Obedience

141200

Is it obligatory to obey the parents if they ask for something that they do not really need and that is beyond what is normal and necessary for them?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 weeks ago

You must always treat your parents in the best possible way of treatment and look after them and serve them to make them always happy with you. If they ask something which out of your ability, try to explain to them, but never hurt their feelings.

‘Wassalam

137362

Mother . Children . Obedience

If one's mother interferes and wants to control in almost all the things of the child's life who is 30 years old, how much must the child obey her?

Rebecca Masterton, Dr Rebecca Masterton graduated with a BA in Japanese Language and Literature; an MA in Comparative East Asian and African Literature and a PhD in Islamic literature of West Africa. She has been... Answer updated 1 month ago

Sometimes mothers find it hard to accept that their children are adults. If the child is now a man, then he needs to be respected as a man, and not emasculated and controlled by a woman, even if that woman is his mother. If the child is a woman, the mother needs to understand that by attempting to micromanage her daughter's life she is actually crippling her emotionally, and this will cause problems either with finding a husband for her daughter, or with her daughter's already existing marriage. According to the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (as), the respect due to parents is conditional upon how they treat their children. It is well known that according to ahadith, it is recommended that after the age of fourteen, the child should be treated as a 'friend', not as a seven-year-old. There is a non confrontational method of establishing boundaries called "grey rock", which you can find out more about on YouTube. You may also want to research "narcissistic" or "controlling" mothers, and something else called "emotional enmeshment". I will update this answer further with references inshaAllah.

Mother . Children . Obedience

If one's mother interferes and wants to control in almost all the things of the child's life who is 30 years old, how much must the child obey her?

You must tolerate and keep on tolerating no matter how much and how long your mother interferes or controls. Never show any reaction against her and avoid any word or less which can hurt your mother's feelings and dignity as your mother.

Wassalam.

127822

Woman . Husband . Obedience

Should a woman always obey her husband in everything even if it requires her getting harmed physically or emotionally?

Muslim woman has to obey her husband in good things only and not in bad things. Bad things mean unlawful acts and harmful acts. There is no obedience for any creature in disobeying The Creator, Allah.

Wassalam.

86552

Husband . Obedience

Must we obey our husband in all matters whether they relate to Wajib, Mustahab, Makruh or Mubah, or are there any exceptions?

Wife must obey her husband in matters which are permissible or recommended in Islam. Wife is not allowed to obey her husband if he orders her to leave an obligatory ( Wajib) or to do unlawful (Haraam).
Exceptions are there when she is unable to do what he wants from her for health reasons.

Wassalam.

91556

Woman . Obedience . Husband . Parents . Marriage . Mut'a (Temporary marriage)

After a woman gets married does obedience of her husband override that of her parents? Does the ruling differ for temporary and permanent marriages?

Husband's rights overrides parents' rights when both demand contradict. Wife must fulfill the rights of her husband after obeying Allah (SAWA). She has to always keep respecting and being nice to her parents.

Temporary marriage situation depends on the period agreed and the understanding between them. Short period marriage is not like long period marriage. In long period marriage wife needs to obey her husband as usual marriage but in short period marriage which was agreed just for sexual fulfilment, she has to fulfill her husband sexual needs then she is free in other matters of life like going out or working etc.

Wassalam.

123660

Transgressors . God (Allah) . Obedience . Dunya . Meaning

Does Allah intentionally will certain people to be transgressors since He says some people will disobey Him as the world will come to an end? Does that mean He wants them to disobey Him?

Allah never wants any one to do wrong, on the contrary, He showed every one the right way and the wrong way and ordered and encouraged to do good and avoid bad. Allah granted human beings the intellect and the option to do whatever they decide to do and He never forced any one to do good or bad.

Wrong doers do wrong out of their own option and decision. Allah never wants wrong. He orders us to do good and He helps every one who to do good.

Wassalam.

122921

Parents . Obedience

As a 17 year old, can I disobey my parents, as long as my choices are Islamically allowed and with good intentions, due to the fact that I have my own thoughts and reasonings?

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 11 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Although you are your own person, and you think independently, and might even be wise in your judgments, but this still does not allow you to disobey or defy your parents. It is always important to align your lifestyles and decisions along with what your parents would be happy with. If for some reason they dislike or refuse, negotiation is always better than showing insolence.

With prayers for your success.

121570

Husband . Obedience

My husband says I must obey him, but when I try and talk to him about what is bothering me about his action or treatment towards me and if I don't stop when he says so then he says that I'm disobeying and disrespecting him. What should I do?

Husband should give his wife all her rights as a wife and wife should also give her husband all his right as a husband. When you talk to your husband asking your rights, try you best to avoid any word which can hurt him or make feel disrespected by you. Select good words to convey what you want to tell him. If you see him starting to look annoyed,bayou should stop and postpone the matter. When you restart your talk, avoid those topics or words which can annoy him.

He should avoid harming or disrespecting you and you should avoid that as well.

Remember that your patience is a type of Jihad as the Hadeeth says: The Jihad of the wife is in being a good and tolerant wife.

Wassalam.

116776

Parents . Life . Adolescence . Obedience

As a Muslim teenager, can I disobey my parents' decision about how I should lead my life when I turn 18? Do they have the right to control my life?

Bismihi ta'ala

I am sure you know that in Islam, becoming an "adult" is not defined by turning 18 or 21. We see maturity to be reaching the age of taklif, where we become religiously responsible and accountable.

As Muslims, we also know that obedience to parents has no age limit, and we show our utmost respect and reverence to our parents, as old as we get. The status of parents is above everything, and that is why you should not see it to be "control" in the negative sense.

Parents have authority over us, and in most, if not all cases, they want the best for us. As we grow, we must increase in our level of obedience to our parents, and cater for them as much as possible. We show this to ourselves, and to our children, so our children will learn from us. When we get old, we wont need to struggle, because we have shown our children the right Islamic way of how to treat elders.

You must not disobey your parents, and always try your best to comply to their requirements and keep them happy with your behaviour and what you do. Please read about what our religion says about parents and the abundant reward we get in this dunya and akhirah when we show our obedience to them.

Of course, we are talking about normal situations, but if one's parents are indeed evil, abusive and negatively controlling, then that would need to be dealt with in a wise way.

With prayers for your success.

107530

Satan . Paradise . Hell . Obedience . God (Allah)

I understand that Satan was able to deceive Prophet Adam (as) in paradise, was Satan also able to see Hellfire and still chose to disobey Allah?

We don't have details whether Satan was able to see Hellfire or not but we know that he disobeyed Allah when Allah ordered him to prostrate to Adam. Satan was told that he and all those who will follow him will be in Hellfire (Sura 15, verses 42 and 43).

Wassalam.

104536

Parents . Hijab . Chastity . Clothing . Obedience

If one's parents like for them to appear beautiful by wearing clothes and Hijab in a way that attracts the eyes of men and women, would it be right to disobey them in this case if the daughter prefers complete chastity?

Bismihi ta'ala

There is a hadith that says:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

There is no obedience to a creation through disobedience to the Creator.

We cannot obey the laws of others at the cost of disobeying Almighty God. If hijab has been mandated by Almighty God, then we as His worshippers must comply to His law. So, we must not disobey God just to follow what someone else says, even if they are our parents whom we must obey. Our obedience to our parents is obligatory, but not in performing haram acts.

Clearly, in this case, the parents have a misconstrued approach to how their daughter should appear or conduct herself in public. They might be under the impression that by doing this, she will get married, but of course this is the worst way and its a very damaging approach.

The daughter should not comply with what her parents want, and respectfully decline, by explaining how unhealthy this approach is.

It's not just a matter of religion, but also on a human value and social level as well.

In Islam, attraction should not be by the gazing of onlookers, but by personality and moral qualities and righteousness.

With prayers for your success.