Jealousy

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. Jealousy can consist of one or more emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness or disgust. In its original meaning, jealousy is distinct from envy, though the two terms have popularly become synonymous in the English language, with jealousy now also taking on the definition originally used for envy alone.

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Amina Inloes, Amina Inloes is originally from the US and has a PhD in Islamic Studies from the University of Exeter on Shi'a hadith. She is the program leader for the MA Islamic Studies program at the... Answer updated 1 month ago

When the Qur'an speaks of removing bad feelings in heaven (7:43), it speaks of it for all people in general, not only women. So one can assume that neither men nor women feel bad feelings like resentment or anger or jealousy in heaven.

Jealousy is related to this life because of our restrictions due to our physical bodies and social factors, as well as things such as concerns over lineage, or fear of loss if one's spouse goes to another, but in Paradise, those are no longer considerations since the environment lacks the same restrictions as the material world.

My understanding of verses such as 36:55-57 which talk about spouses enjoying each other's company in Paradise is that it is a general use of the word "azwaj", meaning that human beings in general will be with enjoyable and appropriate partners, not that this is specifically referring to men and their earthly wives.

This is because most human beings have the inclination to unite with another because the human being is incomplete whereas Allah is complete. Therefore in Paradise they would also have the opportunity to unite with others, without the same social or material restrictions that they have here, although of course the greatest pleasure is to be in the presence of Allah.

This is similar to the apparent usage in 4:1 where it speaks of creating the soul and its mate (zawj) in an apparently ungendered fashion, albeit in practice many Muslims, including Yusufali in translation, render this as creating the man and his woman. But the actual language of the Book does not specify this distinction.

So, from this angle, one does not get the sense that specifically a man will be enjoying all the hur al ayns and the woman is bound only to her husband. In fact, that makes no sense because some women marry many times, and some marry no times. Some women also marry men like Yazid who is the last person they would ever see or want to see in Paradise. 

However, inshallah if someone wishes to be reunited with their husband or wife in Paradise, they will be able to do so and enjoy each other's company there. 

In any case, when we discuss the Hereafter, we really just take our best guess based on our understanding and what has been transmitted - none of us can say with entire certainty; what is certain is that we will find out.

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Zoheir Ali Esmail, Shaykh Zoheir Ali Esmail has a Bsc in Accounting and Finance from the LSE in London, and an MA in Islamic Studies from Middlesex University. He studied Arabic at Damascus University and holds a PhD... Answered 4 months ago

Bismillah

Thank you for your question. In our scriptural sources women are not encouraged to have these feelings as they are considered a blameworthy type of ghirah (when you want something only for yourself). They are feelings that are not validated. Similar to the feelings of jealousy and depression when someone doesn't want anyone to do better than them, it is not upon people to not do better than that person, but upon the person to control and work on themselves.  As to the wisdom of allowing polygyny there is much wisdom, such that the feelings of the first wife in some cases is not enough of a reason to make it impermissible. Rather, the first wife has to control these tendencies and get used to the idea in the knowledge that this is something that God has allowed. At times, if polygyny is done with wisdom it can improve the situation of the first wife and the relationship between her and her husband. 

These feelings are also enhanced by expectations and cultures, which are again not factors that influence permissibility as it is upon Muslims and Muslim society to create expectations and cultures in line with what is permissible and impermissible.

May you always be successful