Akhlaq (أخلاق) is the practice of virtue, morality and manners in Islamic theology and falsafah (philosophy).
Are you feeling nervous about committing? Are there any other difficulties that are not being addressed? Are you connecting to her emotionally? Maybe you are subconsciously seeking a connection that you might feel you are not getting in this partnership. You say you are 'satisfied with her deen and akhlaq', which sounds quite official and correct, but maybe there is something you have in your mind that you wish you still had. One way of remaining content is to remind yourself that, even if you were to be with one of the other women you are looking at, you would eventually confront the more challenging demands of marriage and commitment. Then the same subconscious fears would arise and you might once again start looking at other women. If you feel you are lacking an emotional connection with her, then it is good to discuss that with her. Maybe she feels the same and it is something that you can both work on. If you have had a childhood that involves parental conflict or divorce, you may also find it more difficult to connect emotionally. It may be good to seek out some therapy to try to understand what is going on in your mind at a deeper level, or to talk to someone about it. Do not keep silent about it, as it could continue after you get married.
It is wrong and harmful to compare what Allah (SWT) has given us with others. Comparing with others can make us less appreciative to the bounty of Allah on us, and even under estimating the bounty and ungrateful to Allah (SWT). Comparing with others make us lose the real taste of the bounty. Prophetic advice to Abu Thar: Never look in worldly matters to those who have more than you, as that can make you disrespect the bounty of Allah on you.
If your fiancée compare you with other men, will you like that?
We need to thank Allah (SWT) for every bounty He granted us and never look at others.
You must be more than careful when talking with or about your parents and must avoid uttering any word which can make them feel disrespected.
If your father is unwell and needs to be reminded, you should be very very polite and very nice in your attitude with him.
You would have to ask specific groups about their policies.
However, in general, it seems reasonable that a married couple might have more experience with the topic of marriage than a single person (unless it is a single person who was married for a long time and widowed, for example).
Of course, this is not always true, since a single person with a strong understanding of psychology and character, or who understands what makes two people compatible or incompatible, might also offer good suggestions for marriage.
Also, the presence of a married couple might hopefully cut down on one of the main pitfalls in matchmaking, and that is when the matchmaker decides to get personally involved with the client in a way that is not in their best interest and which is ethically inappropriate. (For instance, a man decides he should act as a guardian of an unrelated female in marriage matters, then he uses that authority dynamic to pursue a relationship with her.)
Still, there isn't any specification about this and if anyone, single or married, can successfully help two compatible people get married, inshallah they would enjoy divine reward.
If you not interacting with them or limiting interaction with them can prevent further animosity and problems, then it may be necessary to take such steps. It may also be advisable to keep a distance away from such people if they are being unjust and rude towards yourself. Of course one should try keep good manners and not stoop to the level of those who are being rude. But it still isn’t obligatory upon you to have a relationship with them.
May Allah grant you success
Real Muslim is the person who believes in Islam and behaves in peaceful way with people (المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده))
Every Muslim is required to practice Islamic teachings in his life especially when dealing with people. Those Muslims who do not practice fairness and justice with others are blames in Quran ( O, Those who believed, why do you say what you do not practice? (Sura Al-Saff, Verse 2).
As being nice to people is one of the best deeds in Islam, being bad and harming people is very bad and it can lead tp punishment in this life and hereafter. When harming an animal is forbidden in Islam (e.g. The Hadeeth about a Muslim woman who will be in hellfire because she tortured a cat), so what about harming a human being?
No one from us can judge who is good Muslim and who is not as Allah (SWT) knows what all creatures did and ae doing and will be doing in the future and He judges who is good and who is not. But Allah (SWT) said clearly (The most honorable of you with Allah is the most practicing Taqwa (piousness). Sura Al-Hujuraat, verse 13.
Those who pray and fast and worship Allah (SWT) but misbehave and harm others will loose their worship reward to their victims, and might be forced to take the sins of their victims.
The Hadeeth says ( Best of people are those who benefit people) and another Hadeeth says (Worst of people are those who harm people).
This shows that the spirit of Islam is to be good to others.
There is really no such thing as a "good Muslim" and a "bad Muslim", these are labels we have invented. A person is a Muslim if they profess the shahadatayn. However, a Muslim will be judged in the next life like anyone else and a person who has harmful behaviour or bad ethics will be held responsible for that.
There are a number of hadith saying not to look at someone's outward signs of religiosity (such as praying or fasting) to judge their character but rather to look at how they act with other people. This is because acts of worship can become habitual, be feigned, done with a dead heart, done out of custom or to please one's family or community, etc.
However, acts of worship are there for a reason, and can elevate a person; whereas leaving them aside can make them more vulnerable to wrongdoing. Perhaps, inshallah, her prayers will help her become a better person.
1. Controlling our bad behaviour needs reasonable will power based on the facts of the harm and damage of such behaviour, and the benefits of good behaviour.
2. We need to see how harsh behaviour makes the person unliked even by his own family members, while good behaviour makes the person liked by almost all people who know him.
3. It is good to recite Quranic Du'a for making our chest pleasant and not narrow. ( RABBI ESHRAH LI SADRI WA YASSIR LI AMRI) رب اشرح لي صدري ويسر لي أمري
4. It is mentioned in books of Akhlaq that when a person becomes angry, he should look at a mirror to see himself while being angry. He will see how ugly he looks when he is angry and this can cool him down and make him avoid being angry.
5. It is also mentioned in many Hadeeths to deal with people in the same way which you want them to deal with you. Bad behaviour from you with others can never be accepted by you if it comes from others to you.
6. Repeating Estighfaar and Salawaat and LA HAWLA WALA QOWWATA ILLA BILLAH is very useful to make our Akhlaq better if we recite it with understanding specially during the night and more specifically during Sojood.
7. It is also good to remember the Hadeeth: Deal with people in a way that if you are away from them, they will long to meet you, or if you die, they will weep on you.
8. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWA) said: Best of you are the best to their family, and I am the best to my family.
as salam alaikum
different situations call for different answers and reactions. However in general terms the aim should be make truth prevails, defend his and his family's honor and dignity, and to fulfill the duty of "amr bil-ma'ruf wa nahy 'anil-munkar".
With prayers for your success.
It is obligatory to make the person who said the Salam hear your reply.
as salam alaikum
The Qur'an says: "Whenever you are greeted with salutation, greet with better salutation or return the same. Verily Allah takes account of everything" (4:86).
A believer should answer the greeting of another believer in a way that the salutation is heard, otherwise cannot be defined as "salutation". There is no sin if the other person do not say or hear it unintentionally. However the greeting of peace "as salam alaikum", and returning the greeting, is one of the beautiful aspect of Islam, it is considered a du'a and strengthens brotherhood among the believers; it is better therefore to make sure that it always reaches its destination.
With prayers for your success.
Patience and tolerance. This is the way.
This unfortunate situation is existing in thousands of cases and it causes lot of sufferings but we should never loose the hope.
There are many wise ways to handle it including:
1. Avoiding any behavior or words which can instigate or trigger his anger.
2. Being cool when he is angry to gradually cool him down.
3. Never be angry reacting to his anger. Your anger will make his anger more.
4. Try to politely explain to him the situation as much is he can understand.
5. Do not involve others unless it becomes out of control, then only those who have effect on him.