Secrecy

130245

Knowledge . Parents . Father . Marriage . Secrecy

I am getting married in secret without the knowledge of my parents. Will I need my father's permission or will my father need to be present during the Nikah?

Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 7 months ago

Virgin girl does need her father's permission for her marriage if her father is a Muslim and does not reject the marriage for un Islamic reasons. Your father does not need to attend your Nikah but he must agree on it if it is your first marriage.

There are certain cases when this condition becomes void like when you need the marriage to save yourself from sinful act, and your father is refusing the marriage for reasons which are invalid in Islam.

Wassalam.

79574

Parents . Hate . Conversion to Islam . Faith (Iman) . Secrecy

I am 17, turning 18 soon, and still live with my parents. I want to convert to the Islamic faith but my parents hate the idea of me even thinking about it. Can I still convert in secret? If not, what should I do?

Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 2 years ago

You have the choice to convert in secret, or to convert and tell them.

What is best to do really depends on your situation and on your relationship with your parents. If you have a close relationship, and they would be hurt if you don't tell them, or if they found out by accident, it might be good to tell them sooner rather than later. If you think it would just cause problems for yourself, needlessly hurt them, or endanger you (for instance, put you at risk of being kicked out), then maybe it is better to wait.

If you think you will be living a more independent life soon (for instance, living on campus at a university, or working and living on your own), it might not hurt to wait and tell them when you have more control over your life.

However, eventually you will (probably) have to deal with it. Although it might cause conflict and tension in the beginning, the best-case scenario to hope for is that it could eventually lead to mutual understanding. The real question here is when to go through that, and that is something you have to decide for yourself.

Also, keep in mind that it is difficult to keep secrets, and people often sense what we are hiding or find out accidentally.

69058

Homosexuality . Sin . Secrecy

If I find out that an adult friend of mine is getting into some major sins, such as homosexuality, and her family does not know about it, should I tell the family to take care of the situation or keep it a secret?

You must do what ever you can to help your friend and protect her from falling in dangerous sinful acts. You must be completely sure that she is doing or going to do that sinful act. You can inform one of her family members who has more influence on her but not every one if you think that that member of her family can help saving her from sinful acts.

Wassalam.

51208

Life . Death . Secrecy . Suicide

If someone dies by taking their own life, such as through drug overdose, and people ask the cause of death, are we to say the real cause or keep it a secret by saying that they died in their sleep or something similar?

Abbas Jaffer, Sheikh Abbas Jaffer is an optometrist by profession and has a Master’s degree in Islamic Sciences. He is a part time lecturer at the Islamic College in London and is currently writing his doctoral... Answered 3 years ago

You should not lie about the cause but not broadcast it either, in case you increase the pain of the relatives.

regards

Abbas Jaffer

Life . Death . Secrecy . Suicide

Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

Such deaths are not only hard for the immediate family, but also difficult to explain to others, as they may quickly be judgmental.

No, it is not necessary at all for you to inform people of the cause of death, and you can just say "he/she passed away, please pray for him/her." And if they have a follow-up question, repeat that sentence.

As you know, lying is haram, and so you should not make something else up, but just rather feel confident that you do not need to tell people this kind of personal information.

If they care and are concerned, they would just leave it at that, and respect your feelings and privacy and just do dua for the marhoom/marhoomah.

Wassalam