Friendship

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It is not allowed to sit on a table having alcohol, but if you sit on a table which has no alcohol on it, it is allowed provided that you sitting in such place will not encourage others to be customers and drink alcohol.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 7 months ago

We ask and seek from Allah to grant us more Love to Him. The Du'a narrated from the Prophet (SAWA) states: O Allah, grant me loving You, loving those who love You and loving everything which makes me more near to You.

Allah says in Quran: The believers love Allah much more.(Sura 2, Verse 165).

We don't use the term of friendship with Allah, as friendship requires usually common or similar status between the friends. Allah is our Creator, Our Lord Who is showering on us every bounty. We love him to elevate ourselves from loving worldly things which can be harmful in the future.

The Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) had the maximum love to Allah (SWT). More faith we achieve, the more we love Allah.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 9 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

The most important thing a person must do in life is be very cautious about the circle of friends he/she has, and who they associate with. 

We need to be extremely picky and sensitive towards this. 

You need to advice your brother about the direction he is going, and how all this will affect his spirit and religious faith. Try to show him the bad effects of these people he is associating with, and how damaging something like an illegitimate relationship will be, and also alcohol. 

If your advice does not have any effect, try to ask someone he respects to intervene, inform your parents to calmly advice him, and just try your best to dissuade him. Seek advice from people around you as well, who know him.

Dua is also very important. Hopefully, he will come to his conscience and realise the wrong direction he is heading. Just never give up.

With prayers for your success. 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 11 months ago

It's good to choose friends who we want to be like and who we think are good influence on ourselves. We become like the people who we spend time with. 

If you feel your friends are bad influences on you, you should not spend time with them. It doesn't mean that you have to hate them, you can still wish well for them and pray for their well-being from a distance.

The human being is like a piece of clay being molded, we are affected by those who are around us who subconsciously mold us into what we are, so if we don't like what we are being molded into, it is good to choose other people to spend time around as much as we can!

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In Islam, severing ties with family and kin is haram and considered a major sin. As for a friend, there are many necessary requirements and conditions for a believer to take someone else as a friend. 

Friendship and Islamic brotherhood is extremely important, and we have many narrations that give us the guidelines of how selective we need to be with those who we associate with. We should be social, but never at the cost of exposing oneself to a morally polluted environment. 

As humans, we are easily influenced by our surroundings, as strong as we may be, and therefore we must always be cautious about who we mix with. Someone who is careless about what they say and uses foul language, or backbites, or lies, is certainly not the kind of person you should consider as a friend or associate with. 

Islamically, it is haram to be in the same gathering with someone who backbites, and you should stay away from such people. Of course, at first you should try to give advice and encourage them to be observant of what they say, but if that fails, then distance yourself. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

You should not invite them to your house as Islamic law strongly discourages or condemns the situation where a woman and a non-mahram male are alone together. (Whether you would be alone in the house or alone in a room.) There is no need for them to be at your house. This will prevent any sort of problems.

Also remember that your intentions are only your own, and you don't have any guarantee about what the other person is intending or experiencing. 

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I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is normal to re-evaluate how a marriage is going after 7 or 8 years and see if it is functioning well.

Life is (somewhat) about choices. If the marriage isn't working for you, Islamically speaking, the first step is to try to make it work (for instance, as mentioned, through communication or a marriage counselor, if he is willing). That said, it requires the interest and commitment of both people in a marriage for things to change.

If he isn't interested in changing, then you need to decide what you want for your own life and future, and whether to accept the situation as it is or to try to move on  (obviously, taking into account all factors, such as how the relationship is otherwise, financial matters, whether you have children and what you feel would be best for them, etc). While divorce is discouraged in Islam, and, statistically speaking, women tend to suffer more than men (financially and emotionally) after divorce, it is also not good to harm yourself or stunt your growth and potential if there is no greater good behind it.

This is ultimately a decision that you would have to make for yourself since no one is in your shoes and can fully understand your situation, especially if depression is a factor. 

I would suggest in any case - and I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries - that regardless of whether or not separation might be in the future, it is always healthy to have friends and associates who can be a safety net in a time of crisis. This is true both for yourself as an individual, but also for the family, as we never know what will happen - what if he were to suddenly be in a coma or something? If there is any way to make friendships, even online, it would be helpful not only psychologically but also on a practical level. 

(Indeed, in the current world situation, many of us are discovering the value of having a safety net.)

I would also point out as tactfully as possible that, oftentimes, when someone is extremely suspicious and untrusting, it is because they have things to hide, or else they have behaved questionably in the past. Otherwise, normal people are not usually extremely suspicious or untrusting. I am just putting that out there, and that may not at all be the case in your situation. It is just an observation about human psychology. 

Life sometimes doesn't have easy answers but prayer for guidance is also always a good start. 

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Trust is an important factor between spouses and without it, the relationship can become very damaged. Have you tried asking him why he doesn't trust you? If you haven't done anything for him to act this way then he could be overly paranoid based on his own insecurities.  Also he cannot unjustly control you such as preventing you from having believing female friends.

Try to be open with him and mention the damage this is doing. If you have already tried this or it doesn't work, try to get a trusted believer who can mediate or a trusted alim who is experienced in martial disputes to speak to you both or arrange a session. 

May Allah grant you success 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

You must be alerted and very careful from such person whom you think her a friend. If you want to continue your friendship with her, you must be clear and frank with her that she Must stop major sins. If she listens to you and leave committing major sins then you can cont8nue talking to her with being alert, but if insists on committing major sins, you Must leave her and stop dealing with her completely. Such bad friend can ruin you if you continue with her. Millions of people like you were ruined by such bad friends. It for you to decide to save yourself by leaving such bad friend, or ignoring the risk on you from her and continuing friendship with her, but you will definitely repent and feel very sad in the future.

Bad friend is a window to disastrous future and we must be brave enough to keep them away from our life before it is too late.

'Wassalam.

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 1 year ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. To love Allah is to prefer Him to all else in your life and to be attached to him more than your attachment to other things. Love is a connection that matters to you and as such the love of God can be compared to other types of love. Indeed, Allah compares His love to other types of love in the Qur'an (see 9:24 for example). We are naturally in love with God, but that is sometimes confused by our attachments to other types of love. To develop the love of God, some sacrifice is required. The ordinances of our religion help develop that love and among those ordinances is reflecting on the bounties that Allah has bestowed on us, both continually and at various points in our life. It is natural to love those who are good to us, then what about He who is the source of every good in our lives?

May you always be successful

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 year ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Firstly a Muslim female shouldn't have male non-mahram friends. So this is already out of the question. Yes, interaction with the opposite gender at the workplace for example is permitted. 

In regard to discussing private sexual matters with her female friends, this should be avoided. Unfortunately some women fall into this and divulge intimate details of their spouses. 
 

If the woman genuinely needs advice related to sexual matters, she can speak or ask in a general sense without making it specific to herself. 
 

May Allah grant you success