Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 6 days ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This question has already been answered. See:

https://www.al-islam.org/ask/if-i-was-granted-a-khulah-and-my-husband-wa...

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 week ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

If you mean by 'stay' to live with your husband's family then no, this isn't required. In fact it is obligatory upon the husband to provide a suitable accommodation for his wife in order for her to feel safe and comfortable. 

Living with in-laws can be an option for the newly  married couple who have just gotten on their feet, however it has been shown many times that  that long term living with in-laws can cause many problems as well as a lack of privacy for the couple. Therefore it is recommended that the couple try to eventually find their own place. 

May Allah grant you success  

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

1. Always try to cool him down and never cause him to be angry.

2. Talk to him frankly about the his thoughts on the effect of swear words on your kids. 
3. He might need an advice from experts in anger control.

4. His near friends and relatives might be able to advise him on the damaging effect of swear words in the children.

5. Remind him if you feel that he might listen about what the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) said about anger and swear words and the fact that every word from us is recorded on us.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

Human dignity of woman does not allow her to be with more than man at the same time. It is not only in Islam, but in all main religions that woman is allowed to marry one man at the same time. More than one man at the same time means destroying the dignity of the woman and shaking her self respect. Obviously, if a woman is allowed to marry more than one man at the same time, the society will lose trust in the belonging of the children to their father as no one will know who is the real father of the child. That itself is a big damage to the human sonciety.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is indeed a primary and very important part of it. Sexual incompetence is grounds for divorce. 

We have numerous narrations and rulings on this topic as well. A man asked Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) about a woman whose husband was incapable of intimacy, and whether she should leave him. The Imam (a.s.) answered, Yes, if she wants to leave him. [al-Tahdhib, vol. 7, p. 431]. 

That being said, in regards to this specific question that has been asked, if there was such a huge age difference between them, why did she get married to him in the first place? Did she or her family not think of these things when they first got married? Can the problem be solved through medication? 

In any case, the wife does have the right to request a divorce if she chooses to do so. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 2 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

A healthy spousal relationship is based primarily on communication. The husband and wife must discuss whatever is needed between them, and inform each other what they want, what they like/dislike, what their expectations are, and so on. 

Anything that contributes to keeping the marriage stable must be discussed. 

If husband and wife have a mutual understanding on leaving the house, where to go, where not to go, when to return, who to see, who not to see, etc., then many problems will be avoided.

The husband can give a general consent to the wife, and that is usually what happens, unless he turns to become an oppressive controlling man, which not only will he become miserable, so will the marriage. 

So, a husband can say to his wife, if you need to visit your family, or go to the mosque, or visit a dr, or go shopping, you don't need to wait for my approval. Just leave me a note, or ring/message me.

Such a scenario is absolutely fine. This would be ideal, and with good communication both sides will be happy. The ruling of a wife leaving the house only with consent of husband is not something that should be misused or manipulated. 

Also, if a husband knows by leaving the house for a certain purpose or a certain time, or staying out too much will upset his wife, then morally he should not do so, and it will certainly jeopardise his relationship. 

As the verse 3 of Surah al-Nisa` says: عاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف

A wife is not like a school student, and must not be treated as someone immature. The more independent family members are, the wiser they become and more responsible as well. 

More can be said about this, but I will suffice with this brief answer. 

And Allah knows best. 

As the verse says: 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 2 weeks ago

If she left staying with her husband for an agreed terms between them, or if he travels for work or any other valid reason, she must get from him all her livelihood expenses according to the place where she is living in at present.

If she leaves her husband against his wish and for no valid Islamic reason, she will lose her right on him until she agrees with him on their mutual rights according to Islam.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 weeks ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If the type of divorce was a khul'i divorce, you are able to return during the 'iddah period, but with a new marriage contract. This means you will need to perform a nikah ceremony, along with its requirements. 

That is the fiqhi answer, but of course it would be highly recommended for both sides to contemplate on what led to the initial divorce, and how healthy it is to rush back in so quickly. Establishing boundaries, putting conditions and understanding what needs to improve on both sides is extremely necessary in order to eliminate previous problems and happily live together.

And Allah knows best. 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 month ago

When the Qur'an speaks of removing bad feelings in heaven (7:43), it speaks of it for all people in general, not only women. So one can assume that neither men nor women feel bad feelings like resentment or anger or jealousy in heaven.

Jealousy is related to this life because of our restrictions due to our physical bodies and social factors, as well as things such as concerns over lineage, or fear of loss if one's spouse goes to another, but in Paradise, those are no longer considerations since the environment lacks the same restrictions as the material world.

My understanding of verses such as 36:55-57 which talk about spouses enjoying each other's company in Paradise is that it is a general use of the word "azwaj", meaning that human beings in general will be with enjoyable and appropriate partners, not that this is specifically referring to men and their earthly wives.

This is because most human beings have the inclination to unite with another because the human being is incomplete whereas Allah is complete. Therefore in Paradise they would also have the opportunity to unite with others, without the same social or material restrictions that they have here, although of course the greatest pleasure is to be in the presence of Allah.

This is similar to the apparent usage in 4:1 where it speaks of creating the soul and its mate (zawj) in an apparently ungendered fashion, albeit in practice many Muslims, including Yusufali in translation, render this as creating the man and his woman. But the actual language of the Book does not specify this distinction.

So, from this angle, one does not get the sense that specifically a man will be enjoying all the hur al ayns and the woman is bound only to her husband. In fact, that makes no sense because some women marry many times, and some marry no times. Some women also marry men like Yazid who is the last person they would ever see or want to see in Paradise. 

However, inshallah if someone wishes to be reunited with their husband or wife in Paradise, they will be able to do so and enjoy each other's company there. 

In any case, when we discuss the Hereafter, we really just take our best guess based on our understanding and what has been transmitted - none of us can say with entire certainty; what is certain is that we will find out.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 month ago

I guess not.

However, keep in mind that, for a long time, and often still today, women have had less power (financial power, social power, etc) and so one this is of the main means of leverage women have had in order to get what they want or need. So it is nice to be sympathetic to that.

Also, at least it sounds like you are having a good and regular relationship with each other, which is something to appreciate, especially since it strengthens the marriage, whereas some married couples are not able to have a satisfying conjugal relationship. 

Perhaps some others will offer some advice. :)

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 month ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Among the obligatory things a husband must do is to financially provide for his wife. This is called nafaqah, and it is wajib upon the husband, irrespective of whether the wife has savings, an external income or work payments. 

What the wife earns outside of nafaqah is hers and she has no obligation to provide for the household. If she wishes to contribute, then that is her choice and out of her own good will. 

The nafaqah that the husband must provide for is the essential payments for a household and a family, based on their status. This would include accommodation, furnishing the house, food, bills, medical bills. 

There is no specific percentage for how much nafaqah needs to amount to, as it would all be based on their individual circumstances. 

Of course, the husband also has the responsibility of providing nafaqah to other dependents, like his children, grandchildren, parents, etc.  

This is the shar'i ruling for nafaqah, but we know that for a marriage to be successful it's not just about money and demanding, because that will ruin a relationship. The husband and wife should aim at accommodating for each other to strengthen their household, religiously, morally and spiritually. They should try to be patient if they go through financial restraints, and work on overcoming it together as one family.

And Allah knows best.