Husband

A husband is a male in a marital relationship. The rights and obligations of a husband regarding his spouse and others, and his status in the community and in law, vary between cultures and have varied over time.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala 

It is very sad that at times of divorce the Quranic method of dealing with it is not observed. The holy Quran says  in Surah al-Baqarah, verse 229, 'tasrih bi ihsan', which means to part ways with "grace". 

Unfortunately, we can sometime see that for whatever reason the husband, his family, or at times the wife and her family wish to forget any good and pursue not only to oppress their spouse, but to become vengeful and spiteful towards them. One way of doing this is through money, or for the husband to misuse his authority by withholding from divorce until he gets what he wants. 

In this case it is gifts. 

It is not just an issue of it being permissible for the husband to demand gifts, or refuse to give back what he owes. If he has such a state of mind, then unfortunately he is not interest in doing good or being graceful, and he would not care if he is doing dhulm

If you are in an Islamic country, with an Islamic judiciary system, then you can pursue this by the Islamic courts. 

If you are not in an Islamic country, you need to weigh out the situation and try as much as you can not to allow the husband to keep you in limbo and not grant the shar'i divorce. 

If family negotiations are to no avail, you should think of the option of mediating a qualified religious scholar who might be able to convince him of how to deal with this in a righteous and noble way. 

If the husband refuses to cooperate, demanding the return of the gifts and refusing the pay back owing money, then if it is within your ability to hand them over, in return for your shar'i divorce, then that would be an easy way to bring this to an end. 

If what he is demanding is beyond your capacity, or the husband changes his mid, or anything else, then the next step is for you to contact a religious authority. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

Your wife has misunderstood the Islamic rule in this matter. Mahram is the person who is permanently forbidden for marriage with her under any circumstance for life e.g. her real brother , real uncle, real father, father in law, her son and son in law. Her sister's husband is not permanently forbidden to marry her, but only when her sister is his wife. If she dies, God forbid, or if she is divorced from him, marriage will be then allowed between this man and any of the unmarried sisters of his ex-wife.

Her sister's husband is not Mahram at all and must observe full Hijab in front of him like any other non Mahram man.

Wassalam.

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

It is very important for your respected wife to educate herself about the definition and rulings related to maḥram/non-maḥram cases. 

Unfortunately she is misinformed, and has only half of the facts correct.

In Islam, a man cannot marry two sisters at one time, but this does not mean that the wife's sister becomes maḥram to the husband, nor does it mean that the sister's husband becomes maḥram to the wife's sister.  

So, although he cannot marry his sister's wife as long as he is married to his wife, it still does not mean that she becomes maḥram to him. 

It is still haram for him to see her without hijab, or look at her with lust, or shake her hand, or be alone with her, and so on.

This is a view that all our jurists have. 

As for the case of her staying at their home, if all other shar'i matters are observed, yes she can. 

And Allah knows best. 

91717

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala 

Our esteemed Maraji' have different verdicts on this matter, and hence each individual must refer back to his/her Marja' for their fatwa. 

In the case of Grand Ayatullah Seyid Sistani, his view is that according to obligatory precaution it is impermissible. 

And Allah knows best. 

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 3 years ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. This in itself is not a valid reason for divorce, however, in this situation it may be wise to seek relationship counsilling if it is bothering you a lot.

May you always be successful 

 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

It is not allowed to swallow any Najis item and if you allow a Najis item in your mouth, you must spit it out and clean you mouth and lips with water.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 3 years ago

Iddah of Talaq (Waiting period after Talaq) is Must on her no matter how long she is separated from her husband as far as the marriage was consummated. Iddah starts immediately from the time of Talaq and it goes on for three periods of menstruation. 

If marriage was never consummated, and Talaq was declared, then there will be no Iddah.

Wassalam.

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 3 years ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Firstly a Muslim female shouldn't have male non-mahram friends. So this is already out of the question. Yes, interaction with the opposite gender at the workplace for example is permitted. 

In regard to discussing private sexual matters with her female friends, this should be avoided. Unfortunately some women fall into this and divulge intimate details of their spouses. 
 

If the woman genuinely needs advice related to sexual matters, she can speak or ask in a general sense without making it specific to herself. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 3 years ago

The person who is asking this may be familiar with the jurisprudential model. That is, insofar as it is the husband's right to have physical intimacy, he can prevent the wife from leaving the home (because this might interfere with his right). And his right is due to being the breadwinner and the wife being a financial dependent.

This is obviously a theoretical or idealized model of a marriage and doesn't take into account the varieties of how people live as well as the nuances of real life (for instance, that, oftentimes, the man isn't the sole breadwinner, and/or that the household labour that woman often do is equally important to the survival of the household or children; and, generally, both men and women have an interest in physical intimacy).

In practice, I would say that most men do not imprison their wives and don't do this literally. But, occasionally, a man does do that in the name of Islam, thereby depriving the wife of opportunities for seeing family or friends, education, attending religious gatherings, and knowing what is happening in society. And, in the context of the religious community, it is very difficult for anyone to object; a woman fears that if she disobeys him and goes outside, she will go to hell. (I had a friend in the US who was kept inside by her husband for decades; after he passed away, she didn't even know what an ATM/cash machine was). And this can be especially harmful if a girl marries young. Of course, in some places, this is also done because of lack of security in society and fear for the wife's safety, and this should also be acknowledged (that is, it isn't always due to overdominance).

Furthermore, the fact that a wife has to ask for permission to leave could be seen as demeaning to her dignity. I am sure most men would not tolerate it if someone told them they could only move about with a woman's permission!

As you might glean from my response, I am not in favour of this paradigm, and I am more in favour of the late Sayed Fadlullah's view that marriage should not be imprisonment, and that this particular ruling should be reconsidered. Sometimes, we just pass on things from the classical era without questioning them (such as the ruling of purity of Ahl al-Kitab, which was questioned in the modern era) until the time comes when we realize we do need to give it another look. I don't think the Prophet intended to disadvantage women, especially since so much of his message was about social reform and he had a special concern for improving the situation of women. And when we look at hadith from the time of the Prophet (S), we see that women were quite involved in what was happening around them and in the community of the Prophet (S), rather than being solely at home and uninvolved in anything around them. 

However, I do acknowledge that my own view is non-mainstream (that is, it is more of what is considered today a reformist view) and that the mainstream view is that this is because Islam, as a perfect system, provides an ideal model of marriage, and if people follow it they will have harmony. And that this authority given to the man provides order and structure for society and prevents moral corruption and so on. 
 

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 3 years ago

This isn't strongly and clearly addressed in our tradition, and so there is a broad scope of interpretation.

From a jurisrpudential viewpoint, the main topic for obedience that is described is with respect to fulfilling the responsibility of the spousal bed, and anything else directly related to that.

Some people take a broader view.

Similarly, with respect to tafsir, some people take the word "obedient" (qanitat, 4:34) to mean a woman obeying her husband, others take it to mean a woman obeying God.

However it is worth considering that all of these elaborations on spousal obedience happened after the time of the Prophet and so there is some involvement of the author's cultural views. 

In my experience, in practice, marriages tend to fit into two models - a "master-slave" model (where one person commands and the other obeys) and a partnership model (where the two work together and discuss things mutually). I find in general people tend to re-enact the model they saw growing up and to some extent that which is culturally common around them. For instance, some cultures are quite patriarchal, and this is sometimes reflected. 

I have come to feel that this is one way where Islamic teachings are adaptable to a variety of ways of living and aren't wholly specific. However I am sure there are others who will give more specific views. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

If an Islamic marriage is conducted, and it is revealed to the new husband that the wife has certain hidden physical or mental defects or disability, the husband has the right to opt to annul the marriage. 

Of course, some of these conditions would be related to the physical appearance of the wife's body, and as a man finds physical attraction to be of importance, if he is not satisfied with dealing or living with a certain condition,  one of them being leprosy, then he has the option of nullifying the marriage. 

This is his choice, whether to continue with the marriage, or to nullify it. That's why its always important for all parties to be upfront and direct and honest as possible when it comes to marriage proposals. This would avoid any future problems or breaking of a heart or putting oneself in such a difficult position. 

With prayers for your success.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Although the parents have divorced, and the children might not be living with the father, or maybe not even in contact with the father, but as long as the father is sane and alive, he is still the daughter's guardian and wali amr. Of course, if drug addiction impedes him from rational conduct, or he refuses to give consent on baseless grounds, then the case would be different. 

And Allah knows best.