Husband

Bismihi ta'ala

This question has already been answered. See:

https://www.al-islam.org/ask/if-i-was-granted-a-khulah-and-my-husband-wa...

Bismihi ta'ala

Sex is not everything in a marriage, but it is indeed a primary and very important part of it. Sexual incompetence is grounds for divorce. 

We have numerous narrations and rulings on this topic as well. A man asked Imam al-Sadiq (a.s.) about a woman whose husband was incapable of intimacy, and whether she should leave him. The Imam (a.s.) answered, Yes, if she wants to leave him. [al-Tahdhib, vol. 7, p. 431]. 

That being said, in regards to this specific question that has been asked, if there was such a huge age difference between them, why did she get married to him in the first place? Did she or her family not think of these things when they first got married? Can the problem be solved through medication? 

In any case, the wife does have the right to request a divorce if she chooses to do so. 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

A healthy spousal relationship is based primarily on communication. The husband and wife must discuss whatever is needed between them, and inform each other what they want, what they like/dislike, what their expectations are, and so on. 

Anything that contributes to keeping the marriage stable must be discussed. 

If husband and wife have a mutual understanding on leaving the house, where to go, where not to go, when to return, who to see, who not to see, etc., then many problems will be avoided.

The husband can give a general consent to the wife, and that is usually what happens, unless he turns to become an oppressive controlling man, which not only will he become miserable, so will the marriage. 

So, a husband can say to his wife, if you need to visit your family, or go to the mosque, or visit a dr, or go shopping, you don't need to wait for my approval. Just leave me a note, or ring/message me.

Such a scenario is absolutely fine. This would be ideal, and with good communication both sides will be happy. The ruling of a wife leaving the house only with consent of husband is not something that should be misused or manipulated. 

Also, if a husband knows by leaving the house for a certain purpose or a certain time, or staying out too much will upset his wife, then morally he should not do so, and it will certainly jeopardise his relationship. 

As the verse 3 of Surah al-Nisa` says: عاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف

A wife is not like a school student, and must not be treated as someone immature. The more independent family members are, the wiser they become and more responsible as well. 

More can be said about this, but I will suffice with this brief answer. 

And Allah knows best. 

As the verse says: 

Bismihi ta'ala

If the type of divorce was a khul'i divorce, you are able to return during the 'iddah period, but with a new marriage contract. This means you will need to perform a nikah ceremony, along with its requirements. 

That is the fiqhi answer, but of course it would be highly recommended for both sides to contemplate on what led to the initial divorce, and how healthy it is to rush back in so quickly. Establishing boundaries, putting conditions and understanding what needs to improve on both sides is extremely necessary in order to eliminate previous problems and happily live together.

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

This is something that the couple should have outlined prior to their marriage, especially if the husband or the wife does not have any interest in having children. After marriage, although the husband or his mother cannot "force" the wife to have children, she should see this from a different perspective. 

Our religion encourages us to have children, and many of them. There are numerous narrations from Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) that stress on having multiple children, and praises a woman who bears children. Motherhood is the most honourable thing a person can achieve, so what would want a wife to avoid having such a status.

She does not need to be forced. She only needs to look within and realise that it is going to be the greatest thing in her life. 

It will also keep her marriage and strengthen the bond between her and her husband. 

If, for example, she is having trouble with her husband, and she does not know whether her marriage will last or not, so she thinks pregnancy will be a bad choice. Or there is violence in the household, and she does not want to have a baby to be in such an environment. Or other situations that would jeapordise her relationship with her husband, then she must be very frank and straightforward about this. 

Most important for her to know is building a family is the most valuable thing a person can do. 

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

Among the obligatory things a husband must do is to financially provide for his wife. This is called nafaqah, and it is wajib upon the husband, irrespective of whether the wife has savings, an external income or work payments. 

What the wife earns outside of nafaqah is hers and she has no obligation to provide for the household. If she wishes to contribute, then that is her choice and out of her own good will. 

The nafaqah that the husband must provide for is the essential payments for a household and a family, based on their status. This would include accommodation, furnishing the house, food, bills, medical bills. 

There is no specific percentage for how much nafaqah needs to amount to, as it would all be based on their individual circumstances. 

Of course, the husband also has the responsibility of providing nafaqah to other dependents, like his children, grandchildren, parents, etc.  

This is the shar'i ruling for nafaqah, but we know that for a marriage to be successful it's not just about money and demanding, because that will ruin a relationship. The husband and wife should aim at accommodating for each other to strengthen their household, religiously, morally and spiritually. They should try to be patient if they go through financial restraints, and work on overcoming it together as one family.

And Allah knows best.