Father

Bismihi ta'ala

Loyalty and honouring one's word is the most valuable and most important of qualities a person can have. If your commitment to your word is weak, or you have no consideration to honouring your promise, what else is there? 

Both the female, and the male as well have a commitment to stay loyal and honour their agreement. Betraying this, and violating the promise or contract given is not only a major sin, but could also weaken the very relationship in the case they wish to pursue for marriage. It will always be hovering over them that they betrayed the amanah given to them. 

Yes, they can do what they are comfortable with, but stay within the permitter of the agreement.

If what you mean by "physical contact", as in no sexual intercourse, then they can have physical intimacy, but no penetration. This is a common condition fathers place, so this is left for consummation of marriage on wedding night. 

If what you mean by "physical contact" is no physical contact whatsoever, then I think this was an unfair condition, and they should speak to her father and explain that this is unrealistic. Or, they can decide if marriage is the best option for them, and hasten that. If, of course, they find each other to be compatible and happy with marriage. 

In any case, violating an agreement, especially if it is a condition in the contract is haram and sinful. 

Best thing to do is negotiate for a change. 

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

The fiqhi ruling for this is the same for any wali amr, and she would need the consent of her father, whether he is Muslim or not. This is in the case that she has not been married before and is not completely independent in everything she does (balighah/rashidah). 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismihi ta'ala

I think the initial response you would probably hear is be patient, he is probably under pressure, try not to take sides, and so on. 

However, if such a man has no consideration for religious teachings or moral conduct, then the only solution is authority. Once upon a time elders would intervene, and such a husband/father would be deterred and feel ashamed, resulting in stopping such behaviour. Unfortunately, our communities do not have that level of respect anymore. 

It starts with your mother, as she needs to have the courage and ability to leave him. She must know that by her staying in this relationship she is exposing her children to violence, trauma and irreversible damage. She probably comes from a mindset that no matter what, the husband/father can do anything, but this is extremely wrong and damaging. 

By contacting the authorities, although your mother, or even some family members would be upset with you, but you are stopping and preventing harm upon your mother and your siblings. 

The police, social workers, court, etc will be able to give something to him that you or your mother cannot, and that is help. He needs help, for anger management, maybe for mental stability. Maybe just a reminder that he cannot get away with this kind of oppressive behaviour, and so on. 

You will certainly be doing the right thing and bring this to an end.

These are my views on domestic violence and living with someone who systematically and continuously abuses family members. Of course, you should try to consult with someone close to you, and reach out for help, and also pray for your father as well. 

In shaa Allah other specialists in this forum will give suggestions and advice to you as well.

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

It is very important for us as parents to teach our children independence and self-reliance as early as possible. It is not only good for the child's personality, building their life skills and self-esteem, but it is also good for the parents as well.

We can see how Islam encourages us to categorise the different stages of growth a child goes through, and to cater to each stage in its correct way. 

If your child does not have any physical difficulties that would impede her from doing these things on her own, it is highly encouraged from now to start teaching her these things so she can do them on her own. 

The more you delay it, the more difficult it will be for her to learn. Start with toilet training, getting her to learn how to clean herself, on her own. Then gradually give her the confidence that she can shower by herself, and so on. 

As for sleeping, I am sure you know how important it is for each child to sleep separately, on their own. Try to read about this topic from the viewpoint expert child psychologists. 

With prayers for your success. 

Bismihi ta'ala

If you know that your brother would be ok with you using his amanah in a wise and responsible way, and that you would return it back to your brother once he asks for it, then you are allowed to lend that money to your father. 

And Allah knows best.

Bismihi ta'ala

Of course, it is indeed difficult when a son/daughter is faced with such a predicament of dealing with a difficult parent. It is usually inherent within a Muslim that we want to obey and be loyal to our parents.

However, there could be some parents, for whatever reason (mental, social, cultural), who become not just difficult to be with, but intolerable. 

This is all based on the assumption that your judgment, as a son/daughter is absolutely correct, and beyond any doubt based on true evaluation. The reason why I say this is because you might think your father is "dictatorial", but for the wrong reasons.

You might believe he is oppressing you because he doesn't allow you to go out with certain friends, or work in a certain field, or marry a certain individual. In these scenarios, or any other similar scenario, although you believe your father isnt being fair to you, it does not mean he is "dictatorial" or oppressing you. 

That's why circumstances would certainly be different, based on the case each family is in. 

Seeing that you have genuine requests, and legal requests, try to find other avenues of getting your father to cooperate and acknowledge your rights and your feelings. 

Maybe seek intervention, through family members, elders, family counselor, psychologist, and so on. 

You cannot just abandon your father, or disown him, but at the same time you cannot continue allowing your genuine requirements to be ignored. 

Ultimately, an effective tool is always for you to pray for him, and to pray for your situation. 

With prayers for your success.