Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behaviour such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination. It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events, such as the feeling of imminent death. Anxiety is a feeling of uneasiness and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing. It is often accompanied by muscular tension, restlessness, fatigue and problems in concentration.
I am sure you as a Muslim know that worship and prayer is the greatest and most effective tool to battle anxiety and stress. As the holy Quran says, with the remembrance of God hearts will become tranquil. By someone seeing prayer as a burden or something that would hinder their mental stability, or even sleeping pattern, this shows they have not yet discovered what true faith and worship is.
The best time to gain focus in life, or rizq, or mental and spiritual stability is fajr time. Adopting a healthy and religious sleeping pattern will enable one to get good sleep, and also fuflil their basic religious requirements.
Of course, it will mean that one would have to change certain things in their daily routine, like avoiding things that keep them awake at night, avoiding caffeine, sleeping early, creating better atmosphere at home, and so on.
There are many ways of getting your good sleep, and also performing fajr prayer in its proper time. This means that the problem is not fajr time disrupting the sleep, but rather having a better routine and stronger reliance in the Almighty.
With prayers for your success.
No bad in the Paradise at all. Allah says in Quran about people in Paradise :ونزعنا ما في صدورهم من غِلّ (We shall remove from their chests all the hatred and make them real brothers). Sura 15, verse 47.
No one in Paradise thinks negatively nor has negative feelings whatsoever. No one will wish to do any wrong or even think to do any wrong as Allah has granted them the ability to see the right and wrong clearly so no one will ever want to do or think about doing wrong.
As far as you are concerned, following the madhhab of Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) is a part of your personality and identity, and your marriage should not obstruct your affiliation to your Shi'i identity. This should be made clear to your fiance.
In regards to your future children, you as their mother must try to nurture them in such a way where they are aware of their religion and abide to the laws of Islam. Which madhhab they choose is completely up to them, when they become mature and of age.
If you instill within them the love of religion and the urge to pursue truth and evidence, and allow them to research and read and decide themselves, you've done your obligation. The rest is for them to decide.
Your main focus must be on accompanying your husband to be in a noble spiritual way, and avoiding anything that would hurt or harm his understanding of Islam, or your understanding of Islam.
Be the parents that you should be, and that would be the best thing you can do.
With prayers for your success.
If it is an intoxicant, then it will be Haraam to consume it.
as salam alaikum
daily recitation of Qur'an is good for the spiritual and mental development of the child insh'Allah. The supplication of Imam al-Sajjad, peace be upon him, for his children that can be found in the al-Sahifah al-Sajjadiyyah (dua number 25) has some good words for the protection of children from difficulties.
The company with good-hearted people that avoid too much formalities but are able to give real love is also very important in the mentioned case. Be aware of people who do vain talks and spiteful comments but look for people and families who are sincerely committed to the Din of Islam and purity of heart.
With prayers for your success.
Repeating Isteghfaar (Seeking forgiveness) is very helpful for every one especially those who feel guilty.
Remembering Allah and taking His names and repeating it is very useful in treating depression or anxiety or any psychological problem. Remembering Allah keeps the heart peaceful and prevents the causes of depression. More remembering Allah (SWT) brings more peace and comfort in the heart and mind.
I am sorry to hear you went through that. I hope you are not suffering too much on a practical level from your loss.
As human beings, we are subject to two forces regarding money: the will/sustenance of God, and the free will of human beings.
Sustenance, as something from God, is greater at some times and less at other times. There are times when we receive more than we fairly should, and there are times when we unjustly lose money or other people take it from us (legally or illegally). In general these things balance out. However, God has promised to sustain everyone, and just because you have lost money now does not mean that it will not come back in some way.
From a human perspective, while one person has the free will to take money from another, that money will not have blessings and that person will probably not enjoy it long term or will lose out in another way.
Money comes and goes, but what we have is our character and our good deeds. Perhaps the best thing to do is to be grateful that you are a person of good character, you are not a thief or an embezzler, and you are free from the burden of this sin that the other person has committed. You may be anxious now, but thieves never sleep easily!
As for other reasons why it happened.. that is really a matter specific to your situation. Sometimes people take money from us because we are sympathetic, sometimes because we are deceived, sometimes because we are careless, sometimes because they are better at playing games with the law, or other reasons. I am sure you can identify what the reason was and learn whatever lesson you can from it. If your motives for giving money were sympathy or to invest in something positive or something similar, then surely this is something praiseworthy and again you can be at peace knowing that at least you made a good decision.
Beyond that, it is good to spend some time in prayer and ask Allah why this happened. There are many reasons that things happen to us (our own free will, a divine test, part of the divine plan, etc) and perhaps a higher wisdom may become clear. Also, money is often a tool used to push us towards where we should be in life (for instance, needing to go to a certain country or city for work, or needing to leave a place or change our plans in life for financial reasons).
Also you can ask Allah to protect you from this happening again.
I hope that your financial situation improves and you will be feeling better soon!
Smoking weed or any intoxicant material is not allowed in Islam. There is no exception in such matters. Harmful is harmful, hence it can never be allowed even if you think that you might get relief , as no real relief can be achieved through such harmful things at all.