Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 days ago

Not valid at all.

'Talaq has many conditions to be valid one of them is not be in anger and must be witnessed by two pious men and many other conditions.

'Wassalam.

99934

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

Husband is responsible to pay for all livelihood expenses of his wife. This responsibility is part and parcel of the marriage agreement. If he fails to pay for his wife's livelihood expenses, she has the right to ask for all the unpaid expenses which remain as a debt on him. She will also have the right to ask the Marje of Taqleed or his deputy to diverge her if her husband insists on not giving her her livelihood expenses.

'All the expenses of his children is responsibility of their father.

'Wassalam. 

99303

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is normal to re-evaluate how a marriage is going after 7 or 8 years and see if it is functioning well.

Life is (somewhat) about choices. If the marriage isn't working for you, Islamically speaking, the first step is to try to make it work (for instance, as mentioned, through communication or a marriage counselor, if he is willing). That said, it requires the interest and commitment of both people in a marriage for things to change.

If he isn't interested in changing, then you need to decide what you want for your own life and future, and whether to accept the situation as it is or to try to move on  (obviously, taking into account all factors, such as how the relationship is otherwise, financial matters, whether you have children and what you feel would be best for them, etc). While divorce is discouraged in Islam, and, statistically speaking, women tend to suffer more than men (financially and emotionally) after divorce, it is also not good to harm yourself or stunt your growth and potential if there is no greater good behind it.

This is ultimately a decision that you would have to make for yourself since no one is in your shoes and can fully understand your situation, especially if depression is a factor. 

I would suggest in any case - and I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries - that regardless of whether or not separation might be in the future, it is always healthy to have friends and associates who can be a safety net in a time of crisis. This is true both for yourself as an individual, but also for the family, as we never know what will happen - what if he were to suddenly be in a coma or something? If there is any way to make friendships, even online, it would be helpful not only psychologically but also on a practical level. 

(Indeed, in the current world situation, many of us are discovering the value of having a safety net.)

I would also point out as tactfully as possible that, oftentimes, when someone is extremely suspicious and untrusting, it is because they have things to hide, or else they have behaved questionably in the past. Otherwise, normal people are not usually extremely suspicious or untrusting. I am just putting that out there, and that may not at all be the case in your situation. It is just an observation about human psychology. 

Life sometimes doesn't have easy answers but prayer for guidance is also always a good start. 

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Trust is an important factor between spouses and without it, the relationship can become very damaged. Have you tried asking him why he doesn't trust you? If you haven't done anything for him to act this way then he could be overly paranoid based on his own insecurities.  Also he cannot unjustly control you such as preventing you from having believing female friends.

Try to be open with him and mention the damage this is doing. If you have already tried this or it doesn't work, try to get a trusted believer who can mediate or a trusted alim who is experienced in martial disputes to speak to you both or arrange a session. 

May Allah grant you success 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 weeks ago

People have a right to privacy, and he has a right to privacy just as you have a right to privacy. There could be any number of reasons, other than cheating, why he wishes to keep his phone private. Sometimes pushing people in these things can lead to greater conflict. 

Also, when people communicate via WhatsApp, etc, there is generally an assumption that the conversation is private. (Whether or not it involves cheating) For a third party to read it is also a violation of the other person's privacy, especially if they are talking about sensitive things like personal problems, work problems, legal problems, etc. So it is really not appropriate to read someone else's private conversations. Certainly if I talk to someone on one of these platforms, I don't expect their spouse to be reading it (regardless of their gender). 

Similarly, spying is not appropriate. Just as we wouldn't like to be spied on, we should not spy on others. 

Might I suggest that if you are having the idea that he is cheating or contemplating divorce, it isn't really about the phone itself, but maybe there are other things that are bringing these thoughts to mind. So maybe it is good to address the current issues between you two (rather than focusing on what if questions). If he seems distant or something else, maybe there is something in the relationship between the two of you that could be addressed, if possible. 

96227

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

According to the narrations, masturbation is a sin and is compared to doing zina with oneself. 

We have an example of when Imam Ali (as) had to discipline someone for doing so: 

“Once a person was caught masturbating and was brought to Imam 'Ali. The Imam punished him by beating his hands until they turned red; then he made an arrangement for his marriage on government's expenses. 

(Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 267; vol. 18, pp. 574-5)”

Some non Muslim doctors and teachers may try to encourage such acts and say they are ‘healthy’ but such advice which contradicts the divine teachings is worthless. 

Masturbation is usually associated with haram acts such as pornography and can turn into an unhealthy addiction which affects one both physically and psychologically. 

A Muslim should try their upmost to have self control and dignity. Therefore, seeking marriage whether permanent or temporary is necessary to protect one’s private parts. 

A husband or wife may mutually stimulate each other’s private parts; for example, the wife masturbating the husband and vice-versa. If they are away from each other then they cannot use their own hands for such an action until being together. 

May Allah swt grant you success

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

It can be a test for a good wife to be with dictatorial husband. Dealing with such difficult situation needs lot of tolerance and patience which is based on faith in Allah (SWT).

You should try to make him understand as much as you can and as much as he is able and willing to understand. Dialogue is always good.

If he refuses to understand, you remember the pious wives who tolerated dictatorial husbands e.g. lady Asiya who tolerated the worst husband Firaon. Your husband despite his dictatorial attitude should have also good points, so keep his good points in mind and remind him about his good points so that he may try to increase his good points and leave bad ones.

'Seek help from Allah (SWT) in any step and any situation and keep on reciting Du'a and Estighfaar and Salawaat. Repeating LA HAWLA WALA QUWWATA ILL BILLAH has great benefits.

'Wassalam.

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Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answered 1 month ago

Did your husband get into the marriage willingly or unwillingly? If he was pressured into the marriage and was not naturally inclined towards it, then this will have a major impact on whether he wants to show love and affection. Also, what was his upbringing? Was he raised in a household that does not show love or affection? Was he neglected emotionally as a child? Also, what are his family's ideas on marriage? Is it just a formality where everybody plays their role? Is your marriage based upon friendship? I.e. are both of you friends and allies? Do you have conversations with each other? Are you from different cultures and have different understandings about Islam? Have you spoken to him about how you notice that he does not demonstrate love or affection, and asked him why that is? 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 month ago

No obedience is permissible in disobeying Allah (ALLAH). Shia woman must follow the true Islam of Ahlul Bayt (AS) and never give up any rule or faith from Ahlul Bayt (AS) to please any one including her husband. She must be firm in following the True Islam of Ahlul Bayt at any cost.

'Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 1 month ago

Yes it is permissible for husband's father to marry the mother-in-law of his son if she is widowed or divorced. Wife is Mahram for her father-in-law only not for his sons and husband is Mahram for his mother-in-law only not for her other daughters. This rule of being Mahram does not include the parents of the husband and wife. 
'Your mother-in-law must observe Hijab from your father but not from you. Obviously, when they are non-Mahram to each other, marriage between them is permissible.

Wassalam.

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 month ago

It's fine as long as there is no secondary reason why they can't marry (for instance, they have a blood relationship that prevents it, etc.).

Anyway I think it is rather sweet. I hope they are all happy!

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 2 months ago

This subject has been broached here, and perhaps the fact that you are asking about it will encourage others to add some thoughts on it.

https://www.al-islam.org/ask/why-does-a-husband-have-the-power-in-islam-...