Spouse

A spouse is a significant other in a marriage, civil union, or common-law marriage. The term is gender neutral, whereas a male spouse is a husband and a female spouse is a wife.

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 1 week ago

Quranic Du'a after Salawaat:

RABBANA HAB LANA MIN AZWAAJINA WA THURRIYATINA QURRATA A'YUN.

ربنا هب لنا ٬ترى أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين

RABBI LA TATHARNI FARDAN WA ANTA KHAIRUL WARITHEEN.

رب لا تذرني فردا وأنت ]بإي الوارثين

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I am sorry to hear about your difficulties (or the difficulties of the person you are asking on behalf of).

To add to the below response, I find that marriages tend to work out best when the husband and wife feel they can talk openly to each other about their lives without feeling they have to keep secrets. It can be difficult to build a deep relationship when there are big parts of one's life one feels that one can't discuss.

At the same time, real life being what it is, sometimes it doesn't work out to share some things and sometimes one person will use them against the other if they are not entirely of good character. I can also understand not wanting to open up about something personal or sensitive to the whole family and having them weigh in on it or talk about it with each other.

Anyway, there is no shame (or at least there should be no shame) in mental health conditions, just as, indeed, there is often no shame in the other things that people, often women, feel compelled to keep secret for social reasons. 

I do agree however that when a person finds out something later, oftentimes the reaction is worse because they feel deceived and that it is a betrayal of trust.

But you have to make whatever decision is best - perhaps consider doing istikhara about sharing it, if you are genuinely unsure?

Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 3 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. At the moment, Shii law does not consider mental health as an issue that would annul a marriage contract. However, considering the fact that marriage in the modern world is a major decision for both parties it would be wise to not hide such issues as they will inevitably come up during the course of a persons marriage at which stage your partner may feel hard done by. Especially if it is something you are not entirely over. With these situations it is helpful to put yourself in the other party's shoes and treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

May you always be successful.

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Zaid Alsalami, Shaykh Dr Zaid Alsalami is an Iraqi born scholar, raised in Australia. He obtained a BA from Al-Mustafa University, Qom, and an MA from the Islamic College in London. He also obtained a PhD from... Answered 3 months ago

Bishimi ta'ala

I will not lecture you about God's comparison and mercy, as you must be well aware of how the Almighty forgives all sins, and cleans our slates once we turn to Him with sincere repentance. 

It is forgetting the past that you must be focusing on, and how you are able to develop a level of piety that you will enter into a new phase in your life, based on religious devotion and spiritual growth. That will not just ensure you've been forgiven, but also keep you on the straight path. 

Your sin is between you and Allah ta'ala, and you must not reveal it to anybody. From a shar'i perspective, you do not need to tell your future spouse your previous sin.

Once you have changed your ways and sincerely forgiven, and became more religiously active and aware, then you live your life normally, and think positively for the future, not allowing the past to define who you are. 

With prayers for your success. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 5 months ago

Yes it is permissible if you are sure that no one at all can see you.

Wassalam.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answered 8 months ago

Yes

Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answer updated 8 months ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

The main things one should consider in looking for a spouse is religiosity and good manners. However there is no problem in preferring a specific type or also marrying someone if you like their culture.
 

Let's say for example that a woman wanted a Persian looking husband and liked Persian culture; this preference wouldn't be an issue as long as she pursued this in a halal manner. 

So you may make dua for a religious spouse who fits your personal preferences. 
 

May Allah grant you success 

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 8 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. There is no dichotomy between a virtuous spouse and success in the material world. In fact, the virtues taught by Islam enable the most beautiful of lives. Good character traits also include hard work, a sense of responsibility, and independence. The goal is not to hide from the world, but to have a strong enough relationship with God so as to not be stained by its negative aspects. That in itself is a journey.

May you always be successful

May you always be successful. 

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Sayyed Mohammad Al-Musawi, Sayyed Mohammad al-Musawi is originally from Iraq and heads up the World Ahlul Bayt Islamic League in London. Other than being involved in various humanitarian projects, he frequently responds to... Answered 9 months ago

Any Najis material is not allowed to swallow. Even if the material is not Najis, you should seek a medical advise to be sure that it should not harm your health.

Wassalam.

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Seyed Ali Shobayri, Seyed Ali Shobayri is of mixed Iranian and Scottish descent who found the path of the Ahlul Bayt (a) by his own research. He holds a BA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University through the... Answered 1 year ago

Bismillah, 

Asalamu Alaykom, 

Yes, it is the right of a Muslim to chose their future spouse and not be forced to marry. 

May Allah grant you success 

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 1 year ago

as salam alaikum

a wife should obey her husband provided that he would guide her towards the best and according to obedience to Allah. There is no obedience to any creature that implies disobedience to the Creator.

Man has been given a major role in certain aspects of life, naturally and religiously. On the other side, to the woman belongs a leading role in other issues, naturally and religiously. Other roles, may be performed by both. A religious family should aim at achieving happiness in this world and the Hereafter. Members should help each other and sacrifice themselves for the sake of Allah.

Generally speaking, consultation should always be taken in consideration if possible, keeping in mind that the main focus is to please Allah and not to hurt each other.

With prayers for your success.

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Abbas Di Palma, Shaykh Abbas Di Palma holds a BA and an MA degree in Islamic Studies, and certifications from the Language Institute of Damascus University. He has also studied traditional Islamic sciences in... Answer updated 1 year ago

as salam alaikum

several ahadith discourage divorce to the point that has been said: "The most hated from what is lawful is divorce". Sometimes divorce is necessary but this usually should take place as a last resort after consulting wise people and attempts of reconciliation. In the case of divorce the husband may accept the separation on his wife's request in return of a payment that she may take or detract from her mahr. This practice is called "khul'ah" 

If the situation become islamically unbearable for the wife, she can consult an Islamic Judge that may decide a divorce to take place. Some of the cases that leads an Islamic Judge to such decision are the followings:

1) Refusal of the husband to pay his wife's maintenance.

2) Unacceptable behavior from the husband that unjustifiably hurts and/or abuse his wife physically or emotionally.

3) Lack of religiosity of the husband to the point that becomes unbearable for the wife to continue to live with him.

In any case, it should not be a hasty decision but very pondered one with continuous prayers and appealing to Allah asking for the best outcome. 

With prayers for your success.