gender increases, perhaps as part of spiritual growth. It is not a sign of spiritual growth to be cold and standoffish with one's lawful spouse (unless there are serious marital or personal problems that cause that, unrelated to this subject).

Of course, there are many approaches to mysticism and gnosis, and sometimes people prescribe other approaches according to their understanding for their own reasons even if the are somewhat different from the above.

However, perhaps one can glean from the Qur'an and hadith that (a) although it is good to be open to one's spouse and children and love them, one should not grow overattached to them to the point where they place them above Allah, whatever that means to a person in practice, (b) one should not be attached to the worldly life, although one can take comfort in the knowledge that human relationships can outlast the worldly life, and (c) sometimes we are tested by these things, and we are also tested by what we love most. For some people, their greatest tests in life relate to their family or children. Inshallah you will be protected from this. 

In my view - and this is just my view, it may irk others - in some Muslim spiritual circles there is a sort of cynicism when it comes to human love, and an emphasis that this world is just for tasting the delights of Allah or the hereafter, and we should not dwell on these things or expect to have them. I have often suspected that this may be rooted in some of the social restrictions and disappointments relating to worldly life that some people have had, especially in the older generations - for instance, feeling compelled to marry someone who one didn't really want to be with, or other such problems. And to some degree, a way to deal with this is to look to what is beyond this world spiritually and not focus on it. I am not saying this is the situation with everyone but perhaps it is a factor. 

 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 month ago

I guess not.

However, keep in mind that, for a long time, and often still today, women have had less power (financial power, social power, etc) and so one this is of the main means of leverage women have had in order to get what they want or need. So it is nice to be sympathetic to that.

Also, at least it sounds like you are having a good and regular relationship with each other, which is something to appreciate, especially since it strengthens the marriage, whereas some married couples are not able to have a satisfying conjugal relationship. 

Perhaps some others will offer some advice. :)

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Among the obligatory things a husband must do is to financially provide for his wife. This is called nafaqah, and it is wajib upon the husband, irrespective of whether the wife has savings, an external income or work payments. 

What the wife earns outside of nafaqah is hers and she has no obligation to provide for the household. If she wishes to contribute, then that is her choice and out of her own good will. 

The nafaqah that the husband must provide for is the essential payments for a household and a family, based on their status. This would include accommodation, furnishing the house, food, bills, medical bills. 

There is no specific percentage for how much nafaqah needs to amount to, as it would all be based on their individual circumstances. 

Of course, the husband also has the responsibility of providing nafaqah to other dependents, like his children, grandchildren, parents, etc.  

This is the shar'i ruling for nafaqah, but we know that for a marriage to be successful it's not just about money and demanding, because that will ruin a relationship. The husband and wife should aim at accommodating for each other to strengthen their household, religiously, morally and spiritually. They should try to be patient if they go through financial restraints, and work on overcoming it together as one family.

And Allah knows best. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

It is a sinful act to beat any one, leave aside the wife who is your life partner who should get from you the best treatment. The Prophet (SAWA) said: Best of you are the best to their wives and I am the best to my wives.

Hadeeth states: I wonder from the man who beats his wife while he is more entitled to be beaten. (Biharul Anwaar, volume 103).

(Good believer never beats his wife) as the Hadeeth stated.

If a husband beats his wife and causes reddish ness on her body, he will responsible to a penalty called Diyah which increases with the degree of the beating.

That is apart from the punishment hereafter for beating.

'Real Muslim believes that his wife is a respected human being like him and will never beat her nor hurt her feelings.

'Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

As a religion, Islam encourages sexuality and sees sexual relations to not only be healthy and positive, but also religiously required. This is always an important point to remember, because if we compare the Islamic approach to sexuality with that of other religions, we will see how other religions see sex as something immoral, shameful or limited to the least level of intimacy. 

There are many mustahab things related to intimacy between the husband and wife, but also focusing on the personal/spiritual side as well. 

Certain acts that have surfaced in today's society, for the purpose of "spicing up" a relationship is due to a lack of personal connection or failing to have intimacy just by being with the partner. Boundaries of morality and legitimate relationships have turned many people to look for alternatives for sexual arousal. 

As Muslims, our emphasis is not just the physical side, but also the moral and spiritual connection with our partner. Our objective is to elevate our spiritual status and gain closer proximity to God. It is not just to feed our lust at any cost. 

A normal and healthy relationship will enable the partner to have sexual arousal without the need of crossing human moral boundaries. 

If someone needs whipping or physical humiliation to become sexually aroused, then do you really think they have a correct or healthy state of mind?

How can an honourable person have the urge of wanting to inflict pain on someone else for pleasure? That would be considered sickening. However, unfortunately because it something promoted by Western society, it becomes ok and many people do not see the harms of such acts. 

Almighty God has given us dignity, and we must always treat others in a dignified manner. Fulfilling sexual desires is an important thing, but not at the cost of removing our moral state or gaining animal traits. 

It's not just a matter of tying someone, or wearing handcuffs, but more than that. One might say there are different levels of BDSM, and there are acts that do not involve physical pain or humiliation. In such a case, if it is consensual and things are done in a dignified manner, then there would not be an issue. 

Ultimately, when it comes to fulfilling of sexual desires, dignity and respect is always important. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

It is not permissible according to the obligatory precaution for the husband to drink the milk of his wife, but if he did that , it will not harm his marriage with his wife.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Your late wife must have been a good lady for you to continue to remember her. Yes, of course you can do dua and pray for her forgiveness, as long as she was not hostile to Islam and she knew no better. 

With prayers for your success.