Adolescence

Adolescence is a transitional stage of physical and psychological development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to legal adulthood (age of majority). Adolescence is usually associated with the teenage years, but its physical, psychological or cultural expressions may begin earlier and end later.

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Parents . Life . Adolescence . Obedience

As a Muslim teenager, can I disobey my parents' decision about how I should lead my life when I turn 18? Do they have the right to control my life?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 6 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

I am sure you know that in Islam, becoming an "adult" is not defined by turning 18 or 21. We see maturity to be reaching the age of taklif, where we become religiously responsible and accountable.

As Muslims, we also know that obedience to parents has no age limit, and we show our utmost respect and reverence to our parents, as old as we get. The status of parents is above everything, and that is why you should not see it to be "control" in the negative sense.

Parents have authority over us, and in most, if not all cases, they want the best for us. As we grow, we must increase in our level of obedience to our parents, and cater for them as much as possible. We show this to ourselves, and to our children, so our children will learn from us. When we get old, we wont need to struggle, because we have shown our children the right Islamic way of how to treat elders.

You must not disobey your parents, and always try your best to comply to their requirements and keep them happy with your behaviour and what you do. Please read about what our religion says about parents and the abundant reward we get in this dunya and akhirah when we show our obedience to them.

Of course, we are talking about normal situations, but if one's parents are indeed evil, abusive and negatively controlling, then that would need to be dealt with in a wise way.

With prayers for your success.

103617

Backbiting . Adolescence . Forgiveness

I am a teenager and when I was young I did not know much about Gheebat. At times I have done backbiting of a person who is very much older than me in age. Is it required for me to go and ask him to forgive me?

Bismihi ta'ala

Although you might have been young, but you must have known that talking ill about someone is a bad thing. If this person is still alive, and you do see him, greet him, and just say 'forgive me if I have wronged you', without going into details.

I am sure he wont comment on anything, and answer in a positive way, and your conscience will be clear, in shaa Allah.

With prayers for your success.

47895

Western Society . Adolescence

How can you curb your sexual desire as a teenager living in the West where you are constantly exposed to women in provocative clothing?

Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answered 3 years ago

Unfortunately in our society youth are constantly bombarded by immorality and corruption and it has become very difficult for those who want to maintain an ethical-religious standard of life to keep up with their values. However Allah is great and He guides whom He wills, therefore put your trust in Him and never despair of His mercy. You may also look at the following factors that may protect you insh'Allah from misguidance and unwishful thoughts:

1) Keep yourself busy with a specific devotional program, pray on time, do not forget supererogatory acts and focus on your attitude, especially for Salat al-Fajr. Try to pay attention to Tahajjud and Salat al-Layl asking for help and forgiveness every night with great hope. During the day recite adhkar regularly that reminds you of Him, and seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan, the cursed one. In the morning commit yourself not to sin, along the day be watchful of yourself, and in the night valuate your own deeds before sleeping.

2) Attend good company and pious relatives and friends who remind you of Allah, His beauty and the purpose of His creation. Spend good time with them and try to imitate them in goodness and piety. They should have a good influence on you and perhaps you may have a good influence on them. Attend Islamic lectures and implement what you learn there, and ask advice from the upright and God-fearing scholars.

3) Start to seriously consider to get married so that an healthy conjugal life may keep yourself far from evil and indecency. The holy Qur'an says that Allah created husband and wife so that they may live with each other in love and compassion (31:21) and our noble Prophet have said: "When a man marries, he has protected half of his religion". If marriage is not possible for the time being, start to work for it, by trying to improve your financial status and by starting to look for the right person for your future marriage insh'Allah.

With prayers for your success.