Wedding Night Guidelines For Husband & Wife

Now the next etiquette is in the hand of the husband. Everything has to be accordingly. Islam says you stand by the door and welcome your wife. First night but if you do everyday masha Allah is good.

Of course, you have riwayah you have to do 'istiqbiliha' (welcome her). We have riwayah like that- 'istiqbiliha'-Always welcome here. But you know man is mad, man. You know man. He wants his suit to be brought to him. And he want her to hold the bag and follow him and she the she gives that and Fi aman Allah. But when she wants that, he said no, I am tired. Work-related issues, I am tired, men-problems.

But that first night is highly recommended, according to our teachings of Ahl al-Bayt. I know normally they bring the wife and the husband is not even in the house. He is somewhere busy. But Islam says this is the right way. So you open, she comes.

Now they go. It is you and the wife. Listen to this etiquette, it is very very crucial, very important from Ahl al-Bayt. The first thing you do is to remove her shoe or socks If she is wearing. You, as husband. This is a riwayah I am quoting from the first Imam. Imam Amir, Rasul Allah told him, 'Idha dakhalat aroos baytak,'- when 'aroos' come to your house, 'aroos' means the wife. 'Ikhla' fa khayha'- 'Remove what she is wearing as footwear.' If she is wearing socks, you remove it. But you remove it gently.

I know that time you will be shivering, because you know now it is a new world altogether. New world order. She is in stress. You are in stress. All the shadi is over. But Rasul Allah said remove it.

When you remove it, you take a water. Then you bring the water, you wash the feet. This is sunnah of Rasul Allah. They ask one of our Imam, why do I have to wash the feet? Then Imam said because it is the most difficult moment for a woman. Men, sometimes they are at ease. But for a girl to leave her mom especially, and her father to come to a new house is not a joke. So our Imam doing so is telling her, I am ready to sacrifice for you. Feel at home, I will be your backbone. It, here is your home. Do not worry at all. So Amir al-Mu'minin said wash. But does it stop there?

No. Imam said after you finish washing, you take the water and you sprinkle the water in each and every corner of the room. You know, you see water. It is Barakah- it is a blessing. Hence we are told when we go to the graveyard, we sprinkle it also. Especially after 40 days. We are told when you sprinkle water on the grave, Allah brings 70 barakah (blessings) down. The same thing applies to husband. That first night is crucial. I know you will get billions of advises from people. Focus on the advice of Amir al-Mu'minin. That will score you free and it will help you.

But look at the riwayah, very interesting riwayah. Imam said take the water sprinkle each and every corner of the room. Imam Amir al-Mu'minin said, 'Whoever does that, Allah will protect you and the wife from 70 kinds of poverty.' Poverty is not only about money, poverty of knowledge, social poverty, political poverty sometimes you find you are good one corner, another corner you are not good.

Ahmad, you guys have the opportunity and Fayyaz follow the true teachings of Ahl al-Bayt and you are free. 70 kinds of poverty you are protected one. Two Imam Amir al-Mu'minin said, 'If you do that immediately, Allah will send 70 kinds of Barakah and Rahma (mercy) to you. And then the last, Imam said, 'You will be rest assured there will always be a way out for you and your wife'.

Is that over? No, the next etiquette is to sit and look at her. Ask her if she owes Salah or not. Wajibat. These are Sunna of Rasul Allah. Read the books of Ahl al-Bayt. How many wajibat do you owe? So you are her husband. 'Li taskuna ilyaha'- 'to dwell in her' (30:21). How many wajibat do you owe? Take note, because the life is going to begin now.

Have you made your Maghrib of tonight or not? Because you know many a times even the husband does not do. On the night they forget, let alone their wife. So Islam says, Ask! This is part of the etiquette. So if you have not done the wajibat of the night at least and you have not done it, you become her Imam and she follows you in Salah. What a beautiful salah of a beautiful night of blessings, night of Rahmah.

Half of your religion is forgiven, you are only looking for the half. Every du'a you make that night Rasul Allah says, 'There is no barrier from the acceptance of Allah'. Because Rasul Allah said when two families come together for marriage, Allah create many angels to serve the Ummah.

After this wajib salah if it is done, then it is fine. Then we go to the Mustahab which Amir al-Mu'minin mentioned. Now you make Wudu (ritual ablution), she makes Wudu and you lead her in two nafila salah (supererogatory). Nafila, she recites, you recite. You in the front, she is standing at the back. Two Rak'ah, but after the Two Rak'ah there are dua's to be recited. There are so many types of dua's ten times different but whatever you can get, you do.

One du'a from Rasul Allah. Now once everything is finished, then you take your hand like this (indicates open palm) and you place on her forehead, 'Allahumma inni as'aluka khayraha wa khayra ma fiha'- 'Ya Allah, I ask you of the khayr (good) of this woman, grant me that khayr and grant me of every khayr that she comes with tonight.' Then he said, 'Ya Allah wa a'udhi bika min sharriha wa sharri ma fiha'- 'Allah if there is any sharr (bad) that comes with her Allah, we seek refuge from you. Take away that 'Sharr''.

Because sharr is what makes you fight everyday, misunderstanding in the house. So if you begin on a good footing, be rest assured Allah will protect you in each and every problem.

Another du'a said no, you place the hand on her forehead, say said Allahumma hadhihi zawjati- 'Ya Allah, this is my wife.' 'Bi fadliKa razzaqtaha' -'Allah, you are the One who blessed her with Your rizq (sustenance)'. 'wa 'ala kitabika zawwajtuha'-'and Allah, I married her tonight through the teachings of Your Book.' You know what you are saying? You are telling Allah, when problem comes, I will not go anywhere, but I will follow your Book. You are telling Allah she is Amanat (trust) in my hand.

Then the du'a continues. Allahumma salli 'ala Muhammad wa ali Muhammad. Then you praise Prophet Muhammad and his family. Then he said, 'ya Allah ijma baynana bi ahsan ijtimahi'-'Allah bring us together and closer with the best form of bonding.' You are asking Allah so you can paraphrase it. You can do it in your own English, It is fine. And then the next line of the Du'a Rasul Allah says he said, 'Ya Allah, I know you love Halal and you hate haram. Allah bless me of only Halal in this family relationship. And Allah protect me from every haram and bringing haram to feed this lady.

Then he said, ya Allah, grant me the opportunity to be obedient to you and this lady. He said, Ya Allah, if there will be shaytan to play with us and our Iman (faith), we ask you to take away that shaytan from us.

And the last du'a, which is from, beautiful du'a from our sixth Imam. He said No, when she comes, just place your hand on her forehead. You look at her first and you said, 'Ya Allah bi amanatiKa akhadhtuha'- 'Allah, I have accepted and taken her as amanat (trust) from You.' Yani, this girl is Amana, not from the father and mom. She is Amanah from Allah. Then what do we say at the end Imam Ja'far 'alayhi as-salam said? Ya Allah bless her with rizq, like the way you blessed Rasul Allah and Khadijat al-Kubra.

Once this etiquette is done, then you are truly husband and wife. And then the journey of husband and wife continues. And I remember very well Imam Ja'far says whoever observed this du'a and A'mal, If that person happened to be blessed with a child on that night, that child will be among the lovers and followers of Ali Muhammad.

So therefore, in short, brothers and sisters, marriage is about bringing Allah in it. You cannot do it alone, she cannot do it alone. But once we bring Allah together and we ensure that Allah is the standard and the criteria in that marriage, that marriage will be a successful marriage.