Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

If you have a concrete evidence that he is non Muslim, there is no marriage bond between you as a Muslim woman and him as non Muslim. When there is no marriage, there will be no question of divorce.
From the time of his becoming non Muslim, the marriage between you and him did end and it became null and void.

After four months and ten days from that date, you will be free to marry a Muslim man if you want.

Wassalam.

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Every Muslim is responsible to teach his/her children the True Faith in Allah, the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). Shia wife must do whatever she can to teach her kids the Truth about Islam of the Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS). Allah knows her abilities and she must use all her abilities in this regard.

'Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 weeks ago

Her husband gets one quarter. The remaining three quarters goes to the son and daughter who were alive when the woman died. Two shares for the son and one share for the daughter. 
If the daughter had already passed away before her mother, the son will get the three quarters.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 weeks ago

No. Islam does not allow stopping speaking with any Muslim whom you know more than three days, leave alone your husband's relatives. Stopping speaking to them can hurt the feelings of your husband and this is a Haraam (sinful act).

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 months ago

I am sure that the videos linked below are full of excellent advice and there is really nothing I can add.

Just a couple more thoughts (from a female perspective).

All you can do is your best. Life is complicated, human beings are complicated, and it takes two to tango. You can reach out to him, convey your love, and encourage him to work on the relationship, but if he isn't able or willing to do that presently, don't blame yourself. We can only control what we do, not what other people do. 

I am saying "don't blame yourself" because women are sometimes socialized to feel guilty when a marriage is not working out, and, in any case, it hurts to reach out to someone who isn't responsive. Just remember that you are doing your best but you can't force him to do something different. 

Sometimes one person has love to offer, but the other person does not currently have space for it (usually for their own reasons, sometimes relating to things that happened before the marriage). It is like trying to put 100 mL of water in a 5 mL cup - there just isn't any place for it to go. So again this is not your fault; all you can do is be there for him.

Assuming the marriage is not suffering from a terminal problem (and it is not for me to say what is or is not a reason to end a marriage), and you plan to stay in it, it might also be good to try to focus on your own emotional and personal well-being, whether that be in terms of education, personal development, career, hobbies, volunteer work, socializing, prayer and contemplation, or other things. (Insofar as any of this is possible given your commitments, restrictions, finances, and life circumstances.) As women, we are often socialized to focus wholly on a marriage and on the man and to make that our whole life and our whole existence; even if we have a career or need to work, it is sometimes considered "extra", and that can make it all the more devastating if a marriage is not working out the way we hoped it would. 

(Maybe I am being exceedingly traditional however and this is not your situation. Just putting it out there in general)

I do understand that a successful career really can't take the sting out of hurt in marriage problems, and one doesn't substitute for the other. However, the more of a backup you have in terms of your own well-being, the easier it may be to weather the storms and challenges of relationship problems. Sometimes it helps to have other productive and meaningful things to focus on if we are feeling hurt or frustrated. 

It is not unheard of for men in our communities to exhibit an avoidance strategy during marriage problems (for instance, a second wife or a female friend, which frequently allows for companionship with less responsibility) - should that come up, also, don't take it out on yourself as a failure or your fault. (I am certainly not saying it WILL happen, just that it does happen sometimes and frequently arises in discussions of "marital problems".)

It is my view that some of the popular books published about marriage and relationships, such as some of the ideas about different "love languages", have merit, and I don't see any harm in seeing what is out there insofar as one takes what is good and leaves the rest. Sometimes one reads a sentence or two which is quite profound and life-changing. Of course, not every idea that every person writes in a book is correct. 

And, of course, prayer is a number one first thing to do, but I am sure you are already doing that.

Please feel free to take any of the above that is useful and neglect the rest!

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

I am sure you know that it will need both of you to work towards bettering your marriage and your relationship. It is equally important for your husband to put effort in salvaging what is needed and making the correct adjustments for the sake of your marriage. 

You should not give up, and try to find alternative ways to bring him towards taking these steps. Maybe you can speak to a scholar he knows, or an elder who he respects, etc... 

I have a Ramadhan series as well, called "save your marriage, save the world". Each episode deals with a different topic. In shaa Allah it will be beneficial for you and your spouse. 

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHj5BjXrLabhURhrQr7stqV0dcDLtvHt_

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 months ago

Not valid at all.

'Talaq has many conditions to be valid one of them is not be in anger and must be witnessed by two pious men and many other conditions.

'Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 months ago

Husband is responsible to pay for all livelihood expenses of his wife. This responsibility is part and parcel of the marriage agreement. If he fails to pay for his wife's livelihood expenses, she has the right to ask for all the unpaid expenses which remain as a debt on him. She will also have the right to ask the Marje of Taqleed or his deputy to diverge her if her husband insists on not giving her her livelihood expenses.

'All the expenses of his children is responsibility of their father.

'Wassalam. 

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I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is normal to re-evaluate how a marriage is going after 7 or 8 years and see if it is functioning well.

Life is (somewhat) about choices. If the marriage isn't working for you, Islamically speaking, the first step is to try to make it work (for instance, as mentioned, through communication or a marriage counselor, if he is willing). That said, it requires the interest and commitment of both people in a marriage for things to change.

If he isn't interested in changing, then you need to decide what you want for your own life and future, and whether to accept the situation as it is or to try to move on  (obviously, taking into account all factors, such as how the relationship is otherwise, financial matters, whether you have children and what you feel would be best for them, etc). While divorce is discouraged in Islam, and, statistically speaking, women tend to suffer more than men (financially and emotionally) after divorce, it is also not good to harm yourself or stunt your growth and potential if there is no greater good behind it.

This is ultimately a decision that you would have to make for yourself since no one is in your shoes and can fully understand your situation, especially if depression is a factor. 

I would suggest in any case - and I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries - that regardless of whether or not separation might be in the future, it is always healthy to have friends and associates who can be a safety net in a time of crisis. This is true both for yourself as an individual, but also for the family, as we never know what will happen - what if he were to suddenly be in a coma or something? If there is any way to make friendships, even online, it would be helpful not only psychologically but also on a practical level. 

(Indeed, in the current world situation, many of us are discovering the value of having a safety net.)

I would also point out as tactfully as possible that, oftentimes, when someone is extremely suspicious and untrusting, it is because they have things to hide, or else they have behaved questionably in the past. Otherwise, normal people are not usually extremely suspicious or untrusting. I am just putting that out there, and that may not at all be the case in your situation. It is just an observation about human psychology. 

Life sometimes doesn't have easy answers but prayer for guidance is also always a good start. 

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Trust is an important factor between spouses and without it, the relationship can become very damaged. Have you tried asking him why he doesn't trust you? If you haven't done anything for him to act this way then he could be overly paranoid based on his own insecurities.  Also he cannot unjustly control you such as preventing you from having believing female friends.

Try to be open with him and mention the damage this is doing. If you have already tried this or it doesn't work, try to get a trusted believer who can mediate or a trusted alim who is experienced in martial disputes to speak to you both or arrange a session. 

May Allah grant you success 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 months ago

People have a right to privacy, and he has a right to privacy just as you have a right to privacy. There could be any number of reasons, other than cheating, why he wishes to keep his phone private. Sometimes pushing people in these things can lead to greater conflict. 

Also, when people communicate via WhatsApp, etc, there is generally an assumption that the conversation is private. (Whether or not it involves cheating) For a third party to read it is also a violation of the other person's privacy, especially if they are talking about sensitive things like personal problems, work problems, legal problems, etc. So it is really not appropriate to read someone else's private conversations. Certainly if I talk to someone on one of these platforms, I don't expect their spouse to be reading it (regardless of their gender). 

Similarly, spying is not appropriate. Just as we wouldn't like to be spied on, we should not spy on others. 

Might I suggest that if you are having the idea that he is cheating or contemplating divorce, it isn't really about the phone itself, but maybe there are other things that are bringing these thoughts to mind. So maybe it is good to address the current issues between you two (rather than focusing on what if questions). If he seems distant or something else, maybe there is something in the relationship between the two of you that could be addressed, if possible. 

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Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

According to the narrations, masturbation is a sin and is compared to doing zina with oneself. 

We have an example of when Imam Ali (as) had to discipline someone for doing so: 

“Once a person was caught masturbating and was brought to Imam 'Ali. The Imam punished him by beating his hands until they turned red; then he made an arrangement for his marriage on government's expenses. 

(Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 267; vol. 18, pp. 574-5)”

Some non Muslim doctors and teachers may try to encourage such acts and say they are ‘healthy’ but such advice which contradicts the divine teachings is worthless. 

Masturbation is usually associated with haram acts such as pornography and can turn into an unhealthy addiction which affects one both physically and psychologically. 

A Muslim should try their upmost to have self control and dignity. Therefore, seeking marriage whether permanent or temporary is necessary to protect one’s private parts. 

A husband or wife may mutually stimulate each other’s private parts; for example, the wife masturbating the husband and vice-versa. If they are away from each other then they cannot use their own hands for such an action until being together. 

May Allah swt grant you success