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Responsibilities Of The Spouses

As it mentioned, the relationship between husband and wife is not like that of, colleagues, neighbors, or friends. They are a source of comfort and peace for each other.1 The Qur’an in a verse regarding husbands and wives states:

They (women) are a garment for you (men) and you are a garment for them.” (Qur’an, 2:187).

The portrayal of wife and husband as one another’s clothing reflects their close connection and relationship since clothes are the closest of things to one’s body and are greatly needed in order to protect one from heat and cold, to cover imperfections, and confer tranquility and beauty. Wife and Husband are also such in respect with each other and must necessarily be so. Indeed, they are both responsible for the welfare of the family and should engage in anything that is bound to promote marital life and preserve it.

Islam greatly favors fortification of the structure of family and decent relations between spouses, and thus it has designated specific rights and responsibilities for each. Some of these rights and responsibilities are common and pertain to both husband and wife. These are like tolerance, kindness, attracting the attentions of one’s spouse, and refraining from harassing, hurting, and irritating her/his spouse.

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If a man has a wife who harasses him, God will neither accept her ritual prayer (salat) nor any of her good deeds — until she has pleased him — even if she fasts and prays at all times, emancipates slaves, and gives away her wealth in charity for the sake of God. She will be the first to enter the Fire.” Then he said: “And the husband has the same burden and chastisement if he is a harasser and unjust [in his behavior towards his wife].”2

Responsibility Of The Husband

The Qur’an states:

The wives have rights similar to the obligations upon them, in accordance with honorable norms.” (Qur’an, 2:228).

Some of the rights of the wife, which are indeed the responsibilities of husband, are as follows.

A. Maintenance And Residence

The wife’s maintenance entails her incontestable right to food, drink, clothing, general care and a suitable home, even if she is wealthy. The husband is duty-bound to support his wife and ought to spend on her in accordance with his means without extravagance or miserliness, as the Qur’an states:

Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the men whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what God has given him. God puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him.” (Qur’an, 65:7).

He must spend on her in kindness, without ever implying that he is doing her favors or humiliating her in any way whatsoever. Indeed, such maintenance is not a favor but a duty he ought to discharge towards his wife in kindness, as the Qur’an clearly has exhorted him.

When a Muslim man fulfills his duty of supporting his wife and children, this act will be counted as an act of charity and Almighty God will reward him abundantly. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for God’s sake even if it were a morsel of food which you put in your wife’s mouth.”3 He also said: “The rights of a wife regarding her husband are that he must provide her nourishment and clothing and must not appear to her with an ugly face. If he does these, by God, surely he has satisfied her rights.”4

Those who refuse, or neglect their duty to spend on their families despite their ability to do so, committing a great sin for their negligence, as the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “A man who neglects those who are under his care would surely be committing a sin.”5 He also said: “Cursed, are those who neglect their dependents.”6

B. Teaching And Advising

Man must enjoin his family members to act rightly and forbid them to act inappropriately. He ought to strive hard to help them follow the path that leads to Paradise and avoid those paths that lead to Hellfire. Teaching them by precept and example, he can do so by acting on obeying God’s commands and avoiding things, He has prohibited. The wife must also advise her husband, guide him to the right path, and discuss with him ways of giving the best possible upbringing to their children. The Qur’an says:

O you, who believe, safeguard yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an, 66:6).

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said in this regard, “Every one of you is a guardian and is responsible for those in his custody.”7

C. Cleanliness And Adornment

A man must be neat and clean, perfumed and well dressed. He must style his hair and face regularly, and make himself handsome for his wife. Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) has cited the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) through his fathers, “Each of you must prepare yourselves for your wives; just as your wives prepare themselves for you.” Then Imam Al-Baqir (peace be upon him) stated, “This means that each of you must be neat and clean.”8

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said: “A Man’s duty to his wife is as the woman’s duty to her husband. He should adorn himself for his wife as she should adorn herself for him as long as they do not commit any sins.”9 Moreover, said: “Wash your clothes, shave your hair, brush your teeth, adorn yourself, for the children of Israel did not perform these rituals, and caused their wives to commit adultery.”10

Hasan ibn al-Jahm narrated, I saw Imam Al-Kazim (peace be upon him) who had dyed his hair. I said: “May I be sacrificed for you! You have dyed your hair!?” He replied, “Yes. Surely, the preparation of a husband for his wife increases her modesty [‘iffat]. Truly some women have abandoned their modesty because their spouses abandoned preparation.” Then he asked, “Do you like to see your wife the way you appear to her when you have not prepared yourself?” I answered, “No.” He declared, “She feels the same.”11

D. Attentiveness To Her Sexual Needs

Husbands and wives must not only think about their own pleasure in lovemaking; rather, they must also consider their partner’s pleasure and gratification. This is because regular sexual satisfaction has a significant effect on good relations between spouses and bolsters the constitution of the family.

Addressing men, the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) declared, “Whenever you approach your wives, do not hurry (in lovemaking).”12 He also said: “Whenever one of you has intercourse with his wife he should arouse her completely. If you have climaxed before her, do not leave until she has also climaxed.”13 Moreover, he said: “It is ill-mannered that man has intercourse with his wife while she is not ready. He should play with her and kiss her first. Do not approach your wife like animals.”14 According to another Hadith, Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) stated, “Your wives expect from you similar to that which you expect from them.”15

The husband is recommended to spend the night with his wife and must observe the equal division of nights between co-wives in cases of polygamy.

The important point is that as the Qur’an says: spouses are like the garment and should save each other, 16 so the husband and wife must not talk to others about their spouse’s particularities and bedroom secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The worst person in the eyes of God on the Day of Judgment is that couple who have an intimate relationship with each other and the man then reveals their bedroom secrets to others.”17

Do not Think About Another Woman!

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “Do not approach your wife while you think about another woman, because I fear if God gives you a child he may be epicene or effeminate and crazy.”18

E. Honoring The Conditions Stipulated By The Wife

The husband must honor the marriage contract and fulfill the conditions stipulated in it.
If the wife makes a stipulation at the time of concluding the marriage contract, such as having a particular kind of accommodation or expense and the husband agrees to such a condition, he must fulfill such an obligation, for a marriage contract is one of the most solemn agreements and obligations. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “Of all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled.”19

F. Defending Her, Representing His Honor

When a man marries a woman, she becomes his "honor" which he must stubbornly defend even if he gets killed in the process, as the Prophet said: “Whoever is killed defending his family is a martyr.”20

G. Good Behavior

Showing good character, kindness, gentleness in word and deed and putting up with the occasional faults and negligence can be considered as one of the responsibilities of spouses towards each other. The Qur’an states:

Live together with them courteously and in kindness. If you dislike them, it may well be that you dislike something in which God has placed a lot of good.” (Qur’an, 4:19).

The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The believers who have perfect faith are those with the best character, and the best of them are those who treat their women the best.”21 He also said: “The closest of you to me is the one who is best in character and is excellent to his family.”22

A man must make allowances for women’s nature, which is obviously different from that of men; he must also try to look at life from all sides, considering the advantages and disadvantages of his wife, for no one is free from faults. Both spouses must exercise patience and take into account the positive aspects of each other’s personality, as the Qur’an says:

And to forgo is nearer to God-wariness; so do not forget generosity and grace among yourselves. Indeed God sees best what you do.” (Qur’an, 2:237).

The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) also said in this respect, “A believer must not harbor any rancor against a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will certainly be pleased with another.”23

Islam urges men to treat women with kindness, pointing their attention to the fact that women’s emotional and psychological nature is different from that of men, that such differences between men and women are in fact, complementary and must in no way give rise to discord and eventual divorce. Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “A Female is a pleasant-smelling flower, not a servant, so in every situation tolerate her, and be a good companion to her for then your life will be pleasing.”24

Even in marital problems, a man should not engage in aggressive or hostile actions against his wife. The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his progeny) said: “If anyone beats a woman oppressively I will be his enemy in the Hereafter. Do not beat your wives, because if anyone beats his wife verily he has disobeyed God and His messenger.”25 He also said: “I am truly astonished at the man who beats his wife when he is more deserving of the beating than her.”26

Moreover, he said: “Be ashamed of beating your wife as a slave; for you beat her in the morning and then embrace (sleep with) her at night! Are you not ashamed?27 The Messenger of God himself (as his wife, Aisha has narrated), never hit a woman with his hand, nor a man except when fighting in the path of God.28

To solve marital problems, Islam has proposed some ways, including the following:

• Disputes may be solved through constructive dialogue, advice, and reasonable consultation in order to correct mistakes.

• In cases of rebellion, disloyalty, and ill conduct, the husband may stop talking to her, but without exceeding three days; if this course of action does not seem to work, then he may temporarily abandon her in bed or abstain from the usual sexual intimacy, but without leaving the house.

• The last way is punishment. Of course, this does not mean corporal punishment and beating, as the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has said: “Do not beat your wives with a stick, because it causes retribution, but punish them with hunger (non-payment of maintenance).”29

The Qur’an says:

“As for those wives whose misconduct you fear, [first] advise them, and [if ineffective] keep away from them in the bed, and [as the last resort] punish them. Then if they obey you, do not seek any course [of action] against them. Indeed God is all-exalted, all-great.” (Qur’an, 4:34).

There are many traditions about love and kindness with the wife. Some of them are as follows.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said:

• “The archangel Gabriel brought down so much advice with regard to the [treatment of the] woman that I thought divorcing her must never be an option unless she has committed adultery.”30

• “A man’s telling his wife “I love you” never leaves her heart.”31

• “Be careful of two weak groups, orphan, and woman; so that the best of you is the one who is best with his wife.”32

• “A man’s sitting beside his family is more beloved in the sight of God than his spending the night in worship in this mosque of mine.”33

• “The servant of God, who increases in belief, will increase in love for his spouse.”34

• “The best of you is the best to his family, and I’m the best to my family. The one who honors women is an honorable man, and the one who insults them, is a wretched.”35

• “My brother Gabriel, (peace be upon him) used to advise me about women to such an extent, that I thought the husband does not have even the right to say "Fie" to his wife. He told me: “O Muhammad be wary of God about women for they are trusts from God unto you. Be kind to them and satisfy their heart to stay with you. It is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given your wives unless with their content and permission.’”36

As a conclusion, it can be said that the prosperity of the family depends on the behavior of a man with his wife. Taking care of one’s wife is like the duty of a woman towards her husband, which is regarded to be at the same level as Jihad,37 is also regarded as a man’s best and most valuable act. The husband must treat his wife in a way that she turns into an angel-like character. He must find out about his wife’s behavior and her desires and must program his life according to her wishes and righteous requests. He can through his own manners and attitude, influence her in a way that interests her in her family life.

Responsibility Of The Wife

A. Obedience

The family is an important social unit whose orderly construction depends on sound discipline and efficient organizing. As there should be someone entrusted to shoulder responsibility over his beloved family and undertake the task of guidance and leadership within its prescribed limits, Almighty God has, therefore, authorized the husband to be obeyed and given him the upper hand over his wife and children, until they come of age.

The purpose of obedience in the relationship is to keep the family unit running as smoothly as possible. The man has been given the right to be obeyed (only with regard to matters that fall under the husband rights) is not because he is the absolute superior but because he is the leader of the family, and if a leader is not obeyed, his leadership will become invalid. The Qur’an says:

Men have charge of women because God has preferred the one above the other and because they spend their wealth on them. So righteous women are obedient, care taking in the absence [of their husbands] of what God has enjoined them to guard. ” (Qur’an, 4:34).

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) in response to a question about the duty of a woman towards her husband said: “She should obey his orders and must not violate his orders.”38 He also said: “The rights of the husband upon the wife are that … she should not make him angry and should obey him and fulfill her promises ….”39

To show the importance of this obedience the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If I was in a position to command anyone to prostrate in front of anyone else, I would command the woman to prostrate in front of her husband.”40 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “Cursed! Cursed indeed is the woman who troubles and distresses her husband, and blessed is the woman who honors her husband, does not trouble him and obeys him in all matters.”41

This authority and obedience, however, is under the condition that man may not issue orders contradicting the commands of religion and its principles. If he orders his family to commit a sinful act, his right lapse and he should not be obeyed. A tradition says, “No creature should be obeyed in disobeying the Creator.”42

B. Protecting His Home, Wealth, And Children

The man is usually the supporter of the family. He works hard and spends his earning on his wife and children. He regards this as his duty and does not ever show his displeasure in his hardship. However, man expects his wife to economize and to classify the necessities and spend on the priorities. In another word, the husband should make the necessary arrangements for the household, and the wife should protect his property during his absence. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) stated, “A woman is a protector and trustee of her husband’s wealth and as such is responsible.”43

Based on Islamic laws, (legally speaking) the wife is not responsible for housekeeping, cooking, cleaning etc., and even it is not compulsory for her to suckle her children, attend them, or nurse them unless the husband states such responsibilities in the conditions of the marriage agreement. Of course, Islam renders these affectionate acts for the woman and considers them good deeds and a way of approaching God.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “No Muslim got a better benefit from Islam than a Muslim wife who pleases her husband, obeys his orders, and protects his honor and his property during his absence.”44 It has been narrated from Imam Al-Ridha’ (peace be upon him) the same words, “There is nothing more beneficial to a servant than a virtuous wife whom seeing her made her husband happy and when he is not with her, she saves herself and his property.”45

C. Attracting His Attentions

Husbands and wives must observe each other’s desires in cleanliness, clothing, the style of their hair and beard, etc.
Islam advises women at home to apply cosmetics and adorn themselves for their husbands, wear their best clothes, be neat and clean, and apply fragrant perfumes.

A woman came to the Prophet of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) and asked, “What are the rights of a husband regarding his wife?” He replied, “Her duty is to perfume herself with the best scenting of her perfumes, and to dress in the nicest of her attires, and adorn herself with the finest of her adornments, and thus offer herself to her husband morning and night.”46 He always urged his daughters not to approach their spouses unless they wash themselves and be clean.47

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: “A Muslim woman must perfume herself for her husband.”48 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) stated, “Woman should not give up adornment, be it only with a necklace. She should adorn her hands (with henna). Even an old woman should not give up adornment.”49

Islam, which encourages the woman to pay attention to her beauty, appearance and adornment for her husband and to show affection to him, at the same time prohibits her from doing the same for others except for her husband, because it would create psychological separation between the couple and drive the woman to deviation, shamelessness and faithlessness. Besides, it creates tension, mistrust, and hatred in the heart of the husband, and finally destroys the family noble edifice.

Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “The best of your women is one who is obedient towards her husband, adorns herself for her husband, but does not reveal her adornment to strangers; and the worst of your women is one who adorns herself for others in the absence of her husband.”50 He also said: “It is allowed for a woman to show her wrists and legs only to her husband and nobody else. If she shows them to the strangers, she will be upon the wrath and the curse of God forever and God shall be wrathful at her and the angels of God will curse her, and God will prepare a grievous punishment for her.”51 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) stated, “If a woman uses perfume for other than her husband, God would not accept her prayer until she washes it away as she washes pollution from herself.”52

D. Attentiveness To His Sexual Needs

Even though seeking pleasure and sexual gratification is not the whole aim of marriage, it is one of the chief goals and initial motivators for marriage and has a considerable effect in strengthening the structure of the family and preserving a good relationship between spouses. Hence, gratification is one of the responsibilities of husbands and wives and they must be prepared to give each other sexual pleasure and gratification. Whenever one party is inclined to sexual acts, the other must prepare themselves and not bring excuses. Especially the wife must not refuse her husband sexually as this can lead to marital problems and worse still, may tempt the man to adultery. Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) has instructed women as follows, “Do not lengthen your Prayer to forestall your husbands (from sexual pleasure).”53

Moreover, he said: “It is not permitted for a woman to sleep, except that she presents herself to her husband before sleeping. Takes off her garments, lies in bed with him, and hugs him.”54 Imam Al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) said: “The best of your women is one who takes off the clothes of modesty and shame when she is alone with her husband.”55

A Muslim woman must be attentive to her husband’s sexual needs and should pay proper attention to her makeup and appearance, to attract the husband and respond to his sexual inclinations, since this is quite effective in pulling the man to his wife and strengthening the relations of love between them. She should provide him with ways of enjoying her beauty, satisfy his desires, and prevent him the temptation of throwing himself into the traps of forbidden desires. If she refuses to respond to his legitimate sexual needs, she would be committing a sin, unless there is a legitimate excuse, such as being on her menses, making up an obligatory fast, or being sick.

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses, and then he spends the night angry with her, the angels will continue to curse her until the morning.”56

The Qur’an briefly states the right of enjoying one’s wife, by saying,

Your women are tillage for you (to cultivate) so go to your tillage whenever you like and send ahead for yourselves, and be aware of God. (Qur’an, 2:223).

According to this verse, the Qur’an confirms man’s right to enjoy his wife in diverse ways, as she, too, has the right to enjoy this relationship. Islam has devised ways for both husband and wife to enjoy themselves according to their respective rights so that there can be neither oppression nor exploitation of the woman because of man’s extravagance or misuse.

E. Good Behavior

In order to provide an atmosphere of love and stability for the husband, the wife is to do away with all causes of unrest, disgust and whatever may disturb the peace of the family. This can be achieved by showing affection and amity to the husband and by infusing the home atmosphere with feelings of love, joy, and kindness. A man may not see in his wife, nor hear from her, what he hates to see and hear.

The more the sense of beauty grows in one’s self, the more one’s need for love and affection is satisfied and the less the causes of trouble, boredom, frustration, bitterness, hatred, etc. Thus, such a harmonious family life full of love, joy, and affection would certainly have its effects on the behavior of its members. Contrary to a miserable and unhappy family, where the husband leads a life of hatred, tension, repulsion, and ill temper, thereby bringing ruin to the family. Such environments badly affect the children, causing them to be complex and miserable, or even pushing them to be aggressive, irresponsible and lead a vagabond life.

Islam urges the wife to be the source of love, beauty, peace, and security in the house and advises her to endeavor to create a tightly knit family life full of harmony and affection. A man said to the Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny), “I have a wife who welcomes me at the door when I enter the house and sees me off when I leave. When she sees me grieved, asks me, “What are you grieved for? If you are anxious about your livelihood, it is guaranteed by other than you; or if you are worried about your hereafter life, may God increase your worries.”

The Messenger of God (peace be upon him and his pure progeny) said: “God has agents and she is one of them. She will get half a martyr’s reward.”57 He also said: “The best of your women is … the affectionate, the chaste, the endeared of her family, the humble to her husband, fortified against other than him, ….”58

There are many other traditions about how to behave with the husband. We mention some of them:

• “A woman’s quenching of her husband’s thirst with a glass of water is better for her than a whole year spent fasting during the day and praying at night.”59

• “There are three groups of women whom God will protect from the torment of the grave and will be gathered with Fatimah, (the daughter of the Prophet) in heaven; The woman who is patient through jealousy of her husband, the woman who is patient through petulancy of her husband and the woman who offers her dowry to her husband.”60

• “God blesses the man who arises at midnight and prays and then wakes his wife to pray. Similarly, God blesses the woman who arises at midnight and prays! Then wakes her husband to pray.”61

• “If a woman bothers her husband through her words, God will not accept any remedy or any of her good deeds until she satisfies her husband.”62

• “God does not look at the woman who is unappreciative of her husband whilst being in need of him.”63

• “It is not permissible for a woman to put something which is beyond her husband’s power on his shoulders. She should not complain about him to anyone of God’s creatures, neither to her relatives nor to strangers.”64

• “Any woman who reproaches her husband for her property and says, “you are my dependent!’ God will not accept any charity from her until she pleases her husband.’”65

• “If a wife expresses to her husband: ‘I have not received any goodness from you!’ Verily she is void of her good deeds.”66

In summary, it can be said that the task of a wife is to maintain and take care of her husband. For a woman to be a successful wife, she should win over her husband’s heart and be a source of comfort to him. She should obey him in permissible affairs and at the same time encourage him to do good deeds while dissuading him from bad ones. She should also provide adequate measures to maintain his health and well-being and should protect his property. Moreover, she must be attentiveness to his sexual needs. The results of her efforts are directed towards making the man into a kind and respected husband who would be a proper guardian for his family, and a lovely father for his children.

And the end of our prayer is:
Praise be to God, the Lord of the worlds!”
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you His favor
and give you His peace.
  • 1. Allusion to the Qur’an; 30:21.
  • 2. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 20, p. 163.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَن كانَ لَهُ امرَأةٌ تُؤذِيهِ لَم يَقبَلِ اللّهُ صلاتَها و لا حَسَنَةً مِن عَمَلِها حتّى تُعِينَهُ و تُرضِيَهُ و إن صامَتِ الدَّهرَ ... و على الرَّجُلِ مِثلُ ذلكَ الوِزْرِ و العَذابِ إذا كانَ لَها مُؤذِيا ظالِما».
  • 3. Jami’a al-Sadat, vol. 2, p. 139 & al-Bukhari, no. 56 & 3936.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «وَلَسْتَ بِنَافِقٍ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ، إِلَّا آجَرَكَ اللَّهُ بِهَا حَتَّى اللُّقْمَةَ تَجْعَلُهَا فِي فِي امْرَأَتِكَ».
  • 4. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 254.
    قَالَ رسولُ اللَّه:‏ «حَقُّ الْمَرْأَةِ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا أَنْ‏ يَسُدَّ جَوْعَتَهَا وَ أَنْ يَسْتُرَ عَوْرَتَهَا وَ لَا يُقَبِّحَ لَهَا وَجْهاً فَإِذَا فَعَلَ ذَلِكَ فَقَدْ وَ اللَّهِ أَدَّى حَقَّهَا».
  • 5. Al-Kafi, vol. 4, p. 12.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ إِثْماً أَنْ‏ يُضَيِّعَ‏ مَنْ‏ يَعُولُهُ».
  • 6. Al-Kafi, vol. 4, p. 12.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَلعونٌ مَلعونٌ مَن ضَيَّعَ مَن يَعولُ».
  • 7. Nahj al-Fasahah, p. 611.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كُلُّكُمْ‏ رَاعٍ‏ وَ كُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُولٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِه‏».
  • 8. Al-Jafariyat, p. 28.
    قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«لِيَتَهَيَّأْ أَحَدُكُمْ‏ لِزَوْجَتِهِ‏ كَمَا تَتَهَيَّأُ زَوْجَتُهُ لَهُ». قَالَ جَعْفَرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ 7: «يَعْنِي يَتَهَيَّأُ بِالنَّظَافَةِ».
  • 9. Al-Ferdos, vol. 5, p. 521.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «يَجِبُ عَلَى الرَّجُلِ لِامرَأَتِهِ ما يَجِبُ لَهُ عَلَيها؛ أن يَتَزَيَّنَ لَها كَما تَتَزَيَّنُ لَهُ في غَيرِ مَأثَمٍ».
  • 10. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 6, p. 640.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «اِغسِلوا ثِيابَكُم ، وخُذوا مِن شُعورِكُم ، وَاستاكوا ، وتَزَيَّنوا ، وتَنَظَّفوا ؛ فَإِنَّ بَني إسرائيلَ لَم يَكونوا يَفعَلونَ ذلِكَ فَزَنَت نِساؤُهُم».
  • 11. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 567.
    عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ جَهْمٍ قَالَ: رَأَيْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ: «اخْتَضَبَ فَقُلْتُ جُعِلْتُ فِدَاكَ اخْتَضَبْتَ فَقَالَ نَعَمْ إِنَّ التَّهْيِئَةَ مِمَّا يَزِيدُ فِي عِفَّةِ النِّسَاءِ وَ لَقَدْ تَرَكَ النِّسَاءُ الْعِفَّةَ بِتَرْكِ أَزْوَاجِهِنَّ التَّهْيِئَةَ ثُمَّ قَالَ أَ يَسُرُّكَ أَنْ تَرَاهَا عَلَى مَا تَرَاكَ عَلَيْهِ إِذَا كُنْتَ عَلَى غَيْرِ تَهْيِئَةٍ قُلْتُ لَا قَالَ فَهُوَ ذَاكَ».
  • 12. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 567.
    قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِذَا أَرَادَ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْتِيَ أَهْلَهُ فَلَا يُعَجِّلْهَا».
  • 13. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 344.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إذا جامَعَ أحَدُكُم أهلَهُ فَليَصدُقها ، ثُمَّ إذا قَضى حاجَتَهُ قَبل أن تَقضِيَ حاجَتَها فَلا يَعجَلها حَتّى تَقضِيَ حاجَتَها».
  • 14. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 9, p. 36.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «ثَلاثَةٌ مِنَ الجَفاءِ : . . . وأن يَكونَ بَينَ الرَّجُلِ وأهلِهِ وِقاعٌ مِن غَيرِ أن يُرسِلَ رَسولاً؛ المِزاحَ وَالقُبَلَ . لا يَقَع أحَدُكُم عَلى أهلِهِ مِثلَ البَهيمَةِ».
  • 15. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 59. P. 327.
    عن الرضَا: «... وَ اشْتَهَتْ‏ مِنْكَ‏ مِثْلَ‏ الَّذِي تَشْتَهِيهِ مِنْهَا».
  • 16. Allusion to the Qur’an; 2:187.
  • 17. Al-Muslim, no: 1437.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، الرَّجُلَ يُفْضِي إِلَى امْرَأَتِهِ، وَتُفْضِي إِلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يَنْشُرُ سِرَّهَا».
  • 18. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 552.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا تُجامِعِ امرَأَتَكَ بِشَهوَةِ امرَأَةِ غَيرِكَ، فَإِنّي أخشى إن قُضِيَ بَينَكُما وَلَدٌ أن يَكونَ مُخَنَّثا أو مُؤَنَّثا مُخَبَّلاً».
  • 19. Al-Bukhari, no. 5151.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أَحَقُّ مَا أَوْفَيْتُمْ مِنَ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ تُوفُوا بِهِ مَا اسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ».
  • 20. Wasa’il al-Shia, vol. 15, p. 120.
    قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«مَنْ قُتِلَ دُونَ عِيَالِهِ‏ فَهُوَ شَهِيدٌ».
  • 21. Al-Amali , p. 392.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ أَكْمَلَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ إِيمَاناً أَحْسَنُهُمْ خُلُقاً، وَ خِيَارُكُمْ‏ خِيَارُكُمْ‏ لِنِسَائِهِمْ».
  • 22. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 68, p. 387.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أقرَبُكُم مِنّي مَجلِسا يَومَ القِيامَةِ أحسَنُكُم خُلُقا وخَيرُكُم لِأَهلِهِ».
  • 23. Al-Muslim, no: 1469.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ».
  • 24. Al-Faqih, v. 3, p. 556.
    قال امام علی: «الْمَرْأَةَ رَيْحَانَةٌ وَ لَيْسَتْ بِقَهْرَمَانَةٍ فَدَارِهَا عَلَى كُلِّ حَالٍ وَ أَحْسِنِ الصُّحْبَةَ لَهَا لِيَصْفُوَ عَيْشُكَ».
  • 25. Irshad Al-Qulub, vol. 1, p. 175.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «مَنْ ضَرَبَ امْرَأَةً بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ فَأَنَا خَصْمُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ لَا تَضْرِبُوا نِسَاءَكُمْ فَمَنْ ضَرَبَهُمْ بِغَيْرِ حَقٍّ فَقَدْ عَصَى اللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَه‏».
  • 26. Jamia al-Akhbar, p. 158 & Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 249.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إنّي لَأتَعَجَّبُ مِمَّن يَضرِبُ امرَأتَهُ و هُو بِالضَّربِ أولى مِنها».
  • 27. Al-Bukhari, no. 4658.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أما يَستَحي أحَدُكُم أن يَضرِبَ امرَأَتَهُ كَما يَضرِبُ العَبدَ؛ يَضرِبُها أوَّلَ النَّهارِ ثُمَّ يُضاجِعُها آخِرَهُ ؟ أما يَستَحي».
  • 28. Tabaqat Ibn-Sad, vol. 1, p. 367.
  • 29. Bihar al-anwar, vol. 100, p. 249.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَا تَضْرِبُوا نِسَاءَكُمْ بِالْخَشَبِ فَإِنَّ فِيهِ الْقِصَاصَ وَ لَكِنِ اضْرِبُوهُنَ‏ بِالْجُوع»‏.
  • 30. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 253.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «ما زالَ جَبرَئيلُ يُوصِينِي بالمرأةِ حتّى ظَنَنتُ أنَّهُ لا يَنبَغِي طَلاقُها إلاّ مِن فاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ» .
  • 31. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 569.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «قَولُ الرَّجُلِ للمرأةِ : «إنّي اُحِبُّكِ» لا يَذهَبُ مِن قَلبِها أبدا».
  • 32. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 76, p. 268.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «اِتَّقُوا اللّه َ في الضَّعِيفَينِ : اليَتيمِ و المرأةِ، فإنَّ خِيارَكُم خِيارُكُم لِأهلِهِ».
  • 33. Tanbih al-Khawater, vol. 2, p. 122.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «جُلوسُ المَرءِ عندَ عِيالِهِ أحَبُّ إلى اللّه ِتعالى مِنِ اعتِكافٍ في مَسجِدِي هذا».
  • 34. Aljafariyat, p. 90.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «كُلَّمَا ازدادَ العَبدُ إيمانا ، اِزدادَ حُبّا لِلنِّساءِ».
  • 35. Nahj al-Fasaha, p. 472.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «خَيرُكُم خَيرُكُم لِأَهلِهِ، وأنا خَيرُكُم لِأَهلي. ما أكرَمَ النِّساءَ إلّا كَريمٌ، و ما أهانَهُنَّ إلّا لَئيمٌ».
  • 36. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 252.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أخبَرَني أخي جَبرَئيلُ ـ ولَم يَزَل يُوصيني بِالنِّساءِ حَتّى ظَنَنتُ ألّا يَحِلَّ لِزَوجِها أن يَقولَ لَها : اُفٍّ ـ يا مُحَمَّدُ ، اِتَّقُوا اللّه َ عَزَّ وجَلَّ فِي النِّساءِ ، فَإِنَّهُنَّ عَوانٌ بَينَ أيديكُم ، أخَذتُموهُنَّ عَلى أماناتِ اللّه ِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ … ، فَأَشفِقوا عَلَيهِنَّ ، وطَيِّبوا قُلوبَهُنَّ حَتّى يَقِفنَ مَعَكُم ، ولا تَكرَهُوا النِّساءَ ولا تَسخَطوا بِهِنَّ ، ولا تَأخُذوا مِمّا آتَيتُموهُنَّ شَيئا إلّا بِرِضاهُنَّ وإذنِهِنَّ».
  • 37. See al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 9.
    فِي حَدِيثٍ: «جِهَادُ الْمَرْأَةِ حُسْنُ‏ التَّبَعُّلِ».‏
  • 38. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 248.
    جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّه فَقَالَتْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا حَقُّ الزَّوْجِ عَلَى الْمَرْأَةِ فَقَالَ لَهَا «تُطِيعُهُ وَ لَا تَعْصِيه‏».
  • 39. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, v. 14, p. 244.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: لِلرَّجُلِ عَلَى المَرأَةِ أن … تَجتَنِبَ سَخَطَهُ وتَتَّبِعَ مَرضاتَهُ ، وتوفي بِعَهدِهِ ووَعدِهِ.
  • 40. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لَو أمَرتُ أحَدا أن يَسجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ لَأَمَرتُ المرأةَ أن تَسجُدَ لِزَوجِها».
  • 41. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p. 253.
    قال الإمامُ الصادق: «مَلعونةٌ مَلعونةٌ امرأةٌ تُؤذِي زَوجَها و تُغِمُّهُ ، و سَعيدةٌ سَعِيدةٌ امرأةٌ تُكرِمُ زَوجَها و لا تُؤذِيهِ و تُطِيعُهُ في جَميعِ أحوالِهِ».
  • 42. Nahj Al-Balagha, p. 500, Wisdom: 165.
    قال علیٌ: «لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ‏ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِق».‏
  • 43. Al-Mustadrak, vol. 14, p. 248.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «المَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ عَلَي‏ مَالِ‏ زَوْجِهَا وَ مَسْئُولَةٌ عَنْه‏».
  • 44. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 327.
    قَالَ النَّبِيُّ: «مَا اسْتَفَادَ امْرُؤٌ مُسْلِمٌ فَائِدَةً بَعْدَ الْإِسْلَامِ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ مُسْلِمَةٍ تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا وَ تُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَهَا وَ تَحْفَظُهُ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا فِي نَفْسِهَا وَ مَالِهِ».
  • 45. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 327.
    قال الرضا: «ما أفادَ عَبدٌ فائدَةً خَيرا مِن زَوجَةٍ صالِحَةٍ، إذا رَآها سَـرَّتْهُ، و إذا غابَ عَنها حَفِظَتْهُ في نَفسِها و مالِهِ».
  • 46. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
    يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا حَقُ‏ الزَّوْجِ‏ عَلَى‏ الْمَرْأَةِ؟ قَالَ: «... وَ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَطَيَّبَ بِأَطْيَبِ طِيبِهَا وَ تَلْبَسَ أَحْسَنَ ثِيَابِهَا وَ تَزَيَّنَ بِأَحْسَنِ زِينَتِهَا وَ تَعْرِضَ‏ نَفْسَهَا عَلَيْهِ غُدْوَةً وَ عَشِيَّةً».
  • 47. Al-Marasil, p. 187, no. 217.
    أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ كَانَ إِذَا زَوَّجَ بَنَاتِهِ أَمَرَ أَنْ لَا يَقْرَبُهُنَّ أَزْوَاجُهُنَّ حَتَّى يَغْتَسِلْنَ، وَيَأْمُرُ أَزْوَاجَهُنَّ بِذَلِكَ».
  • 48. Al-Khisal, vol. 2, p. 621.
    الإمام عليّ: «لِتَطَيَّبِ المَرأَةُ المُسلِمَةُ لِزَوجِها».
  • 49. Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 100, p 260.
    قال الامام الصادق: «لَا يَنْبَغِي لِلْمَرْأَةِ أَنْ تُعَطِّلَ نَفْسَهَا وَ لَوْ أَنْ تُعَلِّقَ فِي عُنُقِهَا قِلَادَةً وَ لَا يَنْبَغِي لَهَا أَنْ تَدَعَ يَدَهَا مِنَ الْخِضَابِ ... وَ لَوْ كَانَتْ مُسِنَّة».
  • 50. Bihar al-Anwar, vol 100, p 235.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الذَّلِيلَةَ مَعَ بَعْلِهَا الْمُتَبَرِّجَةَ مِنْ زَوْجِهَا الْحَصَانَ عَنْ غَيْرِهِ الَّتِي تَسْمَعُ قَوْلَهُ وَ تُطِيعُ أَمْرَهُ ... إِنَّ مِنْ شَرِّ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الَّتِي لَا تَتَوَرَّعُ مِنْ قَبِيحٍ الْمُتَبَرِّجَةَ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا بَعْلُهَا».
  • 51. Al-Mustadrak, vol. 14, p. 242.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِامرَأةٍ أن تُظهِرَ مِعصَمَها وقَدَمَها لِرَجُلٍ غَيرِ بَعلِها، وإذا فَعَلَت ذلِكَ لَم تَزَل فى لَعنَةِ اللّه ِ وسَخَطِهِ، وغَضِبَ اللّه ُ عَلَيها، ولَعَنَتها مَلائِكَةُ اللّه ِ، وأعَدَّ لَها عَذابا أليما».
  • 52. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 507.
    قال امام الصادق: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ تَطَيَّبَت لِغَيرِ زَوجِها ، لَم تُقبَل مِنها صَلاةٌ حَتّى تَغتَسِلَ مِن طيبِها.»
  • 53. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 508.
    قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه لِلنِّسَاءِ: «لَا تُطَوِّلْنَ‏ صَلَاتَكُنَّ لِتَمْنَعْنَ أَزْوَاجَكُنَّ».
  • 54. Makarim Al-Akhlaq, vol. 1, p. 508, no. 1766.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِامرَأَةٍ أن تَنامَ حَتّى تَعرِضَ نَفسَها عَلى زَوجِها؛ تَخلَعَ ثِيابَها، وتَدخُلَ مَعَهُ في لِحافِهِ فَتُلزِقَ جِلدَها بِجِلدِهِ، فَإِذا فَعَلَت ذلِكَ فَقَد عَرَضَت».
  • 55. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 324.
    عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّه قَالَ: «خَيْرُ نِسَائِكُمُ الَّتِي إِذَا خَلَتْ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا خَلَعَتْ لَهُ دِرْعَ‏ الْحَيَاء».
  • 56. Al-Bukhari, no. 3065.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إذا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امرَأَتَهُ إلى فِراشِهِ فَأَبَت ، فَباتَ غَضبانَ عَلَيها ، لَعَنَتهَا المَلائِكَةُ حَتّى تُصبِحَ».
  • 57. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 389.
    وَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّه فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي زَوْجَةً إِذَا دَخَلْتُ تَلَقَّتْنِي وَ إِذَا خَرَجْتُ شَيَّعَتْنِي وَ إِذَا رَأَتْنِي مَهْمُوماً قَالَتْ لِي مَا يُهِمُّكَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ لِرِزْقِكَ فَقَدْ تَكَفَّلَ لَكَ بِهِ غَيْرُكَ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ بِأَمْرِ آخِرَتِكَ فَزَادَكَ اللَّهُ هَمّاً فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّه:«إِنَّ لِلَّهِ عُمَّالًا وَ هَذِهِ مِنْ عُمَّالِهِ لَهَا نِصْفُ أَجْرِ الشَّهِيدِ».
  • 58. Al-Kafi, vol. 5, p. 324.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «إِنَّ خَيْرَ نِسَائِكُمُ ... الْوَدُودُ الْعَفِيفَةُ الْعَزِيزَةُ فِي أَهْلِهَا الذَّلِيلَةُ مَعَ بَعْلِهَا الْمُتَبَرِّجَةُ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا الْحَصَانُ عَلَى غَيْرِهِ ...».
  • 59. Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175.
    قال الامام الصادق: «ما مِنِ امرَأَةٍ تَسقي زَوجَها شَربَةَ ماءٍ، إلّا كانَ خَيرا لَها مِن سَنَةٍ صِيامِ نَهارِها وقِيامِ لَيلِها، وبَنى اللّهُ لَها بِكُلِّ شَربَةٍ تَسقي زَوجَها مَدينَةً فِي الجَنَّةِ، وغَفَرَ لَها سِتّينَ خَطيئَةً».
  • 60. Irshad al-Qulub, p. 175.
    قال الامام الصادق: «ثَلَاثٌ‏ مِنَ‏ النِّسَاءِ يَرْفَعُ اللَّهُ عَنْهُنَّ عَذَابَ الْقَبْرِ وَ يَكُونُ مَحْشَرُهُنَّ مَعَ فَاطِمَةَ بِنْتِ مُحَمَّدٍ ص امْرَأَةٌ صَبَرَتْ عَلَى غَيْرَةِ زَوْجِهَا وَ امْرَأَةٌ صَبَرَتْ عَلَى سُوءِ خُلُقِ زَوْجِهَا وَ امْرَأَةٌ وَهَبَتْ صَدَاقَهَا لِزَوْجِهَا يُعْطِي اللَّهُ تَعَالَى لِكُلِّ وَاحِدَةٍ مِنْهُنَّ ثَوَابَ أَلْفِ شَهِيدٍ وَ يَكْتُبُ لِكُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُنَّ عِبَادَةَ سَنَة».
  • 61. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 7, p. 793, no. 21438.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «رَحِمَ اللّهُ رَجُلاً قامَ مِنَ اللَّيلِ فَصَلّى، ثُمَّ أيقَظَ أهلَهُ فَصَلّوا. رَحِمَ اللّهُ امرَأَةً قامَت مِنَ اللَّيلِ فَصَلَّت، ثُمَّ أيقَظَت زَوجَها فَصَلّى».
  • 62. Al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 14.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ آذَت زَوجَها بِلِسانِها، لَم يَقبَلِ اللّهُ عَزَّ وجَلَّ مِنها صَرفا ولا عَدلاً ولا حَسنَةً مِن عَمَلِها حَتّى تُرضِيَهُ».
  • 63. Kanz al-Ummal, vol. 16, p. 396, no. 45082.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَنظُرُ اللّهُ إلَى امرَأَةٍ لا تَشكُرُ لِزَوجِها وهِيَ لا تَستَغني عَنهُ».
  • 64. Mustadrak Al-Wasa’il, vol. 14, p. 242.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «لا يَحِلُّ لِلمَرأَةِ أن تُكَلِّفَ زَوجَها فَوقَ طاقَتِهِ، ولا تَشكوهُ إلى أحَدٍ مِن خَلقِ اللّهِ عَزَّ وجَلَّ، لا قَريبٍ ولا بَعيدٍ».
  • 65. Makarim al-Akhlaq, vol. 1, p. 202.
    قال رسولُ اللَّه: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ مَنَّت عَلى زَوجِها بِمالِها فَتَقولُ: «إنَّما تَأكُلُ أنتَ مِن مالي»، لَو أنَّها تَصَدَّقَت بِذلِكَ المالِ في سَبيلِ اللّهِ، لا يَقبَلُ اللّهُ مِنها إلّا أن يَرضى عَنها زَوجُها».
  • 66. Al-Faqih, vol. 3, p. 440.
    قال الإمام الصادق: «أيُّمَا امرَأَةٍ قالَت لِزَوجِها: «ما رَأَيتُ قَطُّ مِن وَجهِكَ خَيرا» فَقَد حَبِطَ عَمَلُها».