Parents

A parent is a caregiver of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the caretaker of a child (where "child" refers to offspring, not necessarily age). A biological parent is a person whose gamete resulted in a child, a male through the sperm, and a female through the ovum.

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 4 years ago

as salam alaikum

you should always respect your parents and treat them kindly. However they cannot dictate the way you have to live your religion. A hadith says:

لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق

"There is no way to obey a creature by disobeying the Creator" (see "Musnad al-Imam al-Kazim").

You should also try to guide them with good manners and give them nasihah concerning their religious duty as Muslims and parents.

With prayers for your success.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Yes you can marry when ever you need to marry to save yourself from falling in sinful acts. In fact, it is the responsibility of the father to arrange the marriage of his son when he needs marriage. Parents are not allowed to object or delay the marriage if it is for save guarding the son or the daughter from sinful acts.

Man does not need permission from his parents in marriage, but virgin daughter needs permission of her father or paternal grand father in her marriage. Yet, if the father refuses the marriage of his daughter for no valid reason, when she needs marriage to protect herself from sinful acts, she will be then allowed to marry with the suitable believer.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answer updated 4 years ago

These are some useful acts for your deceased parents:

1. Fulfilling all their debts whether religious debts of worships which they missed (Prayers, Fast, Khums, Hajj etc) or financial or moral debts to people.

2. Paying Sadaqa or charity on their behalf. Charities with continuous benefits (Sadaqa Jaria) is much better like water will, Masjid, Husainia, orphanage, school, etc).

3. Arranging Majaalis on their behalf.

4. Reciting Quran or paying to people who can recite on their behalf.

5. Reciting Ziyarat Ashura and other Ziyarat on their behalf.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Misbehaving with parents is one of the most dangerous major sins. Major sins leads to hellfire unless you leave it and decide not to do it again and compensate it. 

There is no specific Kaffara for such major sin, but to make yur parents happy with you by doing good to them till they pardon you and be happy with you from their heart not just by tongue.

Such major sin is very dangerous in this life as wel as hereafter, so, you need to do everything possible to make your parents happy enough to forgive you and pray fro your forgiveness.

No way to avoid the wrath and curse but to gain the happiness of your parents with you.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

It is not permissible to hate your parents and deal with them badly
even if they are very bad persons. Allah The Glorious said in the Holy
Qur’an : But if they (your parents) try to make a polytheist (Mushrik)
then you do not obey them but behave with them in this world kindly
(Surah Luqman ; Verse 15). So even if the parents are so bad and try
to make you a Mushrik which is the most dangerous major sin, you
should not obey them but you must continue dealing with them nicely.
The parents who do bad, need more Dua (supplications) from their
children to be guided to the right path.

If the parents insult Allah (SWT) or the Holy Prophet (SAWA) you should not join them at all while they do that.

 If the parents don’t give you your rights that does not mean that you forget their rights on you as your parents.
Their sinful acts will be on them and you must fulfill your
responsibility in being always kind and good to them.

Wassalaam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

The jurisprudence rules do not say that it is obligatory on you to study or do whatever your parents want, but the moral duty says that you should try your best to please your parents and make them feel happy. Do not do anything which makes them feel insulted or disrespected. If you can not do the degree which they want you to do, then try your best to politely explain and convince them.

Wassalam.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Obeying your parents is more important than recommended acts,so, you must obey them and keep them happy in lawful matters even if you miss or delay a recommended act.

Wassalam.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

You are able to offer a sacrificial animal on behalf of anyone, and have the intention of being for the reward and benefit of that person/s, alive or deceased.

And Allah knows best.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 4 years ago

It is good to treat him/her with respect and maintain some form of communication or offer assistance if it is necessary. However, silat al-rahm (maintaining family ties) is a rather broad concept which can be done in many ways. It is not necessary to have a close or frequent relationship. You can weigh what is appropriate for your situation. In some cases, the use of technology (such as e-mail) can help in being a safe and controlled way to manage the situation. 

The primary thing that the Qur'an empahsises is respect and secondarily compassion. It is also related in hadith that if a person is dealing with parents who beat them, it is best to say "May Allah forgive you". That is, it is good to try to let go of resentment and move towards forgiveness in cases where the parents were not ideal.

For some people, one of the tasks of adulthood is to come to terms with the fact that parents are flawed human beings, like everyone else. We are usually more accepting of strangers with major flaws, but it can be difficult to accept this in a parent, because a child looks to a parent as a godlike figure and provider. The shifting power dynamic in adulthood can help with this, since once someone is no longer in need of their parent for their survival, it is easier to be more objective and accept things as they are. 

Generally, as we progress through adulthood, it becomes easier to recognize and sidestep unhealthy psychological behavior (for instance, being pushed to enable an addiction, relive someone else's trauma, and so forth). Of course you should not participate in haraam activities; generally, as we get older, it gets easier to draw personal boundaries and assert that there are some things we will not do. 

Whether we like it or not, our biological parents are our biological parents, we share some things with them, and there will always be a link. Cutting off ties does not change that. It may suppress the situation or make it no longer a practical concern and may result in more peace of mind, but the link and impact still persists psychologically. 

Also, if you have children, it is healthy for them to have some contact with their grandparents. True, some people do keep children away from their grandparents if they feel they are a bad influence (you mention haraam activities), and this also has to be weighed; but keeping them fully in the dark about their ancestors leaves a blank spot in their minds and sense of self. It also increases the likelihood that the same pattern will be enacted by them (even if you are a good parent towards them). They will subconsciously copy your actions. Similarly, if you speak respectfully of your parents (even if you may feel anger), they will learn that attitude towards parents, but if you speak angrily and critically of them, they will learn that attitude towards parents.

Anyway, life is challenging, and the world is far from ideal. Perhaps the best way to handle the situation for now is simply to pray sincerely for guidance and to see where that takes you. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

It is compulsory to do good to our parents and to deal with them in
the best possible way and to obey them when they order in any matter
which is in accordance with the rules of Allah (SWT) and not
otherwise.

A virgin girl requires the permission or the approval of the father or
her paternal grandfather for marriage.

Schooling, education, business etc. does not require the permission of
the parents but we should always keep in mind the maintaining of their
respect and happiness.

Wassalaam

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answer updated 4 years ago

Bismihi ta'ala

You are able to do an 'aqiqah for yourself. Please just keep in mind that it is best that all the mustahabaat / makruhaat of 'aqiqah are considered.

There are a few options that you can choose to get this done.

1. Contact your local Muslim butcher, and ask if they do 'aqiqah sacrifices.

2. Visit your local Islamic centre and speak to them if they can accept the responsibility of doing the aqiqah on your behalf, after you pay its amount.

3. Contact trustworthy Islamic charity organisations, and ask if they have an animal sacrifice program, where they distribute the meat to the poor and needy.

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 years ago

Parents remain parents even after their children are grown up.

Respecting and serving the parents is one of the most compulsories in Islam.

Parents are not allowed to insult their children. If calling a child whether he is grown up or not, by a nickname which he/she does not like must be avoided. The Hadeeth says: Call people with the best name they like.

Wassalam