Daughter

Bismihi ta'ala

I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on. 

However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore. 

It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging. 

By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings. 

The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on. 

You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.

These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well. 

In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

It is very important for us as parents to teach our children independence and self-reliance as early as possible. It is not only good for the child's personality, building their life skills and self-esteem, but it is also good for the parents as well.

We can see how Islam encourages us to categorise the different stages of growth a child goes through, and to cater to each stage in its correct way. 

If your child does not have any physical difficulties that would impede her from doing these things on her own, it is highly encouraged from now to start teaching her these things so she can do them on her own. 

The more you delay it, the more difficult it will be for her to learn. Start with toilet training, getting her to learn how to clean herself, on her own. Then gradually give her the confidence that she can shower by herself, and so on. 

As for sleeping, I am sure you know how important it is for each child to sleep separately, on their own. Try to read about this topic from the viewpoint expert child psychologists. 

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

A "step-father" should aim at trying to become a father figure for his wife's children, and treat them like his own children. One positive way of treating children is by showing affection and loving care, through kissing the children, hugging them, and treating them in the best way possible. 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

Although the parents have divorced, and the children might not be living with the father, or maybe not even in contact with the father, but as long as the father is sane and alive, he is still the daughter's guardian and wali amr. Of course, if drug addiction impedes him from rational conduct, or he refuses to give consent on baseless grounds, then the case would be different. 

And Allah knows best.