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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 4 years ago
Sorry to hear you are going through that challenge.
My suggestion is to look online for some support groups for other people who are in a similar situation and see if you find any benefit from the advice and experiences they share.
Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago
Bismihi ta'ala
In Islam, self-pleasure is forbidden and there are many mental, emotional, moral and physical harms to such practices.
The husband has a shar'i and moral obligation of physical intimacy with his wife. If he does not do so, he is committing a sin and it will be grounds for divorce.
It is necessary for the husband to realise that physical intimacy is important for both sides, and will strengthen the bond between them. When he neglects the sexual needs of his wife, not only will she not feel valued, her heart will start drifting away from him.
It is not just a matter of sexual pleasure between the husband and wife, but also to avoid any damaging effects or practices. Besides the fact that it is haram, her masturbating is no solution at all.
If husband does not change his ways, they should seek intervention and visit a marriage counsellor.
Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 5 years ago
Bismillah
Thank you for your question. The cycle of porn and masturbation is a very difficult one to break, but at the same time it is a cycle that breaks masculinity. As such the first step is to really get to grips with why both porn and masturbation are bad for you and why they are such destructive habits that if not changed may rob you of a happy sex life in the future. The momentary guilt is not usually enough to break the cycle as the excitement after that guilt has passed will push you to repeat. As for porn the first step is to cut all access to porn and to put yourself in positions where you cannot really look at it, such as leaving your room door open, or facing your laptop such that family members walking by could see what is on the screen. And any other tactic that you can use to cut it out. For relapses you need consequences and to carry out those consequences. Such as a 10k run straight after. Some take a freezing cold shower every time they are about to consciously masterbate. These methods are hard but effective in really changing your psychology such that masturbation and porn are no longer attractive and you will think twice before doing them. But the key in kicking these habits is your determination. Do it for yourself and know that at the end what waits for you is your success in both worlds, your becoming in control of your destiny, your self respect and the respect of all those who know what its like to give up a destructive habit.
Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 5 years ago
Bismillah,
Asalamu Alaykom,
According to the narrations, masturbation is a sin and is compared to doing zina with oneself.
We have an example of when Imam Ali (as) had to discipline someone for doing so:
“Once a person was caught masturbating and was brought to Imam 'Ali. The Imam punished him by beating his hands until they turned red; then he made an arrangement for his marriage on government's expenses.
(Wasa'il, vol. 14, p. 267; vol. 18, pp. 574-5)”
Some non Muslim doctors and teachers may try to encourage such acts and say they are ‘healthy’ but such advice which contradicts the divine teachings is worthless.
Masturbation is usually associated with haram acts such as pornography and can turn into an unhealthy addiction which affects one both physically and psychologically.
A Muslim should try their upmost to have self control and dignity. Therefore, seeking marriage whether permanent or temporary is necessary to protect one’s private parts.
A husband or wife may mutually stimulate each other’s private parts; for example, the wife masturbating the husband and vice-versa. If they are away from each other then they cannot use their own hands for such an action until being together.
Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 5 years ago
Bismillah
Thank you for your question. Masturbation is a very difficult habit to kick and it is only with a lot of effort, difficulty and time that a person will be able to fully rid themselves of it. As such do not despair in a number of ways failing. You just have to keep trying those ways and different ways and keep praying to succeed. There are many others in a similar position to you and yet others who have been successful. So it is possible to stop. The best solution is marriage, however, marriage may not be a solution entirely. It will primarily be an act of will power in the end, so don't leave it until marriage.
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 years ago
Masturbation is a major sin and its punishment has been mentioned in many Hadeeths, that the sinner will come in the Day of Judgement with his hand which he used in masturbation, swollen like a mountain and will bedridden in front of all human beings.
Zina ( fornication) is another major sin, which is different from masturbation.
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 years ago
Masturbation using your hands or any part of your body is a sinful act, but if your wife uses her hands or any part of her body to masturbate you, it will be allowed for you and her. This can be done by wife to her husband as well as by husband to his wife when they are together.
Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 6 years ago
Bismillah,
Asalamu Alaykom,
The action itself is sinful even if ejaculation isn’t reached however it is ejaculation which would break the fast.
Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answer updated 6 years ago
Bismillah
Thank you for your question. Masturbating is a sin related to animalistic desires and so its punishment in the hereafter would be linked to that, as all sins have consequences and punishments that are suitable for them. Masturbation is a sin punishable in this world as well, and it is narrated that Imam Ali (as) punished a man for it by hitting his hand until it became red, and then got him married, paying for the marriage out of the treasury.
As for stopping, masturbation is a habit and like any other habit, stopping is a process, which requires determination and persistence. As a starting point a person should get rid of all aids, such as photos, movies, being on the wrong social media groups etc.
It is helpful if they can get married, or if not that they take up fasting on a regular basis. There are communities of people who are giving up frapping (another word for masturbation) so seeking support from such groups may be helpful for some. The most important thing is not to get discouraged if you slip, but to make sure that slips are as irregular as possible and to know that masturbation has a number of negative consequences, especially for a person's sex life later on. With determination many people have found their way out of frapping with a positive result on their lives and spirituality.
Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 6 years ago
Yes, Ghusl will be obligatory, although masturbation is a sinful act.
Wassalam.
Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 6 years ago
Bismihi ta'ala
Masturbation is haram, and the aforementioned situation would not exempt a man from conducting such an act.
He can either request assistance from his wife, if he is married, and if not, to find alternative halal methods, which he certainly will be able to find.
Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 6 years ago
Bismillah
Thank you for your question. Frapping is unfortunately a common practice among males due to the highly sexualised world that we live in. It is a habit that needs to be dealt with in a number of ways so what follows is not an exhaustive list but some suggestions on what to do.
1) It is very important to be clear about the harms of frapping both for your current mental state and for your future life with a partner. That is aside from the effects on your spirituality and faith as well as the punishment it induces in the next world. It is impotant to think about these so that you have a clear motivation to stop.
2) Ridding your environment of all aids and prerequisites that cause frapping. Turn on the parental locks on all your devices and make a consequences on yourself for breaking this rule in any way.
3) Realizing that breaking any habit is a process but that this specific habit should never be consciously repeated. Make this a rule for yourself. If you break it don't get so down that you stop the journey.
4) Fasting
5) Some people have recommended having a cold shower when making the ghusl after ejaculation, so as to build up an additional barrier to the act itself.
6) Although there are no specific duas i know of continual prayer is something that is absolutely necessary to reach any important goal in life.
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