Spouse

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage, civil union, or common-law marriage. The term is gender neutral, whereas a male spouse is a husband and a female spouse is a wife.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 4 months ago

Not at all. This question has root in Shafi'ee Sunni sect who claim that touching any women invalidates the Wudhu. This claim came because of their misunderstanding of the meaning of the Quranic verse (Or you touched women and did not get water then perform Tayammum) Sura 5, verse 6. The meaning of touching is not the linguistic meaning of just touching, but it means the sexual relationship which causes the state of Janabah. This claim has come from narrations from Omar ibn Al-Khattab and Abdullah ibn Omar and other narrators. Majority of Sunni scholars and all Shia scholars refused these narrations.

Kissing one's spouse does not invalidate Wudhu.

Wassalam.

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 4 months ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

No this doesn't break wudu unless it causes one to ejaculate. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 9 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

In my opinion, yes, I do think it would be a valid reason to reject a marriage proposal. Ultimately, what we aspire to achieve in marriage is living together and forming a family. 

Circumstances could arise during a marriage where a spouse must be away for a period of time, in which case consent from both sides is necessary. But if stay away from each other for long periods of time can be avoided, then that would be the best and healthiest thing to do. 

If it is unavoidable, and will be for years, and they cannot travel together, nor see each other, then a decision must be made that would be equally fair for both. Getting married and then immediately leaving your wife/husband for a few years is not an ideal situation to be in, and if it can be avoided, then that is best for both. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 9 months ago

Bismihi ta'ala

My dear brother, why do you have to think of this as a bad or negative thing. Yes, it is frustrating, but don't they say there are plenty more fish in the sea. 

You cannot force yourself onto someone. People have different circumstances, and various conditions and requirements. They could have expectations as wel. 

It's just that you might not be meeting these requirements or expectation. That's normal. Don't take that in the way and don't feel offended. You have God, and I am sure you have family and those around you who love and respect you. 

This happens to most of us. We do not need to look at it as "rejection". If you are following the correct method of our Islamic culture and how we go forward with marriage proposals, then you should have no worry at all. Just leave it for your parents, or elders to deal with. 

However, if you are taking it all upon yourself to directly contact these women, then you must expect negative answers as well, especially if she is a religious woman who will never over-ride the authority of her parents. 

You just need to adopt the correct Islamic method. 

Do not give up. Marriage is very important, but more important is sustaining that marriage and being succesful in your married life. So, do not rush, do not compromise. And beseech Allah ta'ala. Do dua to Almighty God to open the path for you, and grant you a noble, righteous and committed wife.

Do tawassul to Ahlul Bayt (a.s.), and be patient. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Quranic Du'a after Salawaat:

RABBANA HAB LANA MIN AZWAAJINA WA THURRIYATINA QURRATA A'YUN.

ربنا هب لنا ٬ترى أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين

RABBI LA TATHARNI FARDAN WA ANTA KHAIRUL WARITHEEN.

رب لا تذرني فردا وأنت ]بإي الوارثين

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I am sorry to hear about your difficulties (or the difficulties of the person you are asking on behalf of).

To add to the below response, I find that marriages tend to work out best when the husband and wife feel they can talk openly to each other about their lives without feeling they have to keep secrets. It can be difficult to build a deep relationship when there are big parts of one's life one feels that one can't discuss.

At the same time, real life being what it is, sometimes it doesn't work out to share some things and sometimes one person will use them against the other if they are not entirely of good character. I can also understand not wanting to open up about something personal or sensitive to the whole family and having them weigh in on it or talk about it with each other.

Anyway, there is no shame (or at least there should be no shame) in mental health conditions, just as, indeed, there is often no shame in the other things that people, often women, feel compelled to keep secret for social reasons. 

I do agree however that when a person finds out something later, oftentimes the reaction is worse because they feel deceived and that it is a betrayal of trust.

But you have to make whatever decision is best - perhaps consider doing istikhara about sharing it, if you are genuinely unsure?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 1 year ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. At the moment, Shii law does not consider mental health as an issue that would annul a marriage contract. However, considering the fact that marriage in the modern world is a major decision for both parties it would be wise to not hide such issues as they will inevitably come up during the course of a persons marriage at which stage your partner may feel hard done by. Especially if it is something you are not entirely over. With these situations it is helpful to put yourself in the other party's shoes and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

May you always be successful.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 1 year ago

Bishimi ta'ala

I will not lecture you about God's comparison and mercy, as you must be well aware of how the Almighty forgives all sins, and cleans our slates once we turn to Him with sincere repentance. 

It is forgetting the past that you must be focusing on, and how you are able to develop a level of piety that you will enter into a new phase in your life, based on religious devotion and spiritual growth. That will not just ensure you've been forgiven, but also keep you on the straight path. 

Your sin is between you and Allah ta'ala, and you must not reveal it to anybody. From a shar'i perspective, you do not need to tell your future spouse your previous sin.

Once you have changed your ways and sincerely forgiven, and became more religiously active and aware, then you live your life normally, and think positively for the future, not allowing the past to define who you are. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 year ago

Yes it is permissible if you are sure that no one at all can see you.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 1 year ago

Yes

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 1 year ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

The main things one should consider in looking for a spouse is religiosity and good manners. However there is no problem in preferring a specific type or also marrying someone if you like their culture.
 

Let's say for example that a woman wanted a Persian looking husband and liked Persian culture; this preference wouldn't be an issue as long as she pursued this in a halal manner. 

So you may make dua for a religious spouse who fits your personal preferences. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 1 year ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. There is no dichotomy between a virtuous spouse and success in the material world. In fact, the virtues taught by Islam enable the most beautiful of lives. Good character traits also include hard work, a sense of responsibility, and independence. The goal is not to hide from the world, but to have a strong enough relationship with God so as to not be stained by its negative aspects. That in itself is a journey.

May you always be successful