Such feeling is from your worst enemy Shaitan who always tries to harm us through different ways. After knowing the source of the a satanic thoughts, we need to tackle it by seeking help and protection from Allah. Repeating Istighfaar and Salawaat and reciting Quran and Du'a are very useful.
Read Quran and sayings of the Prophet (SAWA) and Ahlul Bayt (AS) and repeat to remember and understand more.
It is untrue. It is one of the many false accusations against us fabricated by our enemies.
We believe that followers of any Muslim sect being Sunni (Hanafi, Shafi'ee, Maliki, Hanbali, Barelwi, Deobandi or Zaidi or Abaadhi or Ash'ari or Salafi or Wahabi etc are Muslims like us.
Even those who claim that we Shia are Kafirs are misguided Muslims and we never consider them as Kafirs.
There are many Hadeeths about the great reward and ample blessings and gifts for the person who performs Salah. Also the emphasis on praying Salah with dedication as we read in the first verses in Sura Al-Mo'minoon.
You can read in Thawab Al-A'maal by al-Shaikh Al-Sadouq many narrations in this regard e.g. When the believer performs Salah, the angles cover him with a cover of mercy, and his sins will fall down like the leaves of the tree in autumn. If the believer knows the mercy on him while he is praying, he will never leave his Salah. Prayers cleans the book of deeds and removes the bad deeds, etc.
It is unacceptable for a mother-in-law to be verbally abusive to her daughter-in-law. Verbal abuse, jealousy and hatred to that extent can be part of a personality disorder. I can recommend researching in detail the characteristics of the malignant, narcissistic woman and mother. In insulting someone you love, she is also abusing you. Mothers with a narcissistic personality disorder (as opposed to just being self-centred) are competitive in terms of who their child loves most.
How your children see you behave with your mother and wife will affect their own marriages down the line. Can you ask your mother not to verbally abuse your wife? If you feel you can't, that is revealing something about how your mother has trained you to relate to her, i.e. to remain passive and take the abuse; to not have enough self-worth to even politely ask her not to be verbally abusive.
Your duty is to love and protect your wife. You are the head of your household. You also have to protect the well being of your children. If they see their mother being abused their well being will be affected too.
According to Ayatollah Dastghayb-Shirazi, you are entitled to minimise or even cut ties with family members whose bad behaviour you can't reform, or whose bad behaviour gets worse by your presence, or whose bad behaviour you indirectly condone by co-operating with them. Being good to your parents does not mean condoning behaviour that could destroy your family.
You never really know about people. Even in the time of the Prophet (S), there were hypocrites who pretended to be Muslim. Only Allah knows what is in the heart, and only Allah knows whether people will follow through with a lifetime commitment (such as converting to a religion - or, for that matter, having a lifelong marriage).
Many of the sahabah converted instantly. So if he converts tomorrow, he could be an Abu Dharr or a Salman al-Farsi. Or he could be... someone else. One way you can glean some idea of this is with respect to how he is with commitment in life, in general. Has he followed through on other commitments, or does he tend to jump around from thing to thing? This still doesn't give you a full picture but gives you some idea.
Also, people sometimes change throughout life anyway - there is no guarantee that the person you marry will be the same person forever.
So, you can never know for sure, but it is good to follow your intuition and good judgment and advice from people you trust and who have wisdom. If you are having doubts, possibly your intuition is picking up on signs that your rational mind is dismissing.
You could wait some time after he has converted (say, a couple years) before committing to the marriage to see how he does with Islam.
That said, it is not respectful to doubt that someone is sincere about his religious belief simply because he was not born into it (unless there are some signs that the person is insincere or not thinking straight), and respect is important for marriage. So this should also be sorted out before marriage.
It is not uncommon for women to convert at the time of marriage to a Muslim man and often they remain in the faith and become strong Muslims. Of course, the social situation and experiences of men are somewhat different, but just putting that out there.
We always need to take lessons from realities of life and study the majority of similar cases before emotionally going ahead with marriage proposals based on promises. Lot of marriages have taken place based on a promise to become a Muslim but ended up with different situations few years after the marriage. Emotions before marriage usually don't last long after marriage. Usually married couples face some issues and misunderstandings between them which can decrease their emotions towards one other. Studying the results of thousands of similar cases should make us more careful before deciding as such decision is for life. As many similar promises were not fulfilled properly by many, we need to be sure that person has really accepted Islam for the sake of Allah and decided to follow the True religion. His real practice is must and not his promise. After he really practiced Islam like a good Muslim, then you can assess whether he is willing to remain a Muslim for life or just for the sake of marriage.
In fact just promising to be a Muslim will not make permissible for him to marry a Muslim girl, unless he is already a Muslim.
You need to be sure about your future and the future of your children.
Islam has some matters that are fixed and other matters that are flexible. If Islam did not have any flexibility, and only prescribed one rigid standard for every matter of life, it would not have been able to spread to different cultures, time periods, and ways of living.
So, with respect to marriage, Islam prescribes certain things, such as performing a marriage contract, forbidding incestuous marriages, and abstaining from adultery.
However, it does not prescribe whether or not a marriage should be a "love marriage".
This allows for accommodation between different individuals, cultures, situations, and lifestyles.
However, some Muslims are very sensitive on this point due to a sense of cultural clash, or cultural warfare, and feel it is necessary to preserve one approach to marriage or another as "the Islamic view".
As for what sort of marriage succeeds best, perhaps this has more to do with certain compatibility factors, a mutual spirit of commitment, and the support that the society offers for marriage and family life - some countries are more family-friendly than others.
Islam is the word of Allah to guide mankind to peaceful and happy life. Marriage is a human need which aims not only to continue the human generations but also to provide peace and tranquility. Islam guides to be careful in selecting in marriage and keeps two main criteria which are: Religious practice and morals, as the Hadeeth says: إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخُلُقَهُ فزَوِّجوه
We also have Hadeeth to guide men in selecting a wife stating to select a religious women, you will then gain a great treasure. فاظفَر بِذاتِ الدين تَرِبَت يداك
Love marriage depends on the reasons of the love and whether the love is caused by desires only or logical reasons as well. Desires will never remain forever but rational reasons remain. If the reasons behind love are supported by rational evidence that the marriage will remain and form a good and peaceful family, then such love marriage is good. But if the love is blind as it is said, and does not have insight for the future, then we have to be careful. Millions of love marriages ended in divorce or in miserable situations. Though it is not the case in every love marriage but in many.
Love only as an emotion can never justify marriage nor guarantee a successful future, unless there are reasonable or satisfactory factors to support the future harmony in understanding the aims of life and the way to achieve it according to the orders of Allah (SWT).
Love between husband and his wife is a great bounty from Allah and it is from the great signs of Allah as we read in Quran: (And among His signs that He created for you mates from you (humans) so that you get in them tranquility, and He put between you affection and mercy)Sura 30, verse 21.
Love which remains is essential for marriage even if it grows after marriage but love which does not remain is a misguiding desire. We need our youth to build their family life on permanent love which continues.
You can seek from Allah (SWT) to make this person your husband if He knows that he is suitable for you. Your emotions are based on your thinking or sentiments or dreaming, but you don't know the reality of that person nor you know the future. Allah knows everything and He gives the believers the best that He knows for them. You seek from Allah to grant you what He knows the best for you, not what you think it good for you. Keep you supplication conditional according to the best that Allah knows for you.
As Muslims, we do not believe in caste, and we rather condemn such an attitude. Our criterion for evaluating someone is piety, as the Quran says. It is unfortunate that some parents still carry such a mentality, and hopefully one day we will all be able to implement our religion in the best way possible.
That being said, you must take into consideration compatibility and overall mindset of who it is you are marrying. There must be a good level of compatibility for you and your future spouse to have a successful marriage. It would be best for an elder or a local scholar to somehow discuss this topic with your parents, if you see this suitor to be appropriate for you to marry.
Do not allow this to escalate, or turn into major problems, and try to deal with it in a calm and wise way.
As for "love marriage", this is an unfamiliar term in Islam. For us, it is either marriage, or not. Love is one thing, and legitimacy of a relationship between two non-mahram people is another.
With prayers for your success.
It is not a sin for a couple to stay married and their marriage be loveless. Marriage is one thing, and love is another. However, a loveless marriage and a cold relationship is not ideal at all. It does affect both sides, and the household as well. Both husband and wife my strive to do something about their feelings towards each other and find ways of re-igniting their love towards each other. It is not healthy at all for them to stay loveless, and it will create a lot of toxicity between them.
In any case, from a fiqhi perspective, if the wife chooses to stay in the relationship under such circumstances, it is not a sin.
And Allah knows best.
I can't quite figure out the Arabic text of these quotations in English, in order to discuss them, so it would be helpful if you could write the exact texts in Arabic, or give a reference.
The closest narrations that come to mind are:
* It is narrated that the best form of ibadah is love for the Ahl al-Bayt (A).
* There is a narration in the Sunni books that a man who is bodily injured by someone (such as in a fight) and forgives that has offered a form of charity to the person who injured him.
Anyway, there are a lot of hadith attributed to the Prophet (S) saying "the best form of worship is..." and "the best form of charity is...", and sometimes different things are mentioned.
From this, one gets the sense that the intent behind the text is often to say that "this is a good thing to do" and encourage people to do it, not that there is a hierarchy of different types of charity or worship, and only one of them is at the top.
(Except in a case where the text is very clear that this is the absolute best thing to do and specifies that it really is meant to be better than anything else.)
Of course, there are many hadith encouraging charity (whether it be material assistance, or other forms of generosity such as kindness or assistance), forgiveness, and love (apart from love towards the vicious or enemies of God).
(Note that someone else may recognize what texts are being discussed here and have a better answer!)