Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

69099

Husband . Sadaqa . Domestic abuse

In a discussion today I heard someone say that men in Islam are allowed to hit their wives if the wives are doing something wrong. I also heard someone say a woman is not allowed to pay charity without permission from her husband. Are these views correct?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 days ago

1. Islam does not allow any one to him other person. Husband is not allowed to hit his wife. What has been mentioned in Quran (4:34) has been misunderstood by translators. Our leading scholars have explained the meaning of it according to authentic Hadeeths from the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). We have authentic Hadeeths blaming and attacking the person who hits his wife and state that beside the sin that he has committed, he must pay a penalty to her which depends on the effect of the hit on her body.

2. She is free to give charity with out her husband's permission or even knowledge if she gives from her own money or money given to her by him for her, but if she wants to give from his own money, then he should approve that. This rule is general in Islam in all cases of using or dealing or giving the money of any one. The owner of the money must allow or approve that.

Wassalam.

68037

Husband . Wife

Can a husband and wife hold hands in public?

Yes they are allowed to hold hands in public provided that:

1. her hands above the wrists should not be shown to outsider men .

2. Holding hands in public should not encourage sinful acts or sinful habits.

3. Holding hands in public should not create doubt about their characters in the minds of people who see them.

Wassalam.

67117

Wife . Husband . Salah (Prayers)

Is it true that a wife is not allowed to pray next to her husband but has to pray behind him? If so, what is the reason?

It is a matter of respect to the female not to be seen bending her body in front of a man, even if he is her father or husband or son or brother. Although we can not say for sure that this is the only reason, as the rules from Allah (SWT) are based on our benefit which best known to Him and we might not be able to understand all of it.

Wassalam.

66128

Obedience . Islam . Wife . Husband

In regards to obedience in Islam, does a wife have to obey every single thing a husband tells her (within the folds of Islam) without any questions asked ?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 month ago

65265

Husband . Wife

Can a husband dictate to his wife the type and colour of clothes she wears regardless of her own tastes?

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 1 month ago

Bismillah

Asalamu Alaykom,

If a husband has good intentions and wants to prevent his wife from wearing very bright colours outside which would draw attention, then this is something good. Hijab has many different aspects and clothes which draw attention of non-mahrams, should be avoided.

If however you are speaking about clothes worn inside the house or in settings where there are only mahrams, then both spouses should try to wear those things which each other would like. Marriage isn’t a dictatorship though so both should speak about things and have a right to wear some things that they like.

May Allah grant you success

59604

Woman . Husband . Disobedience

Is it true that a woman cannot leave the house without her husband's permission and will not be entitled to food and clothing if she disobeys him?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answer updated 2 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. Marriage is a mutual agreement. One of the default conditions in permanent marriage is that the woman must have the permission of her husband to leave the house and another default condition is that the husband is responsible for the woman's food, clothing and shelter. This is unless the woman leaves the house in the following cases:

1) a necessity requires her to

2) staying in the house causes her hardship (haraj)

3) the house is not appropriate for her

If the woman insists on breaking a condition then the man is not bound to fulfill his side of the agreement as she has forgone her right to those things. On the other hand, if a wife's living expenses are to be borne by her husband but he does not pay them, she can take her living expenses from his property without his consent. If this is not possible, in the event that she cannot complain to a qualified jurist about this and has no option other than to work in order to meet her living expenses, then while she is working to meet her living expenses it is not obligatory on her to obey her husband in those matters that are normally obligatory.

May you always be successful.

61428

Husband . Wife

If a husband does not like to acknowledge his second wife in public being concerned about his reputation and how people will react to it, how should the second wife deal with this situation?

I am sorry to hear about this challenging situation.

The ideal and example of the Prophet (S) is that marriage is public and, unless someone is living in a cave, there are a lot of questions and awkward situations that will come up if a woman is married secretly.

It is wrong to put someone under that kind of stress and pressure, and it is not healthy for the man or the woman.

Apart from the social challenges, marriage is one of the most important things in a person's life, and it is psychologically unhealthy to have to hide that from the world. Part of having a family is the social aspect of family, not just the private relationship between a husband and wife.

However, unfortunately, life isn't ideal. I am assuming the woman agreed to this situation when getting into it. Maybe - like most things in life - they didn't understand what it would be like long term, or they thought (or were told) things might change.

The only real options are: (a) try to convince the man to change his mind, (b) try to see if it is possible to make any life changes (such as moving to a different country) which would make secrecy unnecessary, (c) find coping mechanisms to deal with the situation personally and socially, and be patient, (d) leave the marriage, or (e) pray that Allah provides another option.

Life is a test, and in the end, what is important is how we navigate the tests in front of us, whether we are able to do it with faith and good ethics or not. I hope and pray the situation gets easier for all concerned!

Husband . Wife

If a husband does not like to acknowledge his second wife in public being concerned about his reputation and how people will react to it, how should the second wife deal with this situation?

There is no condition in marriage according to Ahlul Bayt (A) to declare the marriage in public. Witness on marriage is recommended and not obligatory If there was a condition agreed by both of them to announce the mae in public, then fulfilling the condition will be obligatory, but if there was no such condition and the husband feels danger on his reputation, then wife should consider listening to her husband and avoiding harming him.

Wassalam.

62301

Husband . Divorce . Hijab

What should I do if my husband threatens to divorce me if I were to wear Hijab and gives me silent treatment when I pray?

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. Praying and wearing hijab are very important acts of obedience in Islam and are essential for a person's well being in this world and the next. These are personal obligations in front of God and so it is not right for another to interfere in them even if that be a spouse and indeed, a spouse's approval is not conditional for the acceptance of those actions. Marriages are different and so the solution in working towards a compromise is specific to each relationship. If there is something that is specifically bothering your husband maybe you can help him express his issues and talk through it. For some relationships people can agree to disagree on certain issues and in others they can't. But when it comes to the performance of obligatory actions then that is a line that you have to remain principled on, even if the consequences are difficult.

May Allah make you successful

Husband . Divorce . Hijab

What should I do if my husband threatens to divorce me if I were to wear Hijab and gives me silent treatment when I pray?

You must always obey Allah, The Glorious despite all difficulties and challenges. True believers tolerate hardships for the sake of Allah like Asiya wife of Firaon who was enemy of Allah, but she stood fast in her faith and obedience and got the great status in Paradise.

Your husband must understand that he has no right to dictate on you any thing which is against the orders of Allah.

Depend and always seek help from Allah (SWT) and be sure that Allah will never leave you alone.

Wassalam.

54679

Husband . Bipolar Disorder . Du'a (Supplication)

I have a mental illness called bipolar and my husband is fed up with how I react and has left me. What can I do in terms of actions and Du'a to get him to come back?

Shyrose Jaffer Dhalla, Zakira Shyrose Jaffer Dhalla is a graduate of York University in Canada from where she obtained a BA in Psychology and Sociology and a Masters in the field of Education. She lectures on Islam at... Answer updated 3 months ago

Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).

The emotional toll and challenges faced by both the diagnosed, as well as by those that interact with them on a daily basis, are enormous. The ensuing fluctuating moods associated with the illness can often lead to dysfunctional and fractured relationships.

However, Bipolar disorder is still a manageable illness and diagnosed individuals, given the proper medical and psychological intervention, can definitely lead a functional and satisfying life.

The important role that Divine Intervention also plays in true healing must never be undermined. Without a doubt, true healing or "shifa" occurs more completely and efficiently when one couples medicine "dawa" with worship "dua".

It is imperative to note that this is a lifelong illness that requires constant adjustment and treatment. There are no quick solutions. Rather, correcting dysfunctional behaviour and patterns is an on-going and often trail-and-error process.

Thus, if a loved one has expressed an inability to tolerate the way we react and behave, and has, in fact, chosen to leave due to the difficulty this poses in the relationship, then true resolution and reconciliation can only occur if we make a commitment to changing the said behaviours by first obtaining the proper medical assistance.

The issue in hand requires a long term, life-sustaining solution. Simply bringing back the spouse does not solve the issues that made them leave in the first place. Rather, a focus on managing the symptoms of the illness, itself, will have more tangible results and may lead to a changed atmosphere that would be more conducive to them returning.

First, it is important to have a proper, medical diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder by a medical practitioner who specializes in mental illness. Second, it is crucial to learn about the symptoms and treatment options. Be well-versed with the illness and become a full participant in your treatment so that you can make informed choices. This will not only help to manage your symptoms more efficiently but will indicate to your spouse that you are committed to becoming a more mood-regulated partner.

Take your medication regularly, whether you feel it is working or not. This also helps convey to your loved ones that you are making an active effort to manage your symptoms.

Du'a e Yastasheer and Du'a e Mashlool are highly powerful and recommended duas for those who struggle with mental illness.

Ibna tawus in his book Muhaj al Dawat and Kafami in his book Misbah narrate dua'a Yastasheer on the authority of Imam Ali ibna abi Talib (a.s) who learned it from the Holy Prophet (saww). It is said that "the sound of this dua'a moves to and around the arsh, its direct destination. It cures sickness and disperses sorrow, it cures insanity if recited before a mad man."

Dua Mashlool, also known as "supplication of the youth stricken for his sin," is also quoted from the work of Kaf-ami and from Muhaj al Da-wat by Sayyid ibn tawus.

Recite this dua'a after Isha salat, especially on Fridays. "It brings countless blessings. All your legitimate desires will be fulfilled. It drives away poverty and sickness. Sins are for given. Debts are cleared. Enemies become friends. Domestic affairs are set aright. Disputes are settled in your favour. Prisoners are set free and mental worries disappear. Prosperity, sound mind and healthy body stand by you at all times".

Managing bipolar disorder starts with proper treatment, including medication and psychotherapy. Be patient; it takes time to find to find the correct treatment.

Know your triggers (stress, financial difficulties, arguments, seasonal changes, lack of sleep, too much caffeine, missing medications) Learn how to relax and monitor yourself to ascertain what effectively helps you to regulate your moods.

It is extremely important to build and keep a strong support system. Never allow yourself to isolate from others; it may be very beneficial to join a support group and to also build new relationships. Take a class, join a group, volunteer, attend events at your Islamic centre.

Engage in a firm commitment to regulating your mood-swings. Using proper medication, psychotherapy, learning more functional ways of interacting and beseeching to Allah swt will put you in an optimum position for reaching out to your spouse for a reconciliation. Commit to join couples therapy and encourage your spouse to join a support group so that they can also learn more functional ways of dealing with your mood-fluctuations.

Do recite Dua Tawasul and ask the 14 Masumeen (a.s) to intercede and to assist you with the task ahead.

For a list of websites, resources and medical organizations that offer specialized care for bipolar disorder in specific cities around the world, visit:

https://bipolarcaregivers.org/resources/organisations-and-websites-dealing-with-bipolar-disorder

May Allah swt bless you with healing and health, reconcile you with your loved ones and grant you the towfiqaat to deal with your illness with steadfast faith and patience. Ilaahi ameen

60755

Woman . Husband . Divorce . Iddah

A woman is not living with her husband for the last 4 months and had no intimacy of any kind with him. If he then sends her a divorce letter, does she still have to complete her Iddat?

1. Just a letter from the husband or his attorney does not mean real Islamic Talaq unless Talaq has been pronounced properly in front of two pious witnesses along with all other conditions of Talaq ( Husband should not be forced to divorce, wife should not be passing her menstrual period, etc)

2. Iddah of Talaq is obligatory on the wife for three periods of menses or three months after she knows about Talaq, no matter how much time they were separated.

3. If the wife is old enough that she has no menstrual period at all, then she has no Iddah after Talaq.

4. If the marriage was only been recited but never consummated, then no Iddah after Talaq.

Wassalam.